Break Down

I have to write because I am in the middle of a breaking down.

I need to say some of the stuff that supporters of the sex trade feel they have the right to say or write to me. I usually delete or try to ignore that callous language , but it burns at my soul.

I am continually told to kill myself, or that the fact I have not kill myself means that it was not as bad as I claim.

I am often told I am lying about indoors prostitution – for there is no significant violence in indoors prostitution, that the women the are in that system are respected and empowered.

If it is true that there was violence, I am told it was because it was several years ago, that it must be a very dodgy place/s I was in, that I must have encouraged/enjoy the violence and degradation, I should have reported it or walked out.

Some women who owned brothels try to show how safe their place, if I had worked for them I would be fine and dandy.

They have attack me relentlessly since that found I was vulnerable because of grief for my Dad’s death about two and half years ago.

But then prostitutes are not allow normal emotions like grief, for they just robots.

They send me hard-core porn.

I also can’t sleep, have menopause and keep crying.

Supporters of the sex trade, especially those who are embedded in the sex trade – want exited women who speak not just to shut, but to wipe us off this earth.

Prostitutes are not meant to survive, and if they are lucky enough to exit, they are not meant to remember the reality of their hell.

By not just exiting and somehow building another life, but also being brave and strong to speak out, those exited women can expose the sex trade right down to its roots.

We are hated – we are told to kill ourselves, that our words will never heard for we are just mental, that all our knowledge of torture will never be believed.

The sex trade hates us for being a traitor and being too stubborn to die.

Please do more to destroy the sex trade – for these just a few examples of their callousness.

Exited women cannot do it by themselves.

3 responses to “Break Down

  1. ‘being too stubborn to die’. That really sums it up for me, Rebecca. You’re so strong you refuse to die, you refuse to let these people tell you how you should feel or what you should do. Whenever you turn away from suicide and survive another day you’re winning. You’re defeating them by being alive and by telling your and other prostituted women’s truth.

    I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now, I’ve had depression but I’ve not had your experiences. All I can say is that I admire and respect and support you and that I’m thinking of you in this crisis.

    Love, Sue xx

  2. Rebecca, I feel so sorry for everything you’ve gone through and for all the shit you have to bear now. You’re in my thoughts and I will carry on spreading your words.
    *Hug*
    Petra

  3. Rebecca,

    I want you to know that your voice, your expressions, your testimonies of what has happened to you, and what is going on inside you, is heard by many people, and makes a big difference. Why do you think these jerks try to hurt you so deeply? Why do you think you anger them so much? Its because you are a powerful voice, and you scare the shit out of them–the reality you reveal threatens their facade of bullshit. So just know that you are the powerful one; NOT them. They are scum. You are very important, and very powerful. You really should know that. Your voice is like a shining star of truth in a sea of lies.

    People are listening, and sharing what you say to an even wider audience of hungry listeners. We’ve all heard the lies. People want to know the truth.

    I guess the only other thing I would say is can you just not read or look at what these jerks send you? Is there anyway you could just ignore it? That may be beneficial in the long run. ? (Just an idea. I don’t know the exact circumstances).

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