Indoors

How do you explain indoors prostitution in a world that doesn’t want to hear – do you fall on statistics, do you use metaphors, do you have to be graphic, or do just fall back into silence?

How do explain when so many are determined to say it is safe or at less safer than being on the street?

As my heart collapses with grief and incomprehension, I can gasp out how the hell can it be safer?

Think for a few seconds – think how most women are raped and battered behind closed doors, and those are not prostituted women.

Think for a few seconds – know that many street prostituted women and girls also work indoors, or find an indoors space when working the  streets. So why make the artificial between indoors and street prostitution.

Know the workings of the sex trade is to move women and girls around different aspects of prostitution and the rest of the sex trade. This is done to disorient, a form of mental violence, to get as much cash as they can out of her and to make she knows she is nothing but fuck-goods to used and used and used.

Think for a few seconds – is it such a brilliant idea to struck in a room as strange men come in and make you their porn-toy?

Think for a few seconds –  if indoors prostitution is so bloody brilliant, how come those who promote it go on and on about having bodyguards, many checks on the men that are the “clients”, having regular medical checks, having alarms and security cameras, having drivers for added security, lists of bad johns and whatever other security they can think of.

Wow, that sounds a secure and safe place to work in to me.

But, for most prostituted women and girls doing indoors prostitution, all that “security” is a joke.

Bodyguards may just sit outside the room and ignore all the battering, the rapes and even the murders.

For far too many prostituted women and girls – bodyguards and drivers is just another word for pimp. Pimps want cash, and her welfare is totally of no importance.

Cameras can be turn off, or used to make amateur porn.

Alarms can be ignored – or are impossible to find in the middle of being sexually tortured.

Plenty of condoms ain’t of any use as you force to deep-throat, made to do anal rape, as the multiple ways of sexually torturing without penis in the vagina are repeated over and over and over and over on the bodies of prostituted women and girls in indoors prostitution.

For god’s sake – tell me what is so safe about indoors prostitution?

Could it be that once it behind closed doors, you just don’t give a shit any more?

As I hear the language invented to make indoors prostitution ok, I have come to think that.

There is so much wanting to believe that it must be chosen, therefore it cannot be torture,  just a difficult job, but then it can be fun too.

It is a language that ties itself up in knots. So desperate not to look too much at reality, it focuses on exceptions.

It shows empowered women with no background, only the moment they are happy as an escort or working inside brothels is highlighted.

If they slip into into saying it is not always great, or they would rather be doing something else – they are spoken over or it is said they were just joking.

It never said that to survive indoors prostitution you must think it ok; to think otherwise is to fall into despair without any help or exit.

The sex trade is manipulating these women to get new recruits – it is that cynical.

It is cheap and highly effective to have prostituted women saying there is little violence, that managers take great care of their girls, that it is always safe sex, that there is loads of money to be made, that it only a few men at a time most of whom will just chat and do “normal” sex.

What a brilliant way to spread the propaganda of the sex trade.

I know when I was embedded inside the sex trade, I spoke that language. I have no regrets about that – for it stopped me from killing myself.

I just hope and hope that no woman or girl heard me, and thought prostitution would be a good option.

I know that it only if the prostituted woman is lucky enough to be able to exit, that the reality of indoors prostitution comes into her body and mind.

The trauma is extreme, for many exited women it becomes a shadow that there for the rest of their lives. On good and regular days, it may fade or even appear to vanish – but the trauma is always there.

If you choose to back indoors prostitution, know you have ignored the casualties of mass rapes, of sexual torturing on an industrial scale, of murders made invisible – but also those who escape could have extreme trauma for years or even a lifetime.

So, stop using the excuse that is behind closed doors to not see the reality.

Hell, if you can see incest, see domestic violence, see acquaintance rape – then why do you refuse to see indoors prostitution?

God, I became a feminist coz I thought all the private sphere should be exposed.

Only there nothing private about indoors prostitution, it is an open market for any man who chooses to buy from it, it a wide open market for any profiteer to make a fortune.

There is nothing personal about being raped, battered and tortured in indoors prostitution – it can be any prostitute.

But maybe this is why you refuse to look closely at the prostituted woman and girl in indoors prostitution – instead she is kept sub-human.

She is kept inside statistics, inside media and academic debates, inside novels and paintings, inside TV dramas  – always her voice is never heard, unless spoken or written by the non-prostituted.

It has been that way for many centuries – now slowly and with great courage, women who have survived indoors prostitution are getting their multiple voices heard.

But we can only be heard if you make the decision to listen and hear – and not speak over us.

7 responses to “Indoors

  1. Very excellent post. Your writing always touches my heart. I have not had the same experiences you have had, but I am a survivor of sexual violence, and as such can relate on some level. I always think of you as very brave and strong for speaking out. I for one know that I will never speak over you or any other woman who has been prostituted or trafficked. Maybe hearing more voices from women like you – or like any of us – can bring to light the truth about prostitution, pornography, and other violence.

  2. Mrs Robinson, did you read the post you have commented on? Why on earth do you think it is acceptable to come to the blog of a prostitution survivor, ignore her words and treat her with such contempt? Learn some respect.

    And I for one will certainly not be taking your words as gospel considering that the site you have linked to (could you be more insensitive?) suggests that you personally profit from prostitution. Funny thing, I’ll take the words of the prostitution survivor before I take the words of the ‘owner of an escort agency.’

    For someone who accuses others of ‘HAT[ING] HOOKERS’ you sure have shown the survivor here nothing but contempt.

  3. How lovely that a pimp has shown up here to SHOUT at a survivor.

    STFU MrsRobinson, linking to a pimp site on the blog of a survivor of prostitution is disgusting behaviour.

  4. I have deleted Mrs Robinson’s comment coz it was connected to making profit to indoors prostitution, which is deeply insulting to everything this post is about.
    I should of not let a madam/profiteer/pimp/escort provider slip on to my blog, especially one who using it as an excuse to advertise her goods. It will not happen again.

    This is my blog, and I want a space away from the mental abuse of the profiteers of the sex trade. So really don’t bother to write to me, you have a million and one other places that are more than willing to publish you.

  5. Hi rmott62, I’m amazed by your courage for speaking out on prostitution / sexual slavery so boldly. We so need more exitors to scream out the truth everywhere. I’m maddenned to see that not only every single piece of media close their eyes to prostitution, condone it, but even many feminists seem to ignore the reality or or are afraid of being too “radical”, or that beiing abolitionist is being dogmatic.

    My biggest obstacle when speaking against prostitution is the following: I realise that when I speak about the harms of prostitution, people turn the topic away to the issue of choice, as if it unvalidated the entire premise that the sex industry is inherently bad. The argument is often that deciding that the industry is harmful when some prostituted people say it isn’t is being judgemental, paternalistic and disrespectful to their views and personal agency. If they decide it is their vocation, we should respect it. A feminist told me off for defining prostitution as paid rape, and unwanted sex as a form of violence, because it meant I was demeaning to and stigmatising the persons who wouldn’t experience unwanted sex or prostitution in that way. She said that by ignoring their choices I failed to treat them as human beings.

    Sometimes I’m not quite sure how to respond to this, but the idea that some prostituted people may openly defend the industry seems to create much confusion, because so much emphasis is placed on the agency of the prostituted individuals rather than on what the industry and the sex exploiters do to them as such. I’m convinced that whether the person chooses freely or not to enter prostitution, it will not affect the sexist and misogynisitic nature of the sexual exploitation industry, or the fact that it is inherently harmful or destructive. In this sense, choice of entering or staying seems irrelevant towards judging the level of damage that the industry generates.

    Yet people are so used to seeing – for instance – pornificated images of women as the normal standard of feminine attractivity, and seeing objectification and submissive behaviour of women as normal sexual arousal and even as female sexual empowerment, that the violence in prostitution is totally invisible.

    Anyway, I hope I havn’t expressed myself wrongly. I fully support your writing, and hope more dissenting voices will be heard. Your posts are excellent. We need to find ways to encourage more exiting persons to voice out their experiences and be heard in the mainstream.

    Many thanks for your posts.

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