I went to the FCAP launch yesterday. It was very good, but I can’t write about now, for it has throw me into intense trauma.
I kind of know why it so bad. But, I am also finding it hard to cope.
To be with so women that believe the extreme abuses that prostituted women and girls have to live with. Not only believe it, but were willing to what they can about it. This was very moving.
For me it like coming home.
Unfortually, this increase my body memories to maximum.
I get huge pain in my anus. For men used that part of my body until I had blank it out.
When I try to sleep last night, I could not relax.
If I laid on my back, my anus ache with memory. If I lay on my left side I felt too vulnerable. If I lay on my right side, I was sick or went to the toilet.
Today, I am exhausted. But, I keep being sick.
I feel the poison that men choose to force into me is me stopping from going forward.
I hate those men so much. For their brief selfish act of violence, I have left with a lifetime of having to deal with the pain and fear that I may give up.
For those men, I was nothing. They had no conscience, so they will think that they nothing wrong.
So I know men should be punished for paying for sex, because they do destroy the women and girls in the sex trade.