Cry Now

I need to write this. I feel I am in grief now, and this is my kind of prayer for survival.


Cry for the baby born into silence. Cry as she hear all light being taken from her.

Cry for the child as she see her stepdad is staying. As speakless she knows she is scare of him.

Cry as I show the first rape. Look at the silence of the child as in the dark, pain stop her breathing. See his large fingers inside her smallness. Cry as the bed get wet with red of blood. Wet with the yellow with her fear. See the grey dead sperm left dead on her bed.

Cry as as pushes the sheet under the bed. Tidy away all evidence.

Cry as the child stares into porn. Seeing her future laying crushed in her hand. Seeing pain screaming from the pages. Seeing eyes dead from stopping hope.

Cry as you see her alone on the streets. See her break milk bottles to force blood. It reminds her she is still alive.

Cry as she said to her mother. I hate my stepdad, he hurts me. Only to hear – don’t get pregnant.

Cry as you see queuing outside that club. Cry as you see her turn into a robot.

Cry as you see her gang-raped. See her leave her body. See her lose any sense that can be a future.

Cry as she turn into a sex object. See her have her body treated as experiment for every sick sexual fantasy those men had.

Cry as all her emotions die one by one.

Cry as she felt love, only to have it taken by the violence of men.

Cry as she refuse to lose her intelligence, even when it place her in danger.

Cry as she stay alive by pure hate and anger.

Cry that she was so alone.

Do all this crying. Cry hard. Cry long.

And then say we honour you.

7 responses to “Cry Now

  1. I know this is going to sound strange, but I always think of crying as a positive thing. It proves that you are alive and can feel, and can let things out I wish there could be somebody there to hold you as you cry. xxx


  2. I’m thinking about you. Look forward to seeing you again. I’m glad that the girl you were is worth grieving for and that she’s someone that matters and who’s being heard. Big Hugs.


  3. Crying is incredibly important. There are so many feelings that we have stuffed down, deep inside of us, so that we can survive. Crying can be a kind of deep letting go. It can be so healing. Let that little girl inside of you have her grief, let her cry as often as she needs to. She has held those tears in for SO long. She deserves to be able to grieve for all that she has endured, for all that she has lost.


  4. I also believe that crying can be a great relief sometimes.

    This is another beautiful piece you wrote, Rebecca. Although this can be painful to read (i.e. the terrible abuse you suffered), it is so well-written, in a poetical way (I would say).

    I also love the way you debunk so many of the myths that surround prostitution and pornography so wonderfully.

    I wish I could hug you when you cry. You are not alone; we’re here. 🙂


  5. Wow Rebecca, you have such a way with words and such a powerful voice. Thank you for having the courage to speak out and share your experiences with those of us who have never ‘been there’.

    Maggie is right; you’re not alone. Even if you have nobody with you physically, we are here, faceless but not mindless, and we are listening.


  6. We honor you, rebecca.

    The truth is ugly. This world is ugly.
    But there is beauty in your wishes. There is beauty in you.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s