I have been reading “Challenging Men’s Demand for Prostitution in Scotland” which uses the punter’s word to justify their use of prostituted women and girls.
What struck me was the cold callousness of their words. And their embedded belief of entitlement.
“It’s like if you’re hungry you’re not bothered with where you buy food.”
God, I remember that feeling too well. How punters just viewed me as any other “whore”. I was nothing but goods they buying.
There was nothing glamourous about how they choose me. They just went down the line of girls, and took some of us back to our flats. As prostituted girls, we were interchangeable.
We were goods to be brought.
But for the men buying women is “adventurous”. They choose to believe that prostituted women and girls are not like other women.
They are “free-spirited”, they need to have lots of sex. Prostituted women and are believed to have a looser moral system.
All excuses to ignore that the men are harming the women and girls.
For men will believe that rape is rare or cannot happened to prostituted women and girls.
Hell, how can it be rape when you have exchanged money. To say it is rape, would be withholding of goods to the buyer.
Never mind that many women and girls speak of prostitution as “paid rape” or “voluntary slavery”.
What is more important is that men have easy access to sex, especially for sexual acts that their partners will not perform.
For men’s orgasms must happened, or they may not be able to function.
After it is a fact according to punters that prostituted women and girls –
“They basically do anything for money.”
Reading the punter’s words, I throw back to the cold world of prostitution. A world where men make prostituted women and girls into dolls they can manipulate.
Men use prostituted women and girls as a power-trip.
They may not say that in the public sphere. But, each time a man pays for a woman or girl, he paying for her to do precisely everything that he desires.
She has no rights.
“In order to really enjoy prostitution you need to know how to control them.”
That boostful language is keep away from the public sphere. Away from “good” women’s ears.
But that is how I remembered punters behaving and speaking.
I was controlled by fear. I was controlled by confusion.
I heard –
“We could kill any time, only joking.”
I did many sexual acts that damage my mind and body. I knew I had no right to say no.
Control was there all the time, even in the silences.
The thing that makes me very angry, is when men justify their use of prostituted women and girls by saying that it prevents rape.
That is saying that they are rapists, but it does not matter.
It is fine to rape a prostituted woman or girl for she is sub-human.
Her fear is unimportant. Her pain does not exist. It is not rape, for she did not complain.
I was raped over and over. I know many of the men using me knew it was rape. They did not care.
They continue through my fear. They continue through my agony. They continue if I went unconscious.
No, they were focused on their fantasy, and I meant nothing but an object to wank into.
It was “paid rape”.
I read the report. and I was amazed at how these men spoke words I thought would never be public.
“I think there will always be guys that go to prostitutes… something in the paper about guys that have steak at home, still go out for burgers – because they can, it was there.”
To end, a quote from Michelle Tea –
“Every day I was witness to the worst of men. Their carelessness and grand entitlement. The way they can so profoundly disconnect from what it is they’re having sex with, the way they think they own the world, watch them purchase a woman…. I thought maybe all the men called prostitutes. It was a terrible thought, but really, what did I care. There was a system in place that was older and stronger than I could begin to imagine…. I was just a girl…. If I had any power I would make it so that nobody was ever brought or sold or rented,”