Just a Few Words

I have said elsewhere in my blog that I believe in the abolition of prostitution. I would see as a step-by-step process, but I see no need for any man to pay for sex.

The most important thing is the safety and dignity of prostituted women and girls, not whether a man can have readily available fuck-objects.

I am sick of being told about the women who are happy being paid for sex.

Of course I know they exist, but they are a very tiny minority.

Also their happiness is built on an industry that is prepared to torture, mentally abused, rape, batter, murder millions of women and girls because they are framed as “wanting it”.

Oppression that appears endless is very hard to resist. It is simpler to adjust to it in order to survive.

I adjusted to prostitution by learning to be “happy”, learning to perform as if it did not matter.

I adjusted by losing my self.

I understand thinking there nothing wrong with prostitution. I understand blocking the ugly side, and thinking that I had power, that the money was good, that maybe I would men that respected me.

I would of not survived if I had known my reality.

How can one mind cope with all power was taken away from me. That my opinions, my life outside of prostitution, my hopes, my essence was of no importance

How could I know I could stop the violence. I said no so often, but that word had no relevance. I fought them off, and it seen as funny.

How could I know I was not seen as a human, just a replay of the porn in their heads. How could I see they only saw me as targets to be fucked.

Where the hell is the dignity in that.

But I would say I defenced being prostituted then. It was my choice, only prudes were against it.

As for radical feminist making me against prostitution, that is the most patronising nonsense. Although I respect radical feminists coz they seemed the only group to be prepare to see abolition as an aim, not just tinkering at the edges.  

I was made against prostitution because of my life in it. As I saw who I had become, I choose to resist without reading or meeting any radical feminist.

It was my mind and fierce will to survive that made me hate that men feel entitlement to rape, batter, verbally abused, sexually torture and murder women and girls just because they labelled as prostitutes.

My anger from friends I know. My friend who committed suicide after one too many sadistic john. A friend traumatise after doing three years of “safe” high-class escorting.  A friend had enough of men throwing her out of moving cars coz they were too cheap to pay.

My anger is from every rape I lived through. Every time I had yet more sadistic sex forced into my body. Every time I had to smile when in terror and/or agony. Every time I fake orgasm hoping then the john would stop.

I don’t need to read Andrea Dworkin to be angry. I don’t need to read Melissa Farley to know PTSD.

After all it is embedded in my body.

But it is nice to have a language that expresses what is already there.

So, I will a small part of the fight for abolition.

For I believe prostitution is a massive abuse of the prostituted women’s and girl’s human rights to safety and dignity.

I say to the few women that “enjoy” being prostituted, your enjoyment is on the bodies on many tortured women and girls.

I really don’t care what you do in your private lives. But do not part of an industry that is giving men’s permission to treat prostituted women and girls as sub-humans.

Prostitution make it fortune by giving men permission to hate and degrade women and girls.

Of course there will “nice” johns and women who have chosen. But in the end, they are being used by the sex industry to say there is no real harm in prostitution – only women and girls who made bad choices.

Only it seems to me round of 98% of women and girls are unlucky in prostitution.

I put women and girls who are torture, raped, battered and murdered before the “happy hooker”.


2 responses to “Just a Few Words

  1. Well said Rebecca. It is commonly conveniently ignored that when someone is struggling to survive despite having to live with constant oppression and finding no way of escaping from the oppressors, it is a survival strategy to adjust in order to survive.

    Which is why so many women in prostitution use these strategies in order to survive. Dissociation is a survival strategy when there is nothing else a woman or girl can do with no way out of a man-made and male demanded situation.

    You found this truth yourself and no you didn’t need to read about it to discover it – your intelligence and insight did that.


  2. The way I see the happy hooker argument is it’s like a whole lot of women went to a party, and ninety percent of them were raped by the men there, but ten per cent of them had sex and had a good time. When everybody wants to talk about the rapes and how these parties should never happen again in order for women to be safe because men are using them to rape women, they keep shouting “No! What about me? I had a good time. We have to talk about that and how much I enjoyed myself.” as if their enjoyment and happiness outweighs the suffering of the majority and they must remain centre of attention at all times.

    Prostitution is institutionalised rape. The people who want to keep the parties going are supporting the ongoing rape and abuse of women in prostitution whatever they tell themselves.


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