“A traitor is he who changes in the eyes of those who cannot change and do not change and does even conceive a change.” – Amos Oz.
Sometimes when I speak or write out about the conditions I knew in the sex trade, I get accuse of acting like a traitor.
I suppose it is a back-handed compliment, for it proves my words have power. It show that words makes those who power over me and too many women and girls in the sex trade afraid.
They should be afraid when women who survive their tortures, their rapes, their mental abuse, their degradation and their hate, say their truths.
They should be afraid that their facade that sex trade is fun, empowering and liberating for women and girls will be shattered by the words of women who know that is all lies to build a trap.
They should be afraid that exited women will say all the criminal acts done to them for a profit and an orgasm.
No wonder exited women are treated as traitors, for the sex trade is defencing the indefensible.
It cannot defend that it allows rapes. It cannot defend that many of these rapes are made into porn for yet more profit.
It cannot defend sexual torture. It cannot defend allowing injuries and mental abuse to become normal.
It cannot defend the lack of interest whether women and girls get STDs or pregnant.
It cannot defend the massive profit made from the waste of the lives of the women and girls.
So it does not defend itself, but attacks anyone who speak out against the sex trade. And express it rage that women who were in the sex trade could betray and turn their back on the sex trade.
How dare they change.
These women were not meant to remember the tortures, the rapes, the living with no idea if they would murder or not, the language that reminded they were an object to be screwed, the constant disorientation of being moved from one aspect of the sex trade to another.
They should not remember all that. They should be insane or dead.
Not speaking out in a clear voice where their words will be believed.
So, the attacks come thick and fast. The sex trade deal with everything by mentally disorientating in order to be in control.
Women are told they are liars, that their words if true were just one- off events by “bad” men. Women are said to be mentally ill or so damaged before entering the sex trade that they did know that it was meant to be “fun”.
Women are told that did enjoy being in the sex trade, but now because society condemn that lifestyle they feel ashamed. They should be proud.
Women are told if the violence was so bad, why didn’t they just leave. Ignoring for most there is nowhere to go. Told that men who violent are condemned by the sex trade – I have no words for that.
Women are done that all porn is made with the full consent of the women in it. There is no rapes, torture or real injuries in porn for it is just acting. Say that to my body and the millions of women’s bodies that made your porn for your wanking.
It is said that the freedom of speech of those who made and distribute is more important, than if porn may have damaged mentally or physically the women raped in the making of it. That those women cannot and will not have freedom to speak.
There are many more attacks on women who exited the sex and who say their truths.
They are condemned for daring to live. Daring to remember their realities. Daring to say their pain. Daring to express their grief.
Daring to show their fury. Daring to say there is no excuse for sexual slavery, there never was and never will be.
Daring to end being a victim. Daring to change.
Yes, they are traitors. But I am damned proud of them. I am proud to betray the sex trade.