Well, I have manage faster than I imagine to save money to mend my computer.
I am pretty proud of that. It shows how seriously I take this blog.
I am really sorry about my last few posts, I was very stressed and menopause is not much fun.
I have been not writing, but thoughts go in and out.
I wish to write as I was, what I had to be. I don’t want to sugar-coated my past.
I was no heroine, I was made brave because I no other choice.
I was neither good or bad, just did whatever keep me from dying.
Many prostituted women and girls have survived much worse histories than I did.
Many prostituted women and girls experienced what appeared less, but are more traumatised.
I see myself as one of millions – only I can and will speak out.
Too many women cannot say their truths. Too many cannot see or know what their minds and bodies had to experienced.
I cannot speak for them, I can only speak what I know, and if I can connect that is a wonderful bonus.
I speak out the horrors I knew, for as I say, I have come to see them as a common thread in the sex trade.
I thought I could say of being gang-raped often and with cold efficiency. No, I thought gang-raping was rare and done in violence drunk or sober.
Not done in the slow, cold silence with my body move so their penises have easy access. Not done as a punishment for what I could never remember.
I write of gang-rape not coz I can ever repair that past. I write coz gang-raping is common in the sex trade.
It is used to “groom” girls into prostitution. It is used by special “clients” as a free gift from the club. It is used by pimps or managers to remind who is the boss.
It is used to stop uppity prostituted women and girls.
I speak out about the common use of anal raping in the sex trade.
Yes, I know I anally so often, hell I choose to lose count. But there is nothing unique in that.
For most of my life anal sex was named “whore sex” – not fit to be done to good women.
But any man at any time in any situation must and should force his dick up a whore. That’s is her job, after all.
Men act as the prostituted woman or girl cannot know pain.
She may bleeding from her anus, and he cannot know that. She may faint from pain and small heart attacks, but he imagined it is a orgasm.
Fucking up the anus is perfect for john.
She has no face, she cannot resist, her no is mumbled.
Of course anal sex is and will always be whore sex. All the “Cosmopolitan” articles won’t stop that, all the talk of “play” won’t stop that.
It is whore sex coz it men showing their pure hate for the woman or girls. It is whore sex because it is just about degradation, and maybe the bonus of sexual torture.
I speak out that even when johns are “nice”, it cannot make the sex trade ok.
Johns owned the prostituted woman or girl. Maybe they owned for 20 minutes, maybe several years.
In this ownership, the johns can choose how they behave.
They choose whether to beat her up or sit on the bed and chat. They choose whether she is girlfriend material or the filthy whore to make into a fuck-object.
The johns control what will happen. They choose whether to murder, rape or just act like a gentlemen.
It is a sick male fantasy that prostituted women and girls have power over johns.
All that I speak out about, I say coz they are so common in the sex trade.
My story is the past, it the future that I care about.
I so bloody sick of hearing and knowing of the torturing of prostituted women and girls going on now.
I write to join the war to prevent john’s and the sex trade controlling and owning yet more women and girls.
I’m going nowhere, not with my knowledge of my suffering sisters.