This something I write with deep shame.
But has what I written this week push my readers away. If not, please could I have some support.
I am going through a very hard time since I heard about my stepmum’s illness.
I need to know that my recent anger has scared you lot away.
I need support because my grief for my Dad is so raw. I miss him so much.
I miss him on Sunday afternoon when we chatted on the phone. I miss him when I see paintings he loved. I miss him as be-bop comes on the radio.
I miss as reviews of novel are in the papers. I miss him when I watch football or cricket. I miss when Cornwall is mentioned.
He was my Dad. He was my best friend. He one of the few men in my life.
My emotions are so raw.
I have an anger that is drowning me.
Anger that I feel I am only listen if I fit the preconceived idea of the exited prostituted woman.
Anger that I cannot make the serious changes I want – and it may not happened in my lifetime.
Anger that every label I try to wear, does something to let the fight against the sex trade.
Anger as I wonder if in the end it is only prostituted women and girls who will allow in that their lives are complicated.
Anger that most still see prostituted women and girls as non-humans.
Grief brings my anger to a rawness that makes lose support. Lose support when I need it the most.
Otherwise I will fall into the isolation that was the majority of my life.