“In her heart she is a mourner for those who have not survived.
In her soul she is a warrior for those who are now as she was then.
In her life she is both celebrant and proof of women’s capacity and will to survive, to act, to change self and society. And each year is stronger and there is more of her.”
“A Battered Wife Survives”. Andrea Dworkin.
This statement could be behind most of why I write this blog.
When I started this blog, I know now I started from a place of grief.
I begun when there was a media storm about the murders in Ipswich of prostituted women.
Somewhere deep in me, I found the whole thing surreal. I had no words for that feeling.
I just know it was rare that deaths of prostituted women and girls were reported or even noticed.
Instead on a daily basis prostituted women and girls disappeared, are made to be forgotten. And this is made unimportant.
I sense a grief in me for I had knew that many women I had known had “gone”.
I sense a grief of knowing death is just part of being prostituted. It just a risk of the job.
My stomach almost throws up in grief at that callous attitude. The attitude that prostituted women and girls are just goods, so a few deaths here or there is no problem.
So in my writing and deep in my heart, I mourn those who did survive.
They move my hands when I write.
As I write, I know that far too many prostituted women and girls are in the conditions I was, and so many that my head wants to burst are in far worse conditions.
I never forget them.
My warrior spirit wants to fight for them as she can for.
Sometimes she feels so weak when she knows the scale of destruction of prostituted women and girls to keep the sex trade rich.
But she also believes deeply in the incredible inner strength of women and girls who are now being prostituted.
It takes so much strength to be detached from the pain, detached from the contempt and hate.
It takes a lot of strength to build a livable illusion when living a life of hell.
Many women and girls survive by having a private space where no john, no manager, no violence can enter.
It may be TV, it may be bird watching, it may small collection of personal stuff, it may be reading, it may just reinventing stories in your head.
Everything that is keep private, when living a life where you made into public property, is essential.
The private saves so many from suicide, from mental illness, and can in the long run help bring back to knowing who you really are.
The sex trade often hates prostituted women and girls having even private thoughts, for fear they may work out their lives have made into a living hell.
So, it is not surprising that many prostituted women and girls live in conditions where sexual violence is a constant. Where there is little gaps between johns.
Not surpising that the sex trade moves prostituted women and girls round different aspects of the “work”.
Not surpising that the majority of prostituted have no security with how they are paid, often finding a huge cut is taken by their boss.
Not surpising that concepts of sexual or physical safety is a pipe-dream for the majority of prostituted women and girls.
All this and many other cruel tactics are used by the sex trade to disorientate prostituted women and girls – and give them no space to have even private thoughts.
My warrior fight for the majority of prostituted women and girls who are told they just goods, just fuck-toys, just living porn.
My warrior stand up for them saying they are full human who have the right to safety, the right to not be enslaved, the right to their own privacy, the right to dignity, the right to their own sexuality.
They have the right to not be a sexual object – but a living, dreaming, creative, thoughtful, caring, adventurous, exciting, joyful woman.
They have the right to go away from the sex trade, and decide who they really – not what they made into.
I cannot live in a world where a class of women and girls are just there for men to choose to wank into.
My warrior spirit has had enough of that.
So I do celebrate prostituted women and girls, for I know they are strong.
Think of the strength it takes to survive rape. Then imagine that rape is one of many, not over a month but in one night.
Think of the strength it takes to survive being battered. Then imagine you told that is your role, and if you complain more vicious violence will done to you.
Every women knows of sexual acts that disgusts or terrified them. Imagine that is something you have to do on a regular basis.
Prostituted women are some of the strongest women I know.
That strength can only increase if they given realistic and practical ways to exit the sex trade.
We need to imagine having long-term and specialise mental health help for exiting. We need to find stable housing, with the safety of being away from the places where she was prostituted. We need to have access to training, further education and other ways to find way to earn money.
We need to imagine that men are punish for rape of prostituted women and girls. That men whether running the sex trade or johns are punish for beating prostituted women and girls.
We need to imagine that buying and selling of women and girls for men to wank into was the most stupid idea that humans invented.
Then prostituted women and girls can begin to have some freedom.
Then they can start teaching the hard lessons they have learnt to all who are prepared to listen.