I am placing this version of the speech I am giving in London in October, if you going to the conference don’t read. This is more for my readers who cannot get to London.
Do say if anything needs to be altered.
WHAT’S WRONG WITH PROSTITUTION?
I was shocked and surprised to be asked to speak by Feminists in London. This was because it is so rare that exited prostituted women are given a voice in the public arena.
I speak as a prostituted woman – not as a sex worker, not as a happy hooker. I will speak of some of my experiences. This is because my reality was not rare, but rather it was a common practice used by the sex trade to control prostituted women and girls.
For you to understand some of the reality of that time, I will need to take you back to who I was then.
I want you to imagine that you were me. Do not think of it happening to someone far away. Do not view the reality with detachment or with pity. No imagine being so dead inside, that you no longer care what happens to your own body.
Know that, and you begin to know what is wrong with prostitution.
Imagine being 14-years-old. Not a happy 14-year-old, no she was dead long before she ever enter the sex trade. Imagine her standing in a queue waiting to enter a club. Not a normal teenage club, no a club that after midnight lets in under-aged girls for free. Not a normal club, no a club where the men are ten, twenty and thirty years older than the girls, they sit separate and just stare at the girls. Not a normal club, as the girls sit at the bar, not being allowed to talk or move.
Imagine that you are there. Tell me you would not block out reality. That you would refuse to see that you are being prostituted. No, you were young, you do not see beyond the free drinks. You learn to pretend that it is sophisticated.
Only let’s look at who those men really were. Let’s see what the club was catering for.
To see that, I must take you back to my very first night, and who I was then. It was one night in 13 years of prostitution. Years where all the violence folded into one mass. There are no soft words for that time, all I do is to take you there.
To know that time, you must know what it is to live inside a body that does not belong to you. Even before you were prostituted, you had been mentally and sexually abused in your own home. You had learnt that your body belonged to others – others who treated your body as their personal sex-toy. Know that having feelings was a luxury that you could imagine. All that was before you were prostituted. Then you have become the type of girl that the sex trade wants. For then you will be easy to brainwash and manipulate.
To know prostitution, you must enter some very dark places. On that first night, I was gang-raped. That was the test to see if I was suitable material for prostitution. When I say I was gang-raped, it was many gang-rapes over several hours.
Imagine queues of men raping you everywhere, inside every hole in your body. Imagine that it seems endless. Imagine that you go in and out of consciousness.
Then imagine that you do not, cannot care. Haven’t you learnt long ago that your body is there to be damaged. That you have no right to say no. That your purpose is to service men in any and every way that they can think of.
That is what is wrong with prostitution.
Prostitution is where men perform their porn fantasies on real women and girls. In my life, my body was forced into whatever was fashionable in porn. I knew “Deep Throat” without seeing one clip. I knew it as I was chocked, I knew it as i was made sick, I knew it as I lost consciousness. I knew it as johns forced their penises to the back of my throat.
Anal sex is a constant in porn. Johns love it as it is unnecessary, and often causes the woman or girl a great deal of pain.
Imagine being forced against a wall, legs together, hand to your throat – then you are anally raped. That is the kind of thing that many johns think they have the right to do.
That is what is wrong with prostitution.
Johns know that they can do any violence to prostituted women and girls, knowing that the majority of our society will refuse to care.
After all, it cannot be rape when the man has paid for it. I would love to say that this view just comes from the users and producers of the sex trade. No, it is a common view of the Left and far too many feminists. This excuse makes any and all violence done to prostituted women and girls invisible, or of little importance.
It is so much easier to speak of happy hookers or sex workers. Speak of women who appear in charge of their own working environment. Do not speak of the reality that the vast majority of prostituted women and girls are trapped inside the sex trade.
By refusing to view the constant violence that is prostitution, feminists and the Left are betraying a whole mass of women and girls.
As an exited prostituted woman, I have felt incredibly let down feminists choosing to ignore the mental, physical and sexual torture that is prostitution. Instead, too many will believe the illusion spoken by sex workers of making the working environment safer and forming unions. There is no speech of basic human rights. All speak of abolition as a long- term plan is blocked out.
That is an abandonment of prostituted women and girls.
If feminism is serious about tackling male violence, it must listen and hear the voices of exited prostituted women. Do not speak over their voices. Do not tell them that they are misguided about their own realities. No, learn to listen with an open mind.
After all, these are women who have lived with rape on an industrial scale. They know of sexual torture, they know the lies that men tell to make their violence invisible. They know what it is to live with violence so long that they can no longer feel.
Prostituted women and girls are on the coal-face of male violence.
That is what wrong with prostitution.