Every time that I have tried to write a post in the last few days, my internal anger has got in the way. Instead, I have gone into distractions.
I spent hours on youtube, seeing old film clips and tons of music. I have disappeared into the TV.
But anger will not leave me.
I kind of guessed September would be hard.
Hard coz when I do have money, it was when I go on holiday.
Hard coz I giving my speech in October, so my sickness and depression has risen to the surface.
And this year it is bloody hard coz I miss Dad so much, I often saw him in September and walked round Richmond.
I am boiling with anger at the general ignorance and refusal to learn, that so many have about the sex trade.
Why when the same people who make the choice to be ignorant will be highly informed on Iraq, will do on research animal torture, will read tons about climate change.
But want to keep prostitution simple.
Either simple boxes of child abuse leads to prostitution, that it is must be a drug problem, that it is an issue of having safer working environment.
It could be just a problem of trafficked women and girls who are not prostitutes, they will be classed as sexual slaves. The problem is children as prostitutes.
Or the problem is the discounting of the women who choose to do sex work. The women who treat it as a business, and are making a success of it.
I am angry at the constant stereotyping of women and girls in prostitution, for I would consider the concentration on them is a red herring.
However good or bad the conditions are for the individual prostituted woman – she is just goods to brought and sold.
In the end, the focus should be on the sellers and the buyers, not the goods.
After all, goods will no control on how they are sold, no impact on how the buyer wishes to treat them.
It is the choice of the sex trade to have women and girls that are treated well and with relative respect.
Hell, it a great recruitment to have women to say that prostitution is safe, that it is work where women have control over men, where it can short-term work to gain loads of cash, even have women in top positions to show it can be a career.
Many managers will hide behind these women, knowing that the vast majority of prostituted women and girls are never allowed to have any respect, no they are just the shit under their feet – but it is highly profitable shit.
Johns loved to fantasies that they are respectful and that obviously the prostitute is with him because he is a sex god, and also she must be in love with him.
They think being gentle, that not hitting, only sexual acts that he consider to be normal – makes him a nice guy.
No, it just makes him a hypocrite.
If he was a nice guy, he would not be buying a woman or girl to masturbate into.
Anyhow, so many nice johns will still hit, and then say sorry. Will do anal sex, thinking that it just what you do to prostitutes. Will participate in gang-rape, or filming sexual violence, for by being part of a group they can take no responsibility for their actions. Will strangle, or do sexual acts that may harm/kill the prostitute – but if they named it rough sex, then it means they are still nice men.
Fuck nice men.
No, the responsibility for any violence done to prostituted women and girls, laid firmly with the male entitlement to have a system where it is ok to buy and sell, just so they can have fuck machines.
For to be prostituted is to be made into a machine.
What else can it be when sex is rape repeated over and over and over and over.
When being raped is so constant that having a body is forgotten, is just a machine where men stick in penises, where men move the body to positions that makes easier for it to be like porn.
This body is nothing but a machine that will be the wishes of whatever men want, or how the porn image he is imagining.
Being a prostitute is only made better, if you learn to forget human traits.
Such as remembering that you have your own desires, that you can feel pain, that there could be degradation, that you have a brain that wants to escape – just forget that as a human that you are worth so much more than your body is experiencing.
God, my fury is that by focusing on women that are prostituted, and attempting to blame or pity them, we are allowing the male violence to be more and more invisible or make excuses for it.
Christ, nobody forces any man to buy or sell women. It is a choice, because it so easy.
No-one makes a john rape, beat up, strangle, gang-rape, copy violent porn on prostitutes. They do because they can without any consequences, they do it because they see prostitutes as machines so why would they feel pain, terror or think they may die.
Men have to take responsibility for participating or choosing to ignore a system where women and girls become sexual slaves, where sexual torture is a norm.
It not a time to tinker round with making their working environment safer.
Safety bells only work if managers give a damn about the welfare of their goods.
Condoms only work if the johns decide that will wear them. How do you make a john put on a condom when he going to rape you, when he has proven he will use violence to get his way.
No-one can fully safe when you kill someone in less than 60 seconds. Do you stop the violence half-way through the rapes, does that make it better.
But more important, how to stop the violence when the sex trade works by saying there is no real violence.
Rape is not rape, it is the job. Rape is just rough sex, just johns experimenting.
Men pay to beat women up – and these women must enjoy it.
The sex trade will even find excuses for the massive rates of murders of prostitutes – usually that she made some basic mistake that meant she was no longer safe -i.e., she work on the streets when it is “safer” indoors, that she was an addict so it was not safe, that as a woman who may have been abused as a child, she did not understand how to form boundaries.
It goes on and on how the sex trade makes violent to prostituted women and girls invisible.
What makes me angry is how men outside the sex trade choose to believe these blatant lies.
Your complicity is allowing women and girls to live inside sexual torture.
Bloody wake, especially is you claim to care about torture.