Yesterday I went to the launch of a paper – “Men Who Buy Sex: Who They Buy and What They Know”. It jointly written by Eaves Housing and Prostitution Research and Education.
There were 103 men questioned of varied backgrounds.
Here I will lay out some of the statistics and quotes from the men. I have decided not to comment for they speak for themselves.
54% of the men are in a relationship.
27% used the net to find a prostitute.
90% used indoors prostitution, 36% also used street prostitutes or in a car. 81% used more than one location.
60% used brothels, 55% used flats functioning as brothels, 47% used massage parlours, 33% used escort agencies, 37% used saunas, 23% used strip clubs, 20% used bars and 19% used private parties.
25 % thought raping a prostitute was “ridiculous”. 47% thought men got carried away. 48% thought it was men’s sexual drive “out of control”. 16% said they could rape if they thought they would get away with it. 24% thought the concept of rape does not apply to prostitutes.
27% thought once they had paid, he was entitle to do as he chooses. 27% thought that to a greater or lesser extent that she loses her rights during prostitution. 17% thought that for half the time or less that the prostitute may have some rights.
33% thought women were blatant liars. 46% thought women enjoy putting men down. 31% thought they had a “raw deal” from women in their lives.
54% thought prostitution decrease rape.
36% thought prostitutes started before the age of 18.
32% thought that 0-20% of prostitutes were abused as children, 34% thought 30-40% of prostitutes were abused as children, and 35% thought 50-90% 0f prostitutes were abused as children.
40% thought prostitution had a negative effect on the women. 19% thought it was positive for the women, mainly through financial means.
53% thought they had some emotional connection during prostitution, of these men 46% thought it was minimum emotional connection.
58% used porn films or videos once a month or more. 51% used porn on the net once a month or more (20% once a week, 15% more than once a week). 32% used porn in magazines once a month or more. 24% went to sex shops once a month or more.
Only 6% had been convicted for soliciting sex.
71% had some guilt, shame or felt negative about buying sex.
78% thought they had a sex addiction.
QUOTES FROM THE MEN
“I feel sorry for these girls, but this is what I want.”
“No big deal, it’s just like getting a beer.”
“My favourite experience in prostitution was when she was totally submissive.”
“Look, men pay for women because he can have whatever and whoever he wants. Lots of men go to prostitutes, so they can do things to them real women would not put up with.”
“If you go to the wrong one, you might as well be in a morgue, there’s just a slab of flesh there.”
“We’re in the age of instant coffee, instant food. This is instant sex.”
“Prostitution is like being able to masturbate without doing any of the work.”
“You pay for the convenience, a bit like going to a public loo.”
“Sometimes you might rape someone and you can go to a prostitute instead.”
“changes the person when she does it. It changes how she looks into the world.”
“I don’t want to know about her. I don’t want her to cry or this and that because that spoils the idea for me.”
“relief that I’m not going to rape her.”
“A normal woman is never as highly sexed as a prostitute, it would be wrong.”
“The more I watched pornography, the more specific my wants ave become. Watching pornography has shaped my sexual desires. I watched pornography and I discover ‘hey, that really turns me on’, and I want to recreate what I have seen in porn.”
“I would say prostitution is bad, don’t go. You won’t get what you are expecting, it’s not like a porn film.”