Since writing the post “See, You Enjoy It Really”, I have been struck by the glamorising of women’s orgasms, and how it a great ploy to make male violence invisible.
For me, an orgasm is nothing more and nothing less than the biological reaction to being stimulated.
But, always it portrayed that when and if a woman get wet, she must totally into the sex, she must want the man, she obviously is up for it.
But men know their orgasms come whether they want sex or not, know it not some deep emotional connection. Hell, the penis get hard in the cold, get hard when watching TV.
Men know it is biology for them – but for women is some deep emotional and “romantic” drive, or it must that some women are sex-crazed so get wet at a drop of a hat.
So, when men know they are raping, are forcing the women to do sex she doesn’t want, to be in a sexual situation that scares her – if she gets wet, he makes that his get-out clause.
It cannot be rape, if she is cumming – for it is clear she wants him, she could be loving it really.
When I was prostituted, johns would force orgasms into me on a regular basis.
I do not remember ecstasy, I do not remember feeling the men were ok really, I do not remember some deep connection.
I was just having an orgasm.
I do remember feeling betrayed by my body, I do remember terror, I do remember it did not stop it being painful, I do remember it made me dead inside.
As Laurelin commented in “See, You Enjoy It Really” –
“Pain makes us feel that the body is separate to the self, and sexual feelings can do the very same thing.”
As a prostitute, I was dead inside but I still had orgasms real or fake.
Many times I had orgasms I had no idea that it had happened, for I was too busy remembering to stay alive to give a damn.
I had orgasm in extreme pain, it did nothing to lessen the pain, but usually give the johns an excuse to carry on torturing me.
I had orgasm as men forced to have multiple ones in me to big up their egos. Often they force orgasms till I was at a state of exhaustion, even would faint on occasions.
To their minds getting a whore to faint, coz of their sexual prowess, was a huge triumph.
An orgasm for a whore is no exit, just a victory for the john. It gives her no rest or peace.
Orgasms become associated with betrayal and pain, so it is natural to cut them away.
To be a good whore, you must able to cum on command. That is never natural, so to survive the mind will be detached.
I could cum whilst thinking of shopping, I come cum as watch birds out the window, I even came as a john fuck me, but left on his TV and I watch a Mexican soap.
I never notice the johns, so why would I care about cumming.
So, let’s be honest about prostitution and orgasms.
Do not imagine that many prostituted women and girls enjoy sex even when they having orgasms on demand. No one should have an orgasm on demand, an orgasm should from their heart and some kind of connection.
An orgasm on demand is from a place where the body has learnt to try to protect itself by cumming. It feels the danger, and knows to let go.
But in reality, having an orgasm is no protection, no for the vast majority of prostituted women and girls is places them into danger.
Johns ravel in getting a whore to cum, often pushes beyond her pain boundaries, making it keep going beyond her physical limits, leaving his sperm and hate all over her body.
He wants her to cum until she becomes nothing – then he can say he has made it with a whore.
That is the reality of orgasms for prostituted women and girls.
Nothing about connection there.
So, to get a more realistic view of orgasms during male violence would be needed if we want end the sex trade.
Do not think of orgasms as spiritual, something that shows the inner nature of a woman- remember an orgasm is just a biological reaction
If you are lucky enough to be in a safe place, without threats and brainwashing, to have an orgasm that is a deep connection and appears spiritual – well, that is fabulous, but it is darned privileged.
Do not think that is the norm for far too many women and girls, especially the prostituted.
Remember that cumming can be from fear, can be coz a rapist is stimulating the body, can even just from exhaustion.
Don’t view orgasms with Cosmopolitan eyes, eyes that all orgasms must be good, and kept heterosexuality nice and stable.
Don’t make orgasm so special, they are just a reaction.
View the woman not the orgasm.