After writing my last post, I have felt a slight release from some of that hell.
I hope it can open some people’s eyes to internal sex trafficking.
I want to promote a new music video that is aimed at teenage girls about internal trafficking.
It is on – mydangerousloverboy.quba.co.uk .
I recommend it because though it very short, it show some of the emotional traps that make young girls feel safe and loved before they know they in prostitution.
Although my path into prostitution was not through a “boyfriend”, but through my close female friend, I understand the desperation to trust and then be blind to danger.
Many girls who are entrapped by internal trafficking do have adults or friends that they can trust, many live with emotional abuse, so easier allow others to manipulate them.
If it appears to be love, if the girl is made special, given expensive gifts and the centre of attention – many vulnerable girls will think it a genuine relationship.
I thought I had a real friend, a friend who treasure me, who could give me some joy, a small degree of safety.
I refuse to see the danger signs.
When I sold out into sadistic prostitution, I still thought she must be my friend.
It was only when I saw her taking money from men, realise that only I had to do the sex, that she was having friendly chat with the men that nearly killed me – that the penny dropped.
But by then I was trapped in prostitution.
It is this wanting to trust that is so dangerous.
Wanting to trust leads making your mind not accept the violence as real, for trust get in the saying the men did not mean it, or you enjoy really.
Young girls can not compute the planning that johns do before raping and torturing prostitutes.
Trust blinds you to managers and pimps, making them into friends or lovers, for that is easier than the reality.
Reality of hate and degradation. Reality that you are nothing to them, but a cash-cow.
Young girls want to hope, want to be loved, want to please others, want to rebel, want to dream, want to grow.
All that means nothing to the sex trade. All that is smashed out of them.
I survived, and got eventually out of the sex trade.
But I live with wounds of that time.
I know I wanted to trust, and that became my trap.
Do not walk pass these girls.