Pain of a Whore

WARNING: this is strong stuff.

I live with pain as my shadow. I hope it shows as rarely as possible on the outside – just some moaning and be exhausted.

I don’t want my pain to be seen, only here on this blog and with trusted friends. I don’t need the world to know.

Not a world that little or nothing to end the factors that put the pain into me.

I will show my pain in the public arena when and if there is serious striving to end the sex trade once and for all time.

Until there is full justice – my pain must be hidden in order to fight for that change.

But here in this post, here on this blog, here is a small relatively safe space – here my pain is slowly finding it has a voice.

A voice that rages, a voice that is no longer afraid to be confused, a voice that has found she is no longer alone, a voice that dreams of weeping.

My pain is finding that freedom can be real – and it cannot believe it.

I want to speak out about the factors that impounded my pain, made so embedded inside my body that many days I forget it is always with me.

I write often of prostitution being made up of mental, physical and sexual torture.

I want to see those words – and not be detached, not think it so sad for other women and girls – think you are in the middle of prostitution, think of the pain.

You may know with your mind that to be a real prostitute – your role is to a fuck-object for any and all men who buy and sell you.

I sure on an intellectual level you can find a language to make that ok – the language of detachment, the language of saying I would not do that but I would not judge any woman who did, the language of trade unions and place into the workspace, the language that is just sex.

I know you can make it pretty by never allowing yourself to feel what to be a whore.

But, I like Bancho’s ghost, will not give the safety of detachment – you should have some guilt for refusing the utter pain of being made into a prostitute.

I refuse to let you off the hook, I will not say it was pretty.

How would like that any man can any sexual act on you.

That is the simple acts of sex you may imagine – it not just getting vaginally fucked, not just blow-jobs.

Being prostituted is not always a quick painful fuck – and then it is over.

It may be many quick fucks over and over and over – until all feelings in your cunt is gone.

But, if you doing indoors prostitution – most punters want to buy that can repeat all hardcore porn onto your body, and also mentally fuck you up.

You are nothing but an object – you will be a slave.

The pain will entering from everywhere – pain in parts of your body you of thought no-one would even imagine using as a fuck-toy.

Your body will become a war-zone, without any hope of knowing there can be an end.

Then you are a real prostitute – not some image on the page, or inside films or TV.

To cope with this pain – a real prostitute learns very fast to numb all feelings of pain.

Many have known all their lives – lives of pain so deep that becoming a whore is just another logical step.

Pain from coming having no love in their lives – where the fake “love” of punters and pimps is known not to be real, but it is so much better than nothing.

Hell, nothing is better than nothing – that should be the motto of most prostituted women and girls.

Pain of having to get money by allowing men to rape, verbally abused and tortured you – then be told at least those men are not being violent to real women and girls.

Pain of knowing you want to leave so much – but cannot find any way out, or getting a joke of freedom only to sent back into more sexual torture, but this you are also laughed at.

That is the pain that doesn’t melt away just because you have exited.

I write here of pain – but find too hard to write.

That is the hell of surviving prostitution.

Stop making excuses for its existence.

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2 responses to “Pain of a Whore

  1. There is no way in hell to justify Prostitution. Not by pretending by Joe Public it is not our problem or it cannot be that bad. The majority of people want to deny the existance of it along with the Inherent Harms someone who is or has been Prostituted has to live with for Life. That is for those of who physically survived by not being Murdered. It is beyond time for the Public to pay attention to the truths and reality in Prostitution and as you always so rightfully state not listen to the lies spread by the Sex Profiteers. In Solodarity Kelly.

    Like

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