The expression sex work is taking over reasonable conversations round the sex trade.
It is seen as the pc way to label those who have been in the industry, it is seen as a way to be non-judgemental – it is the expression that every decent person should say.
I hate that expression, and for many reason I want it rip out of every debate, every report, every academic study, every radio or TV documentary, every newspaper or net article – god, I can only dream.
It is an expression that slowly murder the voices of exited women, it is an expression that has brainwash women and girls inside the sex trade into accepting the unacceptable, it is an expression that is free advertisement to recruit vulnerable women and girls into the sex trade – and most of all, it is an expression that makes invisible the everyday violence and degradation that is the sex trade.
I hate the expression sex work.
Let’s look carefully at the two words, place then in the context of the sex trade – and I will show you that they do not fit.
When most people speak of sex, they are imaging sex they enjoyed, sex that is done with agreement, sex that even when it is casual there is some communication, sex where they can be laughter, sex that is basically fulfilling.
That is not the sex trade.
When others imagine prostitution or being inside porn – when they imagined in the frame of sex work – it is not reality they are searching, it is the fantasy that it is their fulfilling sex but with money.
I am sick of being told it is just sex – maybe sex with bonuses. Just sex where you lose inhibition, take a few risks, do taboo acts – always in some safe environment and with boundaries.
That is the fantasy that the sex trade is pushing into the media, is spilling out into women and girls who have no alternative information – it is easy to believe, it appears so attractive.
It is not just sex – it will be torture, it will degrade you, it will make you lose all hope.
I call it torture for what else can you name it, when you just an object that is used sexually – you are not a human, you are holes to be fucked, to be rammed, to be torn apart, to be spit into.
How can you remember to be a human, when your role is to be any man’s living porn-dream. You must forget your feelings, yours dreams, any ambition – just remember your only purpose is be his sex slave.
Where is the fulfilment in that, where is the natural laughter not the laughter of performing seal, where’s the communication, there’s no agreement when the prostitute has no rights and the punter has all power and control, tell why that can be framed as enjoyable.
So tell me how can you frame it as just sex.
Say that – and you are making invisible all the rapes, all the sexual tortures, all the cold hate of punters and profiteers.
Call it sex – and you betray millions of women and girls inside the sex trade.
Your language is encouraging their embedded self-hate – if you open you eyes and ears, you would see and hear the suicides that is the common only way out of the sex trade, you would view the so-called sex is done by the living dead so detached from their body that even the most vile tortures are hardly felt.
Call that just sex, and you refuse to view porn and see the eyes where there is terror, the eyes that may be reaching out for some end – or worse, the eyes that have given up all hope, the eyes of a robot.
Call that just sex, and you can go into a lap-dancing club, and see the razzle-dazzle, ignore that no-one give a damn about the no-touch code, ignore the back rooms where full sex is demanded by “friends” of the management.
Call that just sex, and you can imagined escorting is lots of one-night stands with men who are decent and respectful. Not the usual, that the escort has no rights to turn away any punter, no matter how violent he is, no matter that her life is threatened – no matter that she has no humanity.
It is never just sex when there no access to equality – when the prostituted is sub-human goods, and the punter can and will have complete control.
That is not just sex.
The sex trade uses the word work with great care, it is use to normalise the violence and hopefully make it so normal it becomes invisible.
For example, when speaking of deaths inside the sex trade, it often compare to other dangerous work.
That is comparing apples with elephants – for it is comparing slavery with work.
Most work-place deaths in say mining, fishing, logging, firefighting – is man-made disasters or accidents. It not usual to be murdered because of your role at work, it not usual to have high suicide rates because of the work.
The vast, vast majority of deaths inside the sex trade are suicide or murders – and most are made invisible for it is considered that the woman or girl had no rights when alive, so throw her away when she is dead.
That is not work.
It is imagined that if you label a woman inside the sex trade as a worker – then by magic she will considered as a full human, and have rights over her conditions and access to full safety.
That will never happen in the vast majority of the sex trade – through the sex trade will always push out a few so-called safer places to be in.
As long as we allow the sex trade to exist – the profit will be in providing men will access to violent porn, access to performing any extreme sadistic acts on prostituted women and girls, access to escorts that can owned to control for long periods, access to sex tourism, access to any ethic stereotype no matter if she is trafficked or not, access to under-aged girls.
Straight sex is low down on the list of things that makes huge profit.
It is very rare that anyone produces porn, manages prostitutes or sexual establishments out of the kindness of their soul, or coz they give a damn about the mental and physical welfare of the goods they employ.
It is so rare, I have never seen it in the real world.
How the hell can there ever be worker’s right in that environment.
Work is the word used by the sex trade to give the illusion that they care about the welfare of their girls – it is used to recruit other women and girls into the trade.
But safety is an illusion inside all aspects of the sex trade.
No woman and girl inside the sex trade can control whether violence is used on – that is always the choice of the profiteers and punters.
Porn is only as safe as the producers decide it will be – if they find great profit from sadistic sex,from using the body of the women to place beyond pain and terror for the entertainment of the viewer – then she has no safety.
A prostitute, whatever label she is framed in – has no safety, when she has no rights to turn any man, when she has to accept rape is just the risk of her job, when she is framed as an object that any punter can pour his hate and rage into.
That is not work – and damn you if say it is.
This is too painful to write – I would appreciate comments.