I do not use this blog to heal myself – I use to get power back that was stolen from me.
Healing is often about staying inside the individual – and can dis-encourage any forming of wider political views of what give me trauma.
I do not want to heal – I want to get justice, I want to build a world where every aspect of the sex trade is abolish, I want the words of exited women to place in the forefront of the battle to reach that dream.
Healing can used as a distraction from fighting that war.
Healing can be yet another way to blame the individual exited woman.
She is told her anger is blocking her healing, she is told not to always focus on the past, she is told to learn to forgive herself, she is told to show outward crying and all will be fine.
All this may make others feel better about themselves – but it is done with little listening and hearing exited women.
Instead others see exited women as their pet victims who they can map out healing.
Healing becomes a selfish act of do-gooders.
These do-gooders have no intention to bring about what would give true healing – to bring real justice and leave exited women to find their own path to empowerment.
They refuse to allow that exited women can be deeply political, deeply full of inner power, deeply able to know their own way forward.
This does mean there is no severe trauma, no doubts, no weakness from too many body memories.
But must exited women. have more inner power than any one of those do-gooders could even imagine.
After all, exited women have survived thousands of experiences of sexual torture, mental brainwashing and physical violence – they have let that world with courage, often kept their sense of humour, often have an optimistic views on their futures and they have kept their sanity.
After all, most exited women manage to save their own lives usually with little or no help or support – they have not re-build their lives with the shadow of severe trauma, but usually made that life stable and with joys and the luxury of having boredom back.
After all, some exited women have made the choice to use their past to force change towards abolition – they have the courage to confront ignorance of friends, they can choose to write or speak out in the public arena. Always reminding there is a wounded human face in all aspects of the sex trade.
That is not about the individual healing – that is the community of exited women learning how regain their power.
That is what I call empowerment.