I feel it is important to write how I was broken down, till I was suitable for the sex trade. It not important on the personal level – that is just my past, there nothing that can be done about it. It is important because it was never personal.
That is where my politics lay – that as a prostituted woman I was never a person, never given the luxury of having an individuality – no, I was just one of millions of women and girls broken down till they were nothing but Whores.
We were broken down – but being just women and girls, being what others decide are the “bad” girls – it was and is made of no importance. But, if we were horses suddenly there would be pity and outrage – but I always forget, we the prostituted were and are worthless.
To break down a woman or girl to be the ideal Whore – it is not important to know her back story. All that matter is her appearance – it all about will she fill a hole in the market.
Profiteers and punters don’t care or want to know if she has been previously abused; don’t care or want to know if she is desperate for money or interested if she is just pushing boundaries; don’t care or want to know if she got no self-esteem or gone into hardness.
They are just looking for profit – they are calculating how fuckable she is or how much money they squeeze out of her.
Therefore any woman or girl who is vulnerable enough, or too dead to care, can be trapped inside the sex trade. The market is ever expandable.
Any woman or girl can and will be broken by the sex trade, any woman or girl can be made into the ideal Whore.
Just have around two or three things go wrong in your life – just fit the porn-fuelled ethic stereotypes that punters demand; just be in a natural or man-made disaster; just get sexually abused as a child; just lose your status and money; just be hanging with “friends” that tell you it is just fun; just have a “boyfriend” who said if you really love him, you would have sex for money – just be an ordinary woman or girl too overwhelmed to know it is a trap.
Those are the women and girls that the sex trade breaks down. The more broken down we become – the more we are made invisible to the public gaze.
The aim of breaking us down is not to make us into an objects that any and all punters can pour all their porn hate into – but the purpose of being the ideal Whore is give out the veneer of being the Happy Hooker.
We are broken down until we smile inside life-threatening sexual torturing; broken down so we cannot know rape only re-brand as work or our role in life; we broken down so intensely that we fiercely defend our own oppression.
We say loud and clear that we choose this, this must be liberating us, it our job after all.
We have been broken.
Broken by being put into the worse – say with me being gang-rape for several hour; say being forced be shut in a room with a known violent punter until there is no point in caring; say having head forced into water whilst being anally raped; say being beaten into hospital coz you refused a certain violent punter – just a few tiny tiny examples of way that being shown the worse make any woman or girl get broken.
Once you have known the worse – your mental and physical boundaries are smashed up. It is true, that when you know you are trapped inside the sex trade and are shown the worse – that then the only way to somehow survive with a tiny bit of sanity is just kill all emotions, deaden your body to all pain, detach your mind completely – to made yourself the living dead.
To be the ideal Whore – kill yourself in life.
That is what the average punter wants – a prostitute that is too dead to care what he does to her body. He can hit her, he can do all the porn sex he can imagine on her, he can “play” life and death games with her. She is his property – he will and can do as he wants.
And included in his money-worth, she will look happy whatever he does to her, she will remind him he is the master and she will obey him – she is what all women and girls should be.
Why should he care that she is completely broken?
We were and are broken by the sex trade making sure we are isolated from the real world.
If we inside a cult, that would be terrible – but again I always forget being inside the sex trade is always a free choice.
We are and were broken by being told no-one gives a damn about whores, only our pimps/managers care about us; broken by hearing over and over no-one will believe you could do such horrible sex acts unless you wanted it, hell if it so bad why don’t you just kill yourself; broken as we told we just sex-crazed, no-one fucks so many men without wanting it.
Words broke us every day – we just learnt never to show that we cared.
We were and are called bitches, whores, slags, sexually mad, power-crazy, dominator of punters, damaged goods and on and on and on.
We were never call human, or had anyone who remember we had a name. Goods are just goods – especially highly disposable goods.
That broke us utterly.
So if you know anyone, or if you yourself – who make the choice to buy a prostitute – know you will in the vast, vast, vast majority of scenarios, you or they will be buying a broken woman or girl.
That make you or they a criminal – for you are pouring yet more violence and hate into her.
I have the right to hate each and every punter – for each and every one of them as making broken women and girls go through even more destruction.
But as we are not horses – I suppose it no big issue.