I believe it is vital that exited women from the sex trade should have the right to have separatism – especially as many exited women have clear insights and use that to be strong abolitionists.
But all round us, there is fear of our voices, there is ignorance as we speak in our own language and concepts, and there is a conscious silencing that we have access to have a separate voice.
What are you afraid of? And why if you fear our voices, do you continually resort to emotionally blackmail?
What makes me very sad is part of the silencing of exited women comes from places where they say they anti-sex trade, but constantly refuse to listen and hear our voices – instead speak over us, speak for us, speak through us – but never stop if exited women question their theories.
The classic of this is the old theory that all male violence is just on a continuum, that it all effects women the same way.
This is partly true – but please see and hear the differences – please hear our words that being inside the sex trade, especially long-term prostitution and in the industry of porn – is very different from being raped or domestic violence.
Let us speak the differences, do not speak over us and through us. Stop thinking in old ways, and hear our voices, even through our voices have said the same words for centuries – they always are have made new to those who will silence us.
I have been raped by friends, I was raped by my stepdad, I have been battered by men who know as a person.
There is the fundamental difference – the difference that must be silenced – the prostitute is raped, battered and murdered not as an individual woman.
The men that destroy her never see her as any more than goods. The prostitute is never allowed to be human – even when she has exited the prostituted woman is always known as that nothing – even as she builds humanity and regains her essence – she is never allowed to forget she was disposable and when being raped was never seen.
We now speak that voice of being made into disposable objects. We know our rapes, our batterings and the likelihood of our murders were never personal.
For to all punters, all sex trade profiteers and too many outsiders – all prostituted are just whores, and all whores are just goods, no whore has the luxury of being fully human.
This is why many exited women choose to speak in the language of human rights and the language of extreme torture – rather than the language of domestic violence or individual rape.
It is not being done to an individual prostituted woman – the same mass rapes, the same sexual torturing, the same brainwashing, the same reality of murder, the same reality of being made sub-human – is there for the whole of the prostituted class.
To see just on the individual level is to avoid making real change – and to avoid the reality that the sex trade is founded on torture and genocide – see it just as an individual and you think it just some sad one-off “horror story”, rather than a calculated plan to have a class of women who are just fuck-toys.
That is why the language of healing and individual journey is deeply patronising and silencing – it ignores that this a deep political issues for exited women.
But then we are meant to stay as victims to be pitied, and patted on the head if others decide we are individually healing.
We are not meant to know and see the bigger picture.
But exited women always connect – they find it easy to see that all prostituted women and girls are connected, they see the bigger picture that the sex trade profiteers are some of the must be cold-hearted and successful capitalists that societies have ever made, they see that all consumers of the sex trade feel it harm-free for it is non-humans they are buying.
We see, know and feel the hugeness of the sex trade, we know it goes into most aspects of our daily lives – it those who want to silence us who insist it just a small issue, and can put into a box, and if you don’t like it you can avoid the sex trade.
This silencing is used every day to make invisible the conditions for the prostituted class.
Exited women must be silenced – for they remember those conditions, they have found a clear voice to say those conditions.
You must silenced the ex-lap dancer who speak of having to provide sexual “favours” in order to have enough cash.
You must silenced the exited escort who remember no safe space – only the hope that a punter will decide not to be sadistic.
You must silenced the exited porn performer who had multiple rapes, multiple sexual tortures and constant mental violence still inside her mind and body.
Just silenced all exited women – and then we can carry on with the status quo of the sex trade.
It must not be heard that there can never be a safe place for a prostituted woman.
Not when the point of all prostitution is that the prostitute is fully owned and controlled by the consumer. It the consumer’s right to treat her however he wants and can – and with the vast vast majority of sex trade consumers their imagination are fuelled by porn, fuelled with hatred of the prostituted class, and fuelled by knowing he is the master.
How in that environment, can anyone imagine there will ever a safe space for the prostituted class?
But instead, you go for the terrible concept that it should be made safe enough that prostitution and porn can continue.
You back putting condoms into all porn shots – ignoring the multiple ways the women are raped and sexually tortured without penetration.
You would put all prostitution into legal brothels and controlled escorting – ignoring that behind closed doors, the punters have more time and privacy to be as violent as desire. Ignore that the vast majority of the prostituted are murdered in a room, not outside.
We speak loudly and clearly of these everyday dangers – and are continually ignored.
We are treated as sad cases, treated as deluded, told we must be liars, told we just don’t understand what good sex is, and on and on and on and on.
We are constantly reminded we mustn’t have a separate voice – for we can never be human enough to have any voice.
You kept us as sub-humans – that is why separatism is vital.