Your Kindness is Killing Us

I am writing this post to the many liberal-types who sincerely believe that placing prostitution indoors will be done to protect the prostituted.

That naive belief or stubborn refusal to face the reality of the violence that is in all prostitution – is killing prostitutes all the time.

I know many of you have a good heart, and care deeply about ending male violence to women and children.

I know you think you are caring and are advocates for the prostituted – but if you push society into putting prostitution indoors, you do view the prostituted class as sub-human.

I want you to read and understand that – we are made sub-human as you shut the doors on all the violence and degradation done to the prostituted.

I want you to answer in a straight-forward why only the prostituted class are the groups of women and girls who safer indoors than outdoors.

I am sure you know most child sexual abuse is indoors – we rarely hear of the stranger murder-rape in the open air. It is mostly known adult men raping girl children – and even in the rare occasion it is a strange man, the violence is done indoors.

Most rapes of most women are done indoors – mostly again by men they thought they could trust or were men they have a relationship with.

If a woman is beaten up, it is highly unlikely it will be outside especially not in the public gaze. Women are battered indoors, in a place that should be safe.

This is the norm for most non-prostituted women – this is the war against women and girls that many Liberals will see and acknowledge.

But what breaks the hearts of exited women and abolitionists is how all this violence is made invisible when the woman or girl is inside the sex trade.

I feel heart-broken and like screaming my head off – as more and more societies are seeing the way to “help” the prostituted is legalise brothels and other methods of indoors prostitution.

This is so deluded and dangerous.

It is partly based on dividing the “good” and “bad” prostituted woman.

The “bad” prostitute will be on the street, possibly highly damaged from being a prostitute from a very young age, she may be damaged coz she was raped as a child. She will live a chaotic life-style, and be addicted to drugs. She is beaten and controlled by pimps (who of course must be Black and dressed as a Pimp).

The “bad” prostitute cannot be helped, she is too lost – well that a convenient excuse for keeping her as sub-human and refusing to see her human rights.

The “good” prostitute has enter prostitution as some form of empowered choice, and has the power and freedom to control how the punters treat her. She will do for the money and the thrill – and of course she can leave at any time on her terms. She works indoors usually as an escort or girlfriend experience.

Of course, the reality is that both these extremes of what is to be a prostitute are just invented by the sex trade and its apologists. Look into my descriptions and there is no real woman there – just a cartoon image taken from porn.

Knowing that it becomes clearer that everything that claims that indoors prostitution must be safe is build on lies and sex trade propaganda.

If it highly unsafe to place a non-prostituted woman alone with a man who could be violent – why is ok to constantly leave the prostituted women alone with not just one man but many,

Do really think that buying her – will make the prostitute safer?

It seemed that exchanging money or goods in so-called business exchange has the magical properties of making all violence and degradation to the prostituted class invisible.

Now how can that be done unless you view the prostituted as sub-humans?

Think of the prostitute as your best friend, your sister, your daughter, your teacher, your aunt, your mother – for god’s sake, think of the prostitute inside that room as your body and mind.

See in your eyes the fear of waiting and knowing that men will come to pay for you to be raped, beaten, and degraded. Know even when it not violent – men are paying to owned you.

Men are paying to fuck a thing that may be alive, but can never be viewed as human.

You be in that room.

You be the prostitute who survived by refusing to see, know or be in her own reality. You learn what it is to so made into a porn-toy – that just breathing is painful.

That is normal in all forms of indoors prostitution – including the so-called “posh prostitution”.

If you allowed yourself to have real compassion and empathy for the prostituted – you would know that the more money and status a punter has – the more likely he feels entitled to use extreme violence and hate.

After all, he can buy a sexual slave for as long as his money lasts. He has the contacts and power to have complete privacy to be as sadistic as his imagination will take him.

And the rich and powerful men will get away with it – for they control justice, they control how the media views them, and they can buy an image of being a good man.

Those are the punters that love indoors prostitution – so where is any safety for the prostituted?

I am very exhausted and very angry – so rest now.

Feedback would be cool.

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30 responses to “Your Kindness is Killing Us

  1. Wow! Another powerful post. Rest well, we need your truthful, potent voice to help clear the smoke and mirrors that the porn/sex industry spews out and that self-interested politicians adopt so that they can remain entitled buyers of sex.

    Once again, you have clearly and potently spoken.

    Love you, dear Rebecca~

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  2. At this point, it is hard to write; too upset and angry along with, and for you. Every word rings with truth, and sheds needed light on a subject that is still considered NIMBY, and “too hard to think about” in most segments of society. Stay strong, and keep pointing out the inconsistencies and outright lies that the male-dominated sex-trade assholes have made up and sold to their for the most part unwitting, and certainly cowardly, supporters, the public at large…..One day we can hope to see radical changes in society, but those changes unfortunately must be fought for one day at a time…. I’ve abhorred the perpetrators of this crime against humanity and women for many years, and still must fight the misconceptions that were taught to me before I was able to reason for myself. But it helps me to know that there are women who have been able to free themselves, and they have all my admiration and support…. take care, and well written….. Indoors, schmindoors, it’s all a bad idea; bringing it indoors, as you say, just lets it be hidden more easily….and fosters the same old misconceptions and misogyny…. Blessed Be……

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  3. The good prostitute inside and the bad prostitute outside. I’ve heard this from so many sources as well. It’s so sad. If you’re outside, its okay to be a victim of something or unhappy, but if you’re inside, well it’s all your own fault so we’re going to be extra harsh in judging you. It’s so sad. The punters who use street prostitutes are looked down on by those who use indoor ones?! It’d be hilarious if it wasn’t so sad. Either way, they are doing the same thing; fucking a prostitute.
    You make so much sense.

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  4. Rebecca this is so brilliant. Brava! These words are so true:

    If you allowed yourself to have real compassion and empathy for the prostituted – you would know that the more money and status a punter has – the more likely he feels entitled to use extreme violence and hate.

    After all, he can buy a sexual slave for as long as his money lasts. He has the contacts and power to have complete privacy to be as sadistic as his imagination will take him.

    And the rich and powerful men will get away with it – for they control justice, they control how the media views them, and they can buy an image of being a good man.

    DublinCG, I so agree with what you said about “if you’re inside, well it’s all your own fault so we’re going to be extra harsh in judging you.”

    Putting us indoors and erasing what happens to us makes it so much easier for punters/Johns, and the male and female pimps who profit off of sexually exploiting us.

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  5. Dear Rebecca, I am very sad to see the condition of prostitutes, that it be inside or outside. I don’t know if I can express my feeling when I read all the stories of prostituted women who write comments in your blog when myself I never experienced prostitution. Nethertheless I lived in my past some abuses that you mention in your writings but that are not precisely prostitution or not precisely incest sensu stricto.. I never lived the horrors you passed through but your writings talk to me, i am with you, on your side and for your fight!

    Florence

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  6. SweetRachel – I have left up your comment as an example of the rubbish I and other exited women have to put with.
    You seem to not to bother to read my words, or only read what you have already decided is there.
    I am very pleased that you as an individual have not experienced violence, but that does not mean that indoors prostitution is safe or can ever be made safe. It is always the choice of the punter whether or not he will be violent to the prostitute, and he can and does attack at any time, there is very little an escort can do for it can done very quickly and put terror in her when she thought she was safe.
    As for the emotional blackmail that a punter will killed himself just coz the police are at the door – that is just propaganda and porn fantasy. Most punters know they can talk their way out of most violence done to the prostituted – for the police see just being a lad.

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  7. Rachel, I’m sure we are all very happy that you enjoy you’re work etc etc etc. WE GET IT. This woman, on her own blog, is entitled to her opinion on her time working as a prostitute.

    Why are you making it about you?
    It’s not about you. Stop being so selfish.

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  8. Dear Sweet Rachel, I don’t think Rmott62’s blog is going to harm your business. Most her readers are not going to be your client anyway. What will harm your business is your sitting here, spending half an hour posting a long comment or two instead of soliciting your clients, or creating your own blog making escort so alluring and promising a career. Then who am I to make the assumption that you are one escort? You may have a few of them at your disposal to ensure a steady income while you sitting comfortably making poorly constructed comments. I found this question very disturbing “Who will be responsible for that guy death?”. The real question should be “Who is responsible for thousands of death of prostitutes?” “Guys will always see escorts.” most of the men I know will disagree with you (probably will change their minds after they met you of course).

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  9. First and foremost, this blog post was very well written and made great and insightful points as usual. You’re an inspiration for speaking up against this powerful and corrupt industry.

    sweetrachel69, your words are FAR from the typical words of escorts, which leads me to believe you’re a capitalist. The whole thing about “emotional blackmail to punters” is a line of bullshit spewed by guilty customers and pimps. You make it sound like this is just having sex with people and it’s not prostitution. Perhaps you’ve completely deluded yourself into thinking coercing women into sex and a woman actually desiring to have sex with you are one in the same. If so, you need to check yourself and come back to reality. How dare you read the terrible treatment described in this blog and comment with such indifference. Where the fuck is your humanity?

    As far as the “argument” (if you can even call it that) that making prostitution illegal makes it dangerous…IT ALREADY IS DANGEROUS. That’s kind of the whole point. That’s the reason you have so many women who desperately want out of this industry. You legalize industries that are already dangerous and threaten the lives of people. That’s the reason we have things like labor laws. There are tons of people willing to work over 40 hours a week. There are children who are willing to work. There are people who are desperate enough to work for under minimum wage. If you legalize these violations, you don’t get safer slave labor…you get more slave labor. Slave labor that capitalists will exploit to their fullest advantage. And having the power they do, you can guarantee they will. The same goes for prostitution.

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  10. Rachel – I would never say that street prostitution is safe -for as I always said the violence is the choice of the punter, and that can be in any location, and can happened to any prostituted whether she is a street-based or doing indoors prostitution.
    I was an independent escort, and have know many brilliant women who were or are independent escorts. The reality is however safe it may be portrayed by the sex trade – there can never be true safety when a punter is paying to own the prostitute and have the right to control her and do whatever porn fantasy he wants.

    Thanks everyone for your support.
    Jade, it is slave labour – for the vast majority of the prostituted of their human rights and strip of access to being fully human.

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  11. SRachel, any woman who’s been in prostitution more than a few weeks understands the continual threat of violence. In the ten years I was in prostitution in NYC I never felt a John was in danger of jumping out the window! What a bizarre statement you made:

    He will be capable to kill himself throwing out the window. It can be a joke for some, and the reality for others. Who will be responsible for that guy death?

    Of course, the white male and female pimps who usually run escort services are extremely concerned about any legal trouble, as it hurts their business. They also want the women they traffic to be completely focused on the Johns — rather than themselves.

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  12. Sweetrachel69, if you think legalisation makes prostitution safer maybe you should talk to the 60% of German women working under legalisation who say otherwise. Or maybe you should take a look at the way human sex trafficking has EXPLODED in Holland and the state of Victoria in Australia where legalisation has been implemented. Formerly prostituted women are telling the truth about prostitution because they no longer need to tell themselves the same lies you are currently protecting yourself with.

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  13. Sweetrachel69, punters rape, beat and steal BECAUSE THEY WANT TO. No other reason. I’ve worked outdoors, indoors, call-outs, call-ins and every other type of whoring you can think of, and yes, as far as physical violence is concerned – street work is by far the safest. If you doubt that it’s clearly because you’ve never done it and are buying into whatever bullshit stereotype you’re hearing about an area of life you’ve never lived.

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  14. Those poor johns being emotionally blackmailed. How dare they feel any shame for their crimes against women! It should be as consequential to them as buying a loaf of bread. How dare they be made to feel any shame for how they continue to perpetuate a system of rape, murder and degradation of women.

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  15. Stories from the Red Light – just because an individual is happy is her choices whilst she is still embedded inside the sex trade – does stop that the vast majority of the prostituted are being exploited. As you are a group that stand for the status quo of the sex trade, which means putting the rights of punters before the safety of the prostituted – and supporting the sex trade profiteers, I do need or want your support of my blog.
    As for there being a “pack mentality”, that is very condescending for the comments are from women who have read my blog for a long time, not just barge in to try to silence me – many of whom who have commented know the reality of escorting, as I do.

    Eileen – if you do not agree with my blog, you do not need to read it, after there is plenty of pro-sex trade writing all over the net, which would my your scene.
    It is funny, and sad, that you think my readers are just “mean girls”, when you just come on here to bully and attempt to silence my work.
    I do not think that stigma is the major issue for the vast majority of the prostituted wherever they are, whether on the streets or indoors prostitution. It is more important that because the punter has brought her, that she has lost her basic human rights, and in the forefront of male violence. As I have said many times – the real choices are made by the punter – who chooses whether to be violent or not. The choices are with the sex trade profiteers who framed what degree of violence will done to his/her goods.
    The point about coercion is if a prostitute is brought and sold – then the language of coercion is made to disappear. She is made into goods, and her rights to even think no are of no importance. It is punters who decide whether or not to listen to the prostitute – and for the vast majority of the prostituted, her voice is silenced and ridiculed. If a punter want to be violent – then for him it just getting his money worth. Most punters could not even imagine that a prostitute is human, let alone that she has rights to safety and dignity.
    Finally, the old line that the only reason I and other exited women had a bad time in indoors prostitution was because we had the wrong temperament – it is very dangerous nonsense, for it makes the ordinary violence of the punters invisible, and makes invisible that all prostitution is founded on supplying sadistic sex to those punters to make its major profit.
    Prostitution is never about the safety and welfare of the prostituted – it always about the profit and providing a class of women and girls mainly that men can make into objects.

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  16. Okay, I can see that there are those who would deny Rebecca Mott’s truths. What motivates you? What fear prompts you to attempt to dismantle her every response to her experiences? Why do you spin support from exited women as mean girls?

    I know about your vicious denial of her (and other exited women) position and feelings.

    It goes like this: either you are a pimp who deeply fears that your source of revenue will dry up because if Rebecca and others speak out, no sane female would come near you. Or you are employed by the porn/sex industry and you will not/cannot see that the exploration of women for the eroticized rage of men is dehumanizing. This applies to porn and the prostitution of women.

    The porn industry PAYS many like these writers to foul up every thread with denials, dismissals and straw man screeds. They call themselves any number of names, MRAs, etc., but we see them all over the web. They are paid to search the web for anything that threatens their future incomes and/or access to enslave and torture women—and they are paid very well to disseminate their lies and false tales of happy prostitutes and porn performers. They are paid to instill doubts when the truth is presented.

    The porn/sex industry considers paying these bots—these robotons—a mere marketing strategy. So consider yourself duped if you have fallen for the notion that men have a right to porn or access to women”s bodies. You drank the Kool-Aid.

    The torture, slavery, dehumanization and abuse is negated and denied by these paid puppets. But the truth stands in spite of these paid sociopathic liars. Rebecca is speaking directly to that and you cowards are afraid of her, afraid of her truths.

    I am a fierce woman who sees through the machinations of pimps and the porn industry. Be gone, fools, you have no power here.

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  17. Well Sad Excuse, I did not delete you, but you are speaking a repeat of what every man who benefit from the sex trade would say.
    I have never said “all men” are violent, that is not something I believe -for I am just speaking of the men that make the choice to buy and sell the prostituted class.
    If you are a punter, I would say that commit an act of violence for you have no real knowledge of the full background of the woman that you make the choice to buy. By paying for sex, you are regardless whether you accept it or not, in the position of a rapist, and most punters are serial rapists – for the money make her consent of no relevance. Of course, a prostitute does and will make a “relationship” with a punter especially is that is what he has paid for. But the vast majority of prostitutes give little or nothing away about their private life, or whether they are happy or not. It is safer to perform happy whatever the circumstances – so you as a Punter have no idea what the conditions the prostitute have to put up with.
    Also, if you choose to be non-violent to a prostitute, it does not mean she is safe -for any punter at any time in any location can make the choice to be violent to her.

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  18. Right as this my blog I will delete and put into spam every apologists for indoors prostitution. There are loads of spaces all over the net or you to put your views on – but this is just a silencing tactics on exited women. Of I know you all benefit from the sex trade – so it is very important to you to destroy our voices.

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  19. Johns coming on this thread and justifying their violent disgusting behavior to us stupid women. Very nice.

    This is the mentality of the pro-sex trade lobbyists. They have zero boundaries and feel perfectly entitled (as Rachel did) to come into this space and tell us how great prostitution is when any person with half a brain knows whats really going on. You wanna start with the condescending jabs at survivors of the sex trade you can bet your ass we’re going to stand up for them. Now they bring their sick fucking john friends who feel absolutely zero remorse about what they are doing to women by purchasing them as fuckable goods. This is the tactics you employ everywhere. Stop acting so innocent like we’re naive, stupid girls who don’t know exactly what you’re doing.

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  20. Sadexcuse, can you put the Kool-Aid down long enough to her me out? You have been duped.

    Women do NOT have the same set of choices that men do in this patriarchy. Read chapter three, “Choices: His and Hers” in Robert Jensen’s “Getting Off.”

    The pith of it is that no choice is a toggle with—on or off— and the for women in the patriarchy, choices is less free and much more nuanced than a simple choice. Read the book, choice is not an absolute state like ones and zeros on a microchip.

    This may seem incredulous to you, but no woman freely chooses to be an escort or prostitute. Not the way a man chooses to be an accountant. Being prostiituted—when it involves any degree of acquiescence on the part of the woman—is not an identical choice

    No don’t reach for that glass of Kool-Aid just yet.

    Prostitution is what is left for her many, many times. Yes, women have historically tried to make the best of really bad situations (we would go mad otherwise) and sometimes even say things that are not fully true because: WOMEN HAVE NOT BEEN TAKEN SERIOUSLY OR BELIEVED when they object to patriarchal treatment, even when it is non-violent. We loathe it. But you fellows are not listening.

    Now pick yup your Kool-Aid before the stains wear off your lips.

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  21. This is a personal blog, by a blogger who needs to get her words out and who has the support of other bloggers who have gone through the same experience. You didn’t pay a cent to come here, you are not charged for leaving a comment, you don’t even have to read it!!! I’m sorry but you are just going to have to get over the fact that she and her supporters are going to argue back. The reason why this blog exists at all is because the words of exited women are continually silenced… even at a feminist conference in Australia last year, ‘pro- sex’ feminists successfully cancelled a speaker who is vehemently against the sex industry. What about HER ‘free speech’? And what about the ‘free speech’ of exited women on a blog? What, she can’t even have THIS space for herself? And why attack exited women at all when you KNOW VERY CLEARLY what this is about? I am sorry for the rant but it pisses me off when people who do NOT get access to that precious free speech get attacked, accused and further attacked when they respond to it. Just use the ‘back’ button sheesh. (Suppose I’ll get flamed now, oh well)

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  22. really, I’m not sure anything else needs to be said. there will always be children born (and some created) who cannot experience empathy, people who exist only to satisfy their own selfish desires. they mimic the expressions of concern in a way which only benefits themselves.

    Psychopaths are not worth your time or your emotional energy — the only reason to respond to them is to refute their arguments in case there is a normal person lurking who could benefit.

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  23. Pingback: Trafficking/Prostitution & the Evil of Enforced Silence « Survivors Connect Network

  24. Love what you said: ‘You be in that room’. I think that says it all. Walk a mile in my shoes dear sex industry supporter and then let’s see if you still think it’s liberating and fun.

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  25. Pingback: Liberals and funfems: you are killing women! | The Prime Directive

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