The Coffee and Condoms Brigade

For many it is considered that handing out condoms and doing some chat about drug use is enough to deal with prostitution.

It is not, and never will good enough.

The coffee and condoms brigade keep the prostituted as sub-humans, even if they might do out of kindness or sheer naivety.

But on occasions these so-called kind people are just playing the game to please sex trade profiteers and continue the endless supply to punters.

I want you to look with a clear eye why that is so.

It is so because by just providing condoms, and having brief chats about drugs – it is not about knowing the prostitute as full human.

It is not in-depth for then it might heard that she is not happy in prostitution. It is not in-depth in case the prostitute said or show injuries condoms can do nothing about.

But mostly it is not in-depth, coz then it may be impossible to just patch up the prostitute and send straight back to a fuck-machine.

Keep it on the surface level, then you imagine you have done a good deed, but not have to worry about the prostitute as a full human being.

Also, think more about why think that condoms is some kind of solution to prostitution.

Do you really think that prostitution is just vaginal sex – and all the prostitute has to worry about is HIV and getting pregnant? Do really think that punters pay just to do “normal” sex or missionary position?

Are you really that ignorant?

Boy, I did indoors prostitution for round 13 years, and it very rare that punters pay to fuck my cunt.

To be honest, it was kind of relief if was just did that type of rape – for may be the only thing they do and it is relatively quick.

Most punters pay to do sex that they believed “real” women would not do.

In other words, punters pay to sexually torture and rape the prostitute, usually fuelled by the latest fad in porn.

Prostitutes have their anuses and vaginas ripped apart, prostitutes are choked by strangling and deep-throated, prostitutes have many injuries from being bashed up.

What the does any condom do about that?

Also having multiple violent sex will and does give the prostitutes extreme trauma.

Does a condom protect the mind?

Could it be the condom is more for the punter – so he gets no “nasty” diseases as he make the choice to paid to rape.

And more important, it may keep hidden if he a regular rapist of the prostituted – for he does give his partner any sexual diseases.

Condoms are great for sex trade profiteers – for his goods do have the inconvenient of being ill or getting pregnant.

But the coffee and condom brigade often live in a fantasy world.

They believe that all punters will wear a condom, and a prostitute can with ease get a reluctant punter to put one on.

Now, you try getting a punter who has brought you to put on a condom if he does want to.

Remember by buying a prostitute, the punter will know he owns her, and he can and will rid her of all human rights, including the rights to her own personal safety.

Remember most punter who refuse to put on a condom are highly likely to be mentally, physically and sexually violent to the prostitute.

And remember it of no issue to him whether she gets ill or pregnant – for she is a non-person to the punter.

Now tell me how you would persuade him to put on a condom.

In my experience, my wanting to live is more important that getting the condom on.

What really makes me furious about the coffee and condom brigade is how they run away from indoors prostitution.

They leave those prostituted women and girls to rot.

If they do venture into indoors prostitution, they ask permission from sex trade profiteers to go in.

They give those profiteers the time and space to clear all under-aged prostituted, who prostitutes with visible injuries, all prostitutes who appeared to be trafficked – leaving behind the prostitutes who have learnt to speak the language of the profiteers and can smile when nearly dead.

It is easy to just pass round coffee and condoms in that environment – there be no uncomfortable talk of rape, no questioning of whether there is consent or not – not when all the speech is of choice.

It is a deep betrayal to the millions of the prostituted who living in hell in indoors prostitution.

Coffee and condoms is never enough.

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9 responses to “The Coffee and Condoms Brigade

  1. It seems to me that the “condoms and coffee” function is a stratagem to acquire both funding and credibility as spokeswomen for the prostituted’s interests. These organizations become the go-to people for comments on what women want. But it is the industry’s interests that they promote. In fact, I have heard an executive of our local C&C corps speak to students at a Montreal university who were thrilled to no end to learn about “the life”. When asked by a student whether it was possible to negotiate condom use for fellatio with escort agency owners (pimps), the speaker simply answered: “You will get less referrals.” This from someone being funded by the State to talk women into using them…

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  2. Reblogged this on gigoid and commented:
    Here is another article from a strong woman, who talks hard, about hard subjects, and with great power, insight born of experience, and righteous disdain for those who believe they are aware of the extent of these issues, as well as disgust of those who perpetrate and perpetuate this actrocity…. Anything she has to say is worth listening to, and you may rest assured, whatever she says will be repeated here, and spread as far as I can send it….so, listen up, and get off your duff… do something to help her, and all the other women who haven’t been freed, whether by their own efforts, or with help… there are too many sisters, daughters, and children still being held in slavery, and it has to stop!….

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  3. This writing is so raw and because I know it is speaking truth it is totally devastating. Ever since I began reading your blog and stella Mars…I have been changed. I will never ever see prostitution in the same way. please keep writing…I hope that through the spoken word this truth will get out. That we have modern day slavery going on in our front years!! I feel like I have been blind..and I had been.It is just too horrible to imagine that this happens to women today.
    I applaud your strength even though you feel you often do not have any. You words are powerful.

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  4. Dear Rebecca, I know all the stereotypes you are describing. In Denmark we to also have the condom/coffee brigade who thinks that a condom and a pamphlet, which describe how to deal and avoid the police is all the help you need against pimps and violent punters. The pamphlet is preventing the women to go to the police if they are trafficked, because the police in her pamphlets are the bad guys, who is asking questions if you are a trafficked woman from east europe or Nigeria and then removing you from the streets and the pimps/traffickers. Guess who she thinks are the bad and good guys here. The bad guys are the police.

    Not a word how to help the women against the traffickers or the violent punters. In Denmark the coffee/condom brigade is a woman who calls her self the street lawyer and she is working together with the brothel owners and the punters to legalise prostitution.
    Actually it is her who is managing the Danish prostitution organization’s (SIO) membership records. And SIO is of course controlled by brotheowners and people, who thinks that prostitution is a real good and normal work for women and that pimping should be legal. Nice isn’t it 🙂

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  5. Indeed:
    Could it be the condom is more for the punter – so he gets no “nasty” diseases as he make the choice to paid to rape.

    And more important, it may keep hidden if he a regular rapist of the prostituted – for he does give his partner any sexual diseases.

    Condoms are great for sex trade profiteers – for his goods do have the inconvenient of being ill or getting pregnant.

    But the coffee and condom brigade often live in a fantasy world.
    Loads of love xoxoxo

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  6. Thanks for sharing this, Rebecca. It’s so very true that “Most punters pay to do sex that they believed “real” women would not do.” I was also deep throated and did anal sex. I agree that the punters don’t care about us getting ill or getting pregnant, because we are “non-persons” as you said.

    I’ve only recently started asking if maybe not all men want those gross things. I’ve been deathly afraid of getting married in case the guy I marry desires all the things that all the others desired from me. It’s only recently that it clicked that it’s perverted, not normal. It’s totally perverted – those sex acts that they always said, “my wife won’t do this for me. My girlfriend won’t do this. That’s why I’m paying for it.” Makes sense.

    I’m praying for your continued healing, continued boldness in sharing the truth about prostitution. I love your courage! Your blog is perfect for creating awareness and counter-acting all the misinformation and assumptions out there.

    P.S. This is great news I just discovered today! A pimp got sentenced to 50 years in prison!!!!!!! Hopefully this makes your day, as it did mine 🙂 Love you!

    http://www.fox40.com/news/nationworld/chi-convicted-pimp-datqunn-sawyer-gets-50-years-in-prison-20120405,0,1693939.story

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  7. “Great title, succinctly effective post. Reminds me why peer counseling is so important despite the best intentions of non-survivors.”

    Yes, to both parts of your comment.

    And honestly, rebecca, I think there are members of the C&C brigade really *do* believe prostitution is “just sex,” so what’s the big deal??? I think they genuinely feel that they are doing *something* to help prostituted women. But as you say, they are just putting their energy into keeping the rape culture going.

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  8. Pingback: “Sex workers should not carry guns” and more gems from harm-reduction advocates « Feminism: The Liberation Movement of Womyn

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