I was made by my personal experiences of living inside torture.
I was made by neglect.
I was made by incest.
I was made by knowing what hard-porn is.
I was made by date rapes
I was made by being a runaway from far too young.
I was made by being under-aged as a prostitute.
I was made by gang-rapes.
I was made by being filmed as punters sadistically raped me.
I was made by punters coming from all backgrounds, all cultures, all classes – and all making me sub-human.
I was made by being under-paid or not paid.
I was made by being over-paid and knowing the more money the worse the violence, the longer I would be owned.
I was made as went through the hell of being their “girlfriend experience”
I was made as anal rape became my norm.
I was made as I choke to almost death by copying “Deep Throat”.
I was made as cut myself and took over-doses without feeling anything.
I was made as I was able to block out all pain, all anger, all confusion and all despair – and become the Happy Hooker.
I was made as I could not feel or let myself know as friends who were prostituted disappeared, and my heart screamed some had been murdered.
I was made as my managers/pimps control me by punishment of sending to more sadism, or letting their “friends” rape me for free.
I was made as I imagine killing punters or pimps, but stopped coz I had no strength left, or knew it was pointless for the violence would stop coz one man was dead.
Yes – male violence made me, yes it is highly political to me.
It made me who I am now.
It made my rage that has no end until there is full justice for all the prostituted.
A rage that men have built a world where the prostituted are brought and sold for something as unimportant as the male orgasm.
A rage that it is made normal and invisible the millions of prostituted women and girls being sadistically tortured mentally, physically and sexually as you read these few words.
A rage that hard-core is called entertainment.
A rage that porn only matters when it affects everyone but the women inside the porn – they are made too sub-human to matter.
A rage that academics, some feminists, Leftists, religious fundamentalists, politicians and others make out the prostituted are never truly damaged, for everything that happens to then is because they place themselves in the line of danger.
A rage that the prostituted cannot be raped or hurt, for being goods nothing can hurt them.
A rage that so many ignore that the only real choices in the sex trade – are the choices of the men that buy and sell the prostituted class.
This rage is burning down the world that so callous and complacent to all my Sisters in the prostituted class.
This rage is highly political as it slashes and burns a road towards full abolition of the sex trade and its allies.
It made the deep grief that fuels my understanding of my political.
It the political of the radical exited prostituted women, who must have the freedom to name and shame all that buys the lies and myths of the sex trade.
This grief makes me hold up the Left and it blind following of the words of sex trade propaganda.
This grief sees and know that much of the language of sex trade profiteers.
This grief sees men like Larry Flynt and Hugh Hefner would view themselves as heroes of the Left.
This grief holds in despair that there free speech for sex trade profiteers, but the voices of the prostituted is silenced or ripped away.
This grief sees the Left abandon the women and girls inside the sex trade as they refuse to see it as torture, as a human rights issue – but instead frame it as choice and work.
This grief hears and sees the Left condemn the Right for using the prostituted – but make men of the Left who torture prostitutes, who consume hard-core porn invisible – the Left often makes these men into heroes.
This grief makes me hold up liberal feminism.
This grief hears and cannot bears feminists who use the language empowerment, consent, choice, sex work, and the sacred whore when speaking of what it is to be inside the sex trade.
This grief will scream at all those feminists who give the prostituted names of goddesses.
This grief cannot be in the room as it spoken over and over and over that the real harms of porn is how it affect children and women who partners consumed porn – with no interest of the women inside porn.
This grief goes into overload when hearing for the million how the prostituted or women in porn don’t feel or mind the pain as “real” would.
This grief wants to hide as I hear it explain by so-called feminists how the prostituted are different from other females – they have a higher libido, they don’t have shame or need for dignity, oh why say it prostituted were born for nothing but to living porn-toys for men.
This grief does want to believe but hears – women saying how the prostituted are needed to prevent real rape and sadism to women and girls.
My grief feeds my politics – but it so isolating.
I will always fight – but it be good for more of the non-prostituted to break down the lies and myths of the sex trade, not leave to just exited women.
We speak our truths as we sit with trauma.
We cannot not stop fighting and struggling towards full abolition.
For once you have seen you have been a slave, and had your human rights stolen from you – you cannot live quiet until all the prostituted slaves are free.
But our allies must stand strong with, make the human rights of all the prostituted central in your life.
Speak out each time you can to the constant lies spread of what it is to be inside the sex trade.
When with an exited woman, do no speak over, through or for her – but be humble enough to listen and hear even as she is discovering words to fit her reality.
Do not put the prostituted into the many boxes that the sex trade places them in.
Know all the prostituted class have no access to a life of safety, all the prostituted are made sub-human, all the prostituted have their authentic voices silenced, all the prostituted are stripped of their past and expected to have no future.
That is all the prostituted class is the class of the slave and the sub-human.
So fight for all the prostituted – do not pick and choose, for then you may as well do the work of the sex trade profiteers.