It is Not Your Right

It is not a human right that men can pay for sex.

It is not a human right that men can have sex on demand, and use paying money or exchanging gifts as a way making consent disappear.

It is a terrible man-made myth that we even need to have a prostituted class.

All it does is make a class of mainly women and girls into the unrapeable, into goods that have no rights to be human as they made fuck-machines.

All it does is to make the prostituted into objects that are used up and thrown away.

It is not a human right to pick and choose your porn, your prostitutes the way you pick and choose different favours of ice-cream.

It not a human right to have access to the sex trade through the net, down the phone, driving pass in your car, entering any “gentlemen’s” club.

It not a human right to end a Friday or Saturday night by fucking a whore.

All that does is destroys any connection you have to being a human.

All you left with is hate, the want and need to dominate and use more extreme sexual violence.

It is horrific myth that the sex trade can help you to communicate or find a route to your own humanity.

You become the slave-owner each time you buy another human for your sexual greed.

Buy into the sex trade, and you are being poisoned by their hate, their desire to destroy all the prostituted.

Buy into the sex trade, and you are buying into pure evil.

Look at yourself – face your own denial.

I heard over and over and over punters and consumers saying they were doing no harm, saying the prostituted were only there coz they wanted to be there, saying it is just a service.

Bullshit.

If you choose to believe those lies, then you have lost your route back to humanity.

You are paying for your right to rape without any consequences, you are paying to torture and re-branding that as entertainment, you are paying to know if you kill the whore the body will disappear and you act  like nothing happened.

Is that what you mean by it is doing no harm?

Of course, it is easy to imagine the prostitute must choose her lifestyle – easy if you choose to ignore the pimps controlling her, easy if don’t see bruises or track-marks on her, easy if you ignore she is under-aged, easy to ignore she is locked in, easy to ignore she may speak the language of the country you are in, easy to say to yourself she is paid well and ignore her dead eyes.

Ignore all that, and you can imagine she is happy and you that mythical good punter.

A service!!

What I say, is a service to be nothing but holes and hands, is it a service to ignore all human pain and put you body into deep danger, is it a service to smile as sexual torture becomes your norm.

How dare any man think he has the right to demand such a service?

The sex trade will only end when men wake up and realise it not a human right to demand to have a prostituted class.

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22 responses to “It is Not Your Right

  1. Pingback: https://rmott62.wordpress.com/2013/01/28/it-is-not-your-right/ | Social Consciousness

  2. I have made the choice to delete all comments connected to a well organised approach to spread propaganda of the sex trade. This is my blog, it my choice what I publish.

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  3. Why do they need to come here with their propaganda? They’ve got their own blogs to publish on if they have something to say.

    Men seem to believe that they have human rights to take over women’s human rights. That must change.

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  4. As a current working girl who is not ready to ‘exit’ I would like to comment on your take on this industry, and hope you allow my comments to stay.

    I am aware of the two sides of this coin. On the one hand there are those who say we are all exploited whether or not we choose to do this of our own free will, and by the action of selling our bodies we are becoming damaged mentally, and also by selling our bodies we are supporting a subculture of those who are trafficked.

    I am aware of those who shout from the rooftops that we do this of our own accord and should be allowed to do so. I can support both arguments. I just wish people would bend a little and accept the situation of ‘the other person’ and not assume that because something was good or bad for them that it should be this way for all.

    This world is not fair and not equal. There will always be poverty, and cruelty – you read about it every day in the news – shocking stories that rock you to the core, but I am an individual, independent, free thinking woman who works for a living – admittedly not so much these days, but still working because I want to.

    I am sorry you feel damaged by your choice of work in the past, but it’s not my experience – however, I hear you, and understand what you are saying and know there are other ladies in the same position as yourself. It’s just not the case for all.

    There are some working ladies who work ‘behind the scenes’. Ladies who do not shout from the rooftops that they are ambassadors for women while at the same time announcing they are available for work this week. I have no time for those self serving touts and feel they do the industry no favours at all.

    We all know there are trafficked girls working – but – if we ladies who do this because we want to – were stopped from working, do you think the traffickers would also stop?

    I have no propaganda. I am just a woman doing what I want to do, and have no wish to silence you. This is your experience and you should be allowed to shout it out, but while you do – spare a thought for ladies like me who are happy in their work.

    Best wishes

    Sarah

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  5. This post is not about individual prostituted women’s “choices” which are mainly very limited. It is about the men who make the choice to buy and sell the prostituted.
    It is not individual prostituted women, including the minority who can choose and have limited male violence done to them. For it is a post about how violence is created by the buyers and sellers of the prostituted.
    There is no true safe space for the prostituted, there is type of prostitution where male violence does not exist. This is because the punter at any time or place can do any violence he wishes – it is always his choice whether he will violent or not.
    It should be remembered that prostituted women and girls are 18 times more likely to die from male violence than any other section of females. Most murders of the prostituted are done indoors, whether she was a street prostituted or did indoors prostitution.
    The major difference between the violence on the streets and when indoors – is very simple, on the street it may be visible to the public gaze, whilst violence in indoors is made invisible and usually made to disappear.

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  6. Thanks for your response. The thing is… it is not my experience. I have seen dickhead clients, but none of them were violent. It was more a matter of poor hygiene which in itself is a violent thing 🙂 and stalking………….. I have had more than my share of that – where because of the way I work boundaries were blurred and trampled over, but then that was down to me also since I allowed them to push the boundaries and did not stop them before they got too carried away

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  7. I am sorry that you have been stalked, which is mental violence, and often turns into physical violence. I know when I was prostituted, I lessened the violence done to me, for to know that i had no control over how I was used, it is normal when embedded in prostitution. Being stalked is rarely about getting your boundaries blurred, but it is normal to feel that way. I have stalked, and felt it was my fault for being too nice. Stalking is about power and control for the stalker, he wants to owned you.

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  8. I don’t think he wanted to own me, but he certainly wanted to own a part of me whilst still enjoying the benefits of being married to someone else.
    He never thought for one moment that our ‘relationship’ ended when the door to my flat was closed. The boundaries were trampled over because we emailed between visits, and I chatted to him about personal stuff (as you do with a regular client) It was because of this that he thought he had rights over me that no other punter had.
    I blame myself for this, and have learned a lesson from it.

    As an aside, and I feel it is important to press this point home – not all punters are like this. My experience of this work is that I have met some delightful men – gentle and kind, and caring. Some men are lonely and this to them is the only way they can get close and personal with a woman. It may be that they perceive themselves as unattractive, or that they are awfully shy. I find men like this to be a sheer delight to see.

    Understand me – I do hear what you are saying, but your experience of prostitution is not universal.

    x x

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  9. As I said before it not about the individual prostituted woman, it is about that no man has the right to buy and sell another human for his sexual greed.
    Of course not all punters are violent – but this does not make the structure of prostitution acceptable and i will always fight for abolition. This is because punters always hold over all the prostituted that can be violent at any time or place. Just because some punters may make the choice to be non-violent, it does take away that they think they are entitled to own another human for his sexual wants and greed.
    As for some punters being lonely, well that is just part of being a human. Being lonely does give anyone the right to buy another human being.
    Human can live without sex – it only the sex trade that creates the myth that or male sex is some kind of human right, like access to water, shelter and living in safety. Sex is fun and good but it not a human right – especially when it comes to the buying and selling of the prostituted class.

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  10. ‘no man has the right to buy and sell another human for his sexual greed’ – this is what it comes down to. By making it about the choice of the woman in prostitution we’re putting the responsibility of the punter onto the woman – if she’s ok with it, then what he’s doing is ok (unless he’s overtly violent – though even what that means within prostitution becomes ambiguous). But it’s about his choice, and his choice to buy access to a woman’s body is never justifiable. What gives him that right? Why would someone even dream of doing that to another person?

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  11. It is justifiable if the woman he wants to see chooses to market herself. Supply and demand is an age old thing. I am not talking about trafficked women here – just those of us who want to do this, and some of us do x

    While there is one woman being made to do this against her will then I will never promote what I do in a public way. I work quietly and mind my own business, but strangely feel the need to justify my own existence as a woman and as a prostitute.

    If I do anything to help any cause – it is done in a quiet non attention seeking way x

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  12. @Sarah Summers –

    Try to understand that abolitonists, especially as deeply as Rebecca has been wounded, cannot see anything but nightmares, we cannot see any possibility around the horrors we survived. Rebecca (and I and others) will never agree – we are so far past a place where our agreement is anything but a survival mechanism we show to clients when that’s what they want to see.

    But we will never ever judge those currently in. As far as we are concerned you’re the V-m of a crime, through no fault of your eyes. We demand decriminalization of sex work providers and fully comprehensive support services including advocacy, mental health care and counselling and comprehensive support for women who wish to transition safely out. ❤

    It's your safety, your well-being, your health, your life – these are the only things that matter. I bet we would both let every perp in the world (to us, they're all monsters) walk to spare you what we lived through.

    To me, I hear what you say and hear myself, back at that time time in my life. I think of it now as the gilded cage, because that's what it was for me. A garden prison of lies and demands and pain all painted over and pretty. I hope your situation is not like mine. (But if it is – your secret is safe with me. <3)

    Rebecca was nowhere near as fortunate as I was. And I will never be safe. The only conclusion I can draw is, you have had the very best of luck and I hope for all our sakes your luck holds out.

    Please, be safe ❤

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  13. Thanks for your response. I am sorry some ladies do not have good stories of their time as working girls.
    For me – I realise that in putting myself out there, I invite every weirdo and nutjob to come and see me as well as the decent guys, and this is my bit of sanity here – there are decent guys. I have seen lots and lots of them. I have regular clients who are the loveliest of people. Most of them have a family, but no joy in their personal life with their respective partners.
    I know there are some women who through no fault of their own – call it biology as a broad sweep of the subject – will not ever want to sleep with their partner unless they want to make a baby, and then when the babies are made the sex is taboo.
    Is it fair to expect this decent man who loves his wife and his children to never have sex again. This joyful union of two people denied to him because she will not entertain even the thought of it.
    Consider the man whose wife is ill. I have a good friend and his wife has early alzheimers. She is declining fast and they have no joyful union any more. I do not know what he does because he is a friend only, but I do know that I see men in this position – men who have had their sex life taken from them because of a circumstance and not for any other reason.
    It is men like this who I tend to see, and all they want to do is be with a woman and feel loved for a short while. This is my pleasure.

    I see men who would not see me if things were okay at home. They see me because they do not want to be serviced. They can do that for themselves in the shower. They need the closeness and the intimacy they used to have within their marriage, and I provide this.

    The weirdos? yeah……. I know The guys who would see a trafficked girl and not care? yeah… The guy who simply wants to ’empty his sack’… sometimes, but in the main I see nice men with a need, and I am happy to fulfill that need.
    My point is I do it willingly, and recognise the vulnerable client as well as the horrible one, but then don’t you think the world is full of good and bad people. I find most people in life are good.
    The worst people for me in this industry are those who self serve, and pretend to champion the prostitute when in fact they are only fuelling a need to self advertise under the pretence of helping others.
    One day I will retire from this and then iI can step up a gear and become more supportive of the girl who is not in my fortunate position, but until then I will work quietly and observe the rest. x

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  14. “I know there are some women who through no fault of their own – call it biology as a broad sweep of the subject – will not ever want to sleep with their partner unless they want to make a baby, and then when the babies are made the sex is taboo.”

    Hold on, are you justifying helping men cheat? I can understand the other circumstances but being an accomplice in this way is hardly woman-positive. If he isn’t happy with the situation at home and she doesn’t know about his sexual exploits, he should leave her rather than be dishonest and cheat.

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  15. No, I am not justifying anything, I am showing an understanding of another’s situation is all. Tell me, what is a man – a loving husband, expected to do when his wife refuses to make love any more. Should this man be expected to remain celibate for the rest of his life? Finding sex outside of the marriage is not being unfaithful when there is no sex within that marriage.

    I am not talking from a work point of view here – more a humanitarian stance.

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  16. Pingback: It is Not Your Right | SCANDALE PROSTITUTION PO...

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