Punters are everywhere – and they are constantly made nowhere.
All conversation, research and debate on prostitution is mainly focus on the prostituted – no-one pay attention to the way men make the choice to buy the prostituted.
There is little or no interest in who these men are – unless it is the sex trade lobby to say they are lonely, disabled, men who must have sex, men we should feel sorry for.
We don’t speak of these men in fear that they are men we know and love.
Well, listen and truly hear exited women, and you will find the majority of punters are very ordinary, yes, they are more than likely men you know well and may love.
Punters are not monsters – well not in the world outside of buying another human for their sexual greed.
Punters are every man from every background, disabled or not, from all classes, any ethnicity, old or young, violent or thinks he’s a gentle man, unemployed or all jobs there is, all political backgrounds – and on and on and on.
There is no stereotype of who the punter is – only he is a man who thinks his the god-given right to buy a prostitute to control, own and ultimately destroyed.
Punters are invisible because they are so ordinary.
Another major reason punters are made invisible is that the majority of the violence done to the prostituted is also made invisible.
There is a myth that men who are violent to the prostituted will be spotted for they will be violent to the non-prostituted.
This is rarely true – most punters keep the violence for the prostituted class, they place inside the box of the sex trade and are non-violent to those outside that box.
The hate and violence done to the prostituted is made ordinary as long it keep inside that box – it is only seen as a problem when it may or does spread to the non-prostituted.
Look at the normal debate about the harms of porn – it is normal the concern is how it affects children and teenagers, it is normal it is seen as bad for it is fake sex – there is little or no interest in that porn is violent to the women inside the porn, that it is destroying their bodies and their minds.
It is believed by too many that we need a class of the prostituted, for it may prevent real rape done to real women and girls.
Does that sentence offend you? Are you thinking I would never think that.
Well, each time you choose to not see, not know and not confront that men you know are buying women and girls, you are part of that false belief.
Look and truly see men you work with, men you socialise with, men who are family, men you may sleep with.
See that any one of them could be a punter.
It cannot be a tiny minority of men in any society or culture.
Think that prostitution when it is made acceptable or legal, will be in a country where there will thousands of prostituted women and girls.
Think the majority of the prostituted will start young and be inside the sex trade for several years.
Think that it is rare that a prostitute has regular, most have the minimum of five punters a week up too many for the mind to know.
How can it the minority of men demanding a prostitute – it makes no logical sense. Simple maths will tell you that is rubbish.
So, whether you like it or no, you will know a punter or some punters – and you will think they are the sort of men that would never do that.
I have been in social events, in pubs, at parties – where I seen punters who treated me as dirt, punters who enjoy torturing the prostituted – and seen how ordinary they are, seen as kind and friendly they are outside of prostitution.
I know most punters become invisible because they are able to put all their violence into the prostituted, and then get on with their lives as if nothing important has happened.
For by making prostitution normal, we have made a culture said that violence is nothing, if anything just male leisure.
Look at the violence done to prostituted all the time.
See that our murders only are made to count if done in a mass. That our murders are not recorded, not made into statistics, we are just thrown away.
We heard about deaths from domestic violence, we record women and girl raped and murdered – but we have no memory for the prostituted who are murdered off the scale.
Only on occasion it may remember that prostituted women and girls are 18 times more likely to be murdered than any other group of women and girls.
We speak to rape when it done by acquaintances, by family, by partners, by close friends.
We gather round the raped and incested, and give sympathy and listen with an open mind.
It is considered if a woman has raped by more than ten men in her life.
But the prostituted class are forced out of the support given to rape survivors.
We have been raped by hundreds if not thousands of punters – but it appear the more rapists have conquer us, the more invisible that violence is made.
There is beginning to be concern about rape as a weapon of war – but there is no closing down of brothels, and other forms of prostitution in war zones.
To be prostituted, is to know you have little or no sympathy, understanding or interest in that you are living with extreme violence as your norm.
It is invisible violence done by invisible men in a society that firmly turns away.