After my last post, I thought I would some of what the punters who used me demanded or expected.
The important reason I have decided to do this – is because in the world of the sex trade there is nothing unusual or in particular horrific about happened to me.
In many ways, I was one of the lucky prostitute – I was never pimped out, I was not locked inside a brothel, I did not work on the streets, and I was not murdered or committed suicide.
I was also lucky – because I am a white Northern European, I come from an upper-middle class background, I had a mind that could fast into other places.
I always know far too many of the prostituted class are and were in far worse conditions than I was.
I believe I became a blogger because I wanted to part of freeing all the prostituted, not to tell my individual past.
But, I will use my past as an example – for in many I fitted the framing of the prostitute who “choose” her lifestyle.
After all, I would have screamed at you that I was fine, would have yelled out how great it to use men, would have put the costume of the Happy Hooker.
I would do that and too many of you would not bother to see behind my facade.
What do see when you decide to make a prostitute into a Happy Hooker?
Do you choose to forget that the vast majority of the prostituted enter when they were under-aged?
Do write out all previous sexual, mental or physical done to the prostitute before you meet her?
Do you not think of what it like to be sex-toy to endless punters who can whatever they want?
Or by deciding to only see the face-value of your Happy Hooker, do you decide she can have no past, decide her future is unimportant – for to have your Happy Hooker, you have made her sub-human.
I would say I was fine – but that was the only language that I knew.
I spoke directly into the language of punters and sex trade profiteers – my authentic words were closed away from me.
But, the point of this point, the purpose of prostitution – is that it does not matter whether I choose to be a prostitute or not, it does not matter whether I thought I was in control or not, and it does not matter whether it decided I was in a safe aspect of the sex trade or not.
All of that is of no relevant when a punter brought or owned me – for no punter care why a prostitute is a prostitute, only that she fulfilled his porn-dreams.
Punters are buying goods, and believe they should get their money worth, that is all they really care about.
Don’t fool yourself there is some kind of emotional connection between the punter and the prostitute.
Don’t imagine that punters coincidentally harm the prostitute – know punters pre-plan their sex acts and will often give the prostitute no choice even as she in danger or deeply degraded.
I when was prostituted did not know the language of no, had no access to the meaning of consent – for in my heart I knew I was not human enough to have safety or to be rapable.
That is the dark heart of who punters are, whether they are gentle or sadist, whether they talk too much or join in with silent gang-raping, whether they considered themselves the good guys or enjoy slow torturing of whores – all know it is impossible to rape a prostitute or do any real harm to her.
Punters know he is doing nothing to nothing.
That is why most of the punters who torture me usually over many hours – could just finish, get dressed and walk into the “real” world looking as if nothing of any importance had happened.
For nothing of importance had happened – they had just consumed goods and now they can be invisible.
I lost memory of how many times I was made unconscious because of the sadism of punters – all I remember is their anger that I was “sleeping” on the job.
I know punters enjoy forcing fear into the prostituted, it is a game to them.
The game is made because most prostitutes survive by blocking off all emotions, by being as dead as possible.
So punters want fear coz it is a forced emotion, it makes the prostitute vulnerable, it makes her feels she has betrayed herself by showing she is alive.
It is the same with orgasms, punters pushed and pushed the prostitute to collapse in real orgasms, knowing it betrayal she hates.
Luckily, orgasms are easy to fake, and most punters are so egotistical that they can be fooled they are sex gods, and given her multiple orgasms – fake orgasms can make quicker and less painful on occasions.
The thing that sickened me about most punters that buy escorts or other forms of indoors prostitution – is how much ego those men have.
They want to believe they are “special” to the prostitute, that their sexual demands are unique or somehow exotic, that the prostitutes respects him.
Many punters were disgusted there was outward signs that other men had used me – even those they had made the conscious choice to buy a prostitute.
Many punters, especially when I looked like to imagine they were breaking me in – it was a huge turn-on.
I could act the “innocent” whore, coz it made slightly more money – but I can never repair the damage it did to my psyche.
The most important to know about doing indoors prostitution is it mostly an environment where the prostitute has no control or power.
Each time you are alone with a punter or punters, it is always the chooses of those men that will lead how the prostitute is treated.
The punter can do whatever he wants to the prostitute behind firmly closed doors – there is no interference or care if harm is done to the prostitute.
This would be called slavery if it was not inside the sex trade.
Please focus on the punters – stop protecting them.