I am going to be on Radio 4 on the 7th of May.
I am more than excited, I feel it is very surreal and somewhere deep inside I am very proud.
Radio 4 is a huge part of my strength and ability to survive, especially when most of my access to hope was being torn from me.
Radio 4 was stable, Radio 4 was a sister/friend/mother in my heart, Radio 4 give a reason to live if only to hear “The Archers”.
So for me to have the fortune to be on Radio 4 is a dream come true.
I cannot express how much TV and radio is a life-saver for me, and how I will always back the BBC.
To wander round World Service, and see all the countries that tune in, heard the range of language – and I was walking with my heart brimming.
If all the BBC does is the World Service, then I know my licence is being well used.
As I walk round the BBC, seeing Dajaks, the news getting made, seeing all the work on radio shows, seeing the orchestra space and the so many studios – I knew I was happy.
Happy is not an emotion I am used to – it feels surreal and that any second something will happen.
I am learning to be happy, and not to expect disaster round the corner.
I was asked to write a talk about my work. I was asked to make the speech personal and about abolishment of prostitution.
I will put up the talk after it is aired on the radio, but I want to write about how positive the BBC were.
I want to write that my experience was and is a powerful moment for me, and may be part of change that is much larger than me and my words.
I was told my talk was groundbreaking, that it was speaking to and with the voices of the silenced.
I had some degree of apology that the BBC is so influenced by the sex trade lobby, and acknowledge of their ignorance and lazy journalism.
Although some of my more graphic language was cut – there was no hiding that prostitution involves torture and must be framed as a human rights issue.
The BBC were brave enough to let my talk be about questioning of attitudes to the prostituted, be about what it is to be inside the body of the prostituted.
It was a talk that was heard in respectful silence, and received without dismissal or hate.
I spoke my talk with a calmness that was almost out of my body.
I spoke to my words with clarity and deep ownership.
When questions were asked, they were all tainted by the propaganda of the sex trade.
I answered with directness, with a quiet rage, I spoke to confront the myths inside the questions.
I am proud – but the recording was strange, for I could believe I could so calm.
I performed well.
I will spread the word when it goes out – hope you all can listen. It will be on a podcast, so no excuses.