SOS

I have been seeing some support around trolls writing mental violence to many radical feminists, or even women who just speak their mind.

It is horrific that there is such silencing of women, but it is wonderful that it has got good women and a few men to give support and plan actions.

There is a sisterhood for many women attacked on the net – but is that sisterhood willing to reach out to exited women when they are under constant attack.

Sadly, it appears highly unlikely, or only there if it is easy or about signing petitions or clicking “like”.

There is little or no rallying round when violence and hate to exited women becomes all too real.

Where is the sisterhood when it comes to standing to pimp/punter- thinking?

Where is the sisterhood when exited women speaks out about physical attacks from the sex trade lobby?

And would the sisterhood honoured our deaths if the sex trade did make us disappear or commit suicide or just murder us in a casual way?

I know many of you reading this, will be saying to yourself “I would never abandoned exited women”.

But please tell what you do of practical help when exited women are persecuted by the sex trade lobby.

This is an SOS, for this is beyond an emergency.

This is a time for action not clicking like, not just reading our words, not just signing petitions.

It is a time to be uncomfortable and fully face the reality of being an exited woman.

I have very lucky, for I have escaped almost entirely connections with the punters and profiteers who used.

This luck gives me the privilege to see the constant attacks on my exited Sisters with a degree of detachment, and deep heartache.

I am lucky that the vast majority of attacks done to me on a “personal” level, are done by parts of the sex trade lobby that will not bother to track me down in person, just send generalised hate through the net.

I am lucky I do not feel under physical threat – but for the seven years that I have been open about being exited and an abolitionist, the mental violence is background noise.

I know this mental violence is not done by trolls who never seemed to leave their computer seats – it is highly organised by the sex trade lobby.

This means it will be relentless, seeing as it has endless funds and many willing people to do their dirty work.

This is not just about silencing exited women, it is much more sinister than that.

It is about annihilating all the prostituted, and making sure there is no record of our protest.

This has always been how the sex trade lobby has dealt with exited women who become abolitionists.

There is a long and brave history of exited women attempting to speak truth to power – it is more than likely as long as women have been enslaved in the sex trade.

But the history of prostitution is re-written by the sex trade lobby every generation. The voices of all those brave exited women is throw into the trash.

But each and every exited carries that history of rebellion forward, we refused to be silenced despite knowing the force of our enemy.

We know their weapons – we know they think nothing of torturing us back into submission, we know they make gas-lighting into an art form, we know they would rape back into being sub-human, and we know they would kill us without any conscious.

But we still stand tall – so where is our support or actions to protect us?

I know that many of my exited Sisters live the fear and background noise of pimps and punters knowing where they live, where their children or other loved one are – or are trying to track down information to stalk them.

This is no computer threat, through the knowledge is gained through the computer – this is simple physical threat, threat of real crime, threat that all about making us sub-human.

Sometimes, the threat is just keep on the mental level, by constant stalking or sending hate through the computer.

But the reality of physical attacks, or forcing us back into the sex trade, is always a reality.

Many amazing exited women have been so terrified and persecuted that they have stop writing, stop speaking out, left all social networks and go back to isolation.

These are women who voices are powerful and needed for abolition to go forward.

I want more anger at the war against exited women – for otherwise is can appear that we are not fully human, so we should stop moaning and just cope with it.

 

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8 responses to “SOS

  1. I can understand how it must be a tremendous struggle for women to exit prostitution and to speak out about the injustices being perpetrated towards them. There are many women surviving all kinds of abuses and violence that are silenced because of the fear of punishment – and yes, this can sometimes be fatal. You are an inspiring example to women and I hope that you continue to tell your story so other women see that it is possible to free themselves from their torturous existences. It is important to get professional help and there are some agencies now to help women make changes but we need many more. Also, I think it is key to build supportive networks so that we can stay strong together, talk to each other regularly about our safety plans, and have a strategy for when we come under attack. Maybe you could start a charity or an online support group as you have the motivation and commitment and would be inspirational to other women. It is a hard road escaping any kind of violence – with many challenges – but it is always worth persevering with so that we can live free of it and see that life can be good – for ourselves and those following us.

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  2. Reblogged this on eachone and commented:
    We are scapegoats. While all women live with the impact of what prostituting us does, prostituted women also used (in vain)to deflect male violence from the non-prostituted. These women don’t want this for us, but they can, as a psychological defense, separate us as “other” than themselves. As Dworkin put it, to not do so makes the fear of what happens to women “palpable” and thus something most people want to avoid feeling. When we really can not separate ourselves from another’s suffering, and we know these vile men who buy and sells some women would buy and sell all- that is a horrible reality to really know. But we need these voices. We need these voices so badly.

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  3. Reblogged. With this comment :
    We are scapegoats. While all women live with the impact of what prostituting us does, prostituted are women also used (in vain) to deflect male violence from the non-prostituted. These women don’t want this for us, but they can, as a psychological defense, separate us as “other” than themselves. As Dworkin put it, to not do so makes the fear of what happens to women “palpable” and thus something most people want to avoid feeling. When we really can not separate ourselves from another’s suffering, and we know these vile men who buy and sells some women would buy and sell all- that is a horrible reality to really know. But we need these voices. We need these voices so badly.”
    Thank you again Rebecca.

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  4. Yes, all women can be on receiving end of male violence, but the vast majority are not abused on an industrial scale, and made sub-human. I am working every day to build up more support for exited women, and long-term exiting programmes for those who need to exit, but it is very hard.

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  5. Sorry Rebecca, I don’t mean to diminish what happens to prostituted women – I realise that it is horrific and that the violence, and effects and threats of violence continue for exited women. I do see many similarities for survivors of domestic violence, however, especially when they have lost their children as a result of being with an abuser or managing to escape an abuser. This is my area of research and I often see the similarities between what you write about and what survivors/mothers say. The processes that lead to these separations commonly make mothers apart from their children feel sub-human when they lose their identities and are assessed and labelled and then lose all support or help with violence and abuse because they no longer have their children with them. I accept, however, that it this is not happening to women on the ‘industrial scale’ as you describe when women are treated as commodities. I was just noticing the similarities rather than the differences. I am interested in what spin 345 says about how women use the psychological defence of separating themselves from the ‘other’. This is exactly what professionals in my research have been telling me happens when they speak to survivors/mothers apart in order to protect themselves from having to feel what it must be like to lose your children as a consequence of being in a violent relationship. By the way, I have identified women vulnerable to sexual exploitation as one of the situations that women can be in when they become separated from their children and know that many prostituted/exited women have to deal with this also. I will have to read what Dworkin said. Thank you.

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  6. I am always ready and willing to stand behind and up for exited women speaking out and have done so in the past when you (and others) have posted sources/sites that attack exited women, to the best of my ability. If you post the sources, I will go there to defend/support. I fully support abolition, and as someone who is serious about DEcolonization, I don’t put hope or energy into the colonist legal system, but from day one I have respected, defended and supported exited women speaking out, and always will, if it’s wanted. If you post the sources, I will come, and hopefully many others reading your work will too.

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  7. I hear you asking for help Rebecca and I have recently just quit my job. I am moving and will be living a simpler, less pressured lifestyle.
    I am letting you know I am available to assist you in any way you think I may be of help. Hit me up and don’t hesitate to ask if I can be of use.

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