I am very tired, tired of demand that I prove that it was real that I was prostituted, tired of the sex trade lobby looking for ways to destroy my truths.
I am tired of the constant demands for facts that they can and will pull apart piece by piece until nothing is left.
I am tired for the constant anger at my lack of statistics – even though this is a huge red herring, as they sex trade know and don’t that must statistics are owned and controlled by those who profit from the institution of prostitution.
Let’s be clear and honest about the history of prostitution – it not the voices of the vast majority of the prostituted, it is the voices and opinions of sex trade profiteers, punters and their allies.
When you look at the remains of brothel frescoes in Pompeii – all you seeing is advertisement for the brothel owners, and a menu of sexual goods for the punters.
When you imagine a Golden Age of temple whores and whore goddesses, you are thinking as a consumer not as the consumed.
When you read Fanny Hill as a joyful romp – you see through the eyes of the punter.
When you imagine that courtesan had power and died old or rich – you are ignoring history, to form an image of the Happy Hooker.
If you think being a geisha is powerful or even some kind of feminist statement, you have been brainwashed.
If you knew the real Happy Hooker saw the horror of brothels inside concentration camps – would you give damn?
And to now.
If you open the doors on a brothel in a Western country, like New Zealand, where it is decrimalised – would you really look inside or only see what you want to see.
Would you care if the women are named as girls, treated as sub-human goods who are disposable?
Would you give a damn if saw and knew that the prostituted in those brothels are expected to work longer and longer hours, and still never will earn enough to live on?
Would even noticed the dead eyes of the prostituted, see bruises or cuts, or noticed the constant demand for more and more sadist sex?
Or would just see what you want to see.
Will you decide that those prostituted must be happy and empowered – because in the small moment you see them, they say they are?
As you hear do you ignore the manager standing behind them?
Do you ignore that most doors are closed on you, as you refuse to imagine the sex can be violent or not fully chosen by the prostituted.
How do live in such denial, as so many of the prostituted are dying, being tortured or having to block out their reality to survive.
Your facts and statistics will full up your state of denial, and you invent the myth that indoors prostitution is full of empowered and rich prostituted women if it becomes decriminalised.
Your myth excludes at the minimum 98% of prostituted.
You exclude all women who were externally trafficked into those brothels.
You exclude any concepts of internal trafficked.
You exclude any idea that many adult prostitutes started under-aged.
You exclude indigenous women who become prostituted.
You exclude any previous sexual/mental/physical abuse being connected to being prostituted.
You exclude peer pressure or the pressure of patriarchy making all vulnerable think they are just sex objects.
And you exclude how the sex trade will invent many markets and then find the vulnerable women to fill it.
You may allow that economic pressure may push women into prostitution – but then you pretend it only on their own terms.
How can you lie so much to yourself – and then have the cheek to demand facts and statistics.
But it not just inside brothels where the prostituted suffer when doing indoors prostitution.
No, escorting and girlfriend is highly dangerous, as is working inside saunas parlours.
You ignore why it is so dangerous, and start inventing false reasons.
You say it is stigma – ignoring that being alone with a punter/punters never knowing if he will choose to be violent or not is a high risk.
You say the real violence is not the punters or sex trade profiteers, but the police – knowing that is bullshit, as punters/profiteers rape, torture and murder with a free rein.
In the end most so-called facts and statistics from the sex trade lobby are cruel lies to keep the prostituted, exited women and abolitionists in a state of silence.
Well, I am glad to say this silencing is not working – instead you stir a hornet’s nest.
Your lies and half-truths have made exited women tear down the history of prostitution being always the sound of punters and sex trade profiteers – as they speak loud and clear about why prostitution is torture, is slavery, is full of racism, is women-hating, is about destroying demand for the beginning of full justice and dignity for all the prostituted.
Our varied voices tear down you cold and hateful facts and statistics.
We hold our truths in our bodies, not just in pieces of paper or books.
We know our truths as we hold the ghosts of our friends or known ones who could live as the sex trade destroyed their beautiful lives.
We understand the language of torture and genocide through the pain and deep grief that our bodies carry.
You may say that just our story, just our biased opinion – anything to say that we must be liars or deluded.
But our body memories paint a vivid truth speaking to torture, male entitlement, the disappearances of too many of the prostituted, and to being raped by so many punters our mind survived by losing count.
Those are our facts and statistics – and to not hear them, is to have no heart.