Anger 

I have been struck and very sad.

My work is so hard, and I feel it endless.

I am angry, I am tired, I am feeling vulnerable, but more important I am fighter.

I am English, and my country is a scary place to speak about the realities of prostition – I am sure there is hardly any country where that fear is not known.

My anger is that even within the abolition movement, there is rarely space for exited women to speak to their realities – tell the realities of their prostitution, speak to why it not the same as other forms of violence to women, speak to who punters are.

How to make real change, if we are never allow to truly see and know what we we dealing with.

I want exited women to know it is ok to speak beyond the surface that fit our public voices.

I would love exited women who are writers, artists, film-makers, crafts women, and other ways of expressing their truths to go deeper.

We should not pretty up our pasts – but speak in the voices of being in that moment when a punter makes the choice to make you sub-human.

We should not always give our audiences neat and happy endings – but speak of the realities of trauma, speak to the lack of true justice, speak to knowing the reality of male entitlement and greed.

We should not make our realities into linear tales – when we may have fragmented and broken memories.

To speak to our truths, is to release emotions that we may want to be hidden.

We need to express anger – more it should become a white fury that strips bare the cold heart of the sex trade and it’s consumers. 

Always we tone down that anger, hoping we not be rejected or labelled as mentally ill.

But anger is a truth-seeker, anger is a way to liberation.

Anger is power.

We should express our fury at who punters really are.

Say that they consciously chose to make the prostituted sub-human, by serially raping us, by making us into living porn to torture, by murdering us knowing it is of no matter.

Say they are very ordinary men – usually in a stable relationship, often outwardly a decent bloke – who choose to tortur e and rape the prostituted.

I hate all punters, for they all could of made the choice never to buy another human for their sexual greed and desire to control.

But we are meant to tone that anger.

Not be angry that hundreds of punters made the choice to make my body have no safe space.

Not be angry that so many punters used me that I can never remember how many, never see individual faces or even remember where or when my hell was happening.

Not be angry these punters can just live a normal with no consequences or punishment.

Fuck that -I not angry, I am seething, I am furious – I will blow up if no allows the truths of being a tortured prostituted woman to be heard.

I would love other exited women who want to explore ways of getting our deeper truths to contact me, and maybe we  can ignite a revolution.

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3 responses to “Anger 

  1. so tough to read and experience your pain through words. I can’t even imagine what you have gone through, or any other woman in this position. sending you lots of support. hugs offered.

    Like

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