I have been brain dead, so writing is slipping from me.
I will try to write, to speak to the unsayable, to know the forced silence.
Writing is not a joy, it is my work and a mission to me.
Writing is pain, writing is grief, writing is knowing what I rather was hidden.
To understand this writing is find a route into part of the heart of being prostituted.
I speak to a silence of centuries, a silence of the gagged and meant to be unrapeable.
I speak to the silence of the millions of dead who never know freedom, humanity or simple dignity.
The dead are inside every line of this blog, reminding me never to give up or give in to the many lies of the sex trade lobby.
The dead remind of my sheer luck to have reach the age of 15, the fortune I had a 21st birthday – and the dead stare in amazement that I am into my fifties.
To know the prostitution, is to understand that those of us who the luck to exit are in the minority.
The majority of the prostituted never reach their 27th birthday – and those who live have extreme complex trauma, often with injuries or illness as a result of being made into a living porn-doll.
As an exited woman, I write knowing there is no true freedom from prostitution.
Complex trauma shadowed my daily life, I still live with pain of a body holding too many rapes/tortures for the mind to know.
Being exited is powerful, for exited women live alongside deep trauma but still are the strongest and most determined Abolitionists I know of.
When we seek heroes, turn round and see the exited women standing next to you.
Our fight is your fight – but our fight can be separatist as well.
The fight of exited women cannot be manag or overtaken by supporters, however well meaning.
For centuries, the multiple voices of have been silenced, controlled and translated by both allies and the sex trade promoters.
Now, those exited voices are determining to be heard.
Heard with no interpretations, heard without outside censorship, heard with both the mind and the gut.
Prostitution is a threat that silences every women – but not every woman can be in the skin of the prostituted.
Not every woman can know what is to be serially raped by multiple strange men.
Not every woman will be made into a porn-doll brought and sold in multiple locations.
Not every woman will survive by destroying all access to freedom, emotions, memory of an existence outside of being a rape toy.
Yes all women can know the taint of being called Whore, but not all women know the hell that is prostitution.
So listen and forefront the multiple of exited women if you truly want abolition of the sex trade.
We have wisdom to share, we just waiting for you to see our insight.