I am moving home from Manchester to Devon in a couple of months or so.
This is a major event for me, for it my choice, and for the first time in my life this move is not coz I have had to run away.
I am moving to get my mental and physical back on track.
I am moving to be have the good side of my family near me.
I can be a sister, an aunt and a friend to those who love me even when I test that love to it’s limits.
I want a big change, coz I gone as far as I go doing this work by myself.
I am tired of being isolated.
I am tired of just coping with extreme trauma.
I am tired.This change is very scary.
I have always lived and hidden in large cities, now I moving to a market town.
I am moving to a place where the residents are more visible to each, for instance shopping in Devon is slow for a city gal, for so many conversations are had.
I survived my life by keeping my head down, and fading into the background.
I need to learn it ok to chat with others, for it just a brief exchange, not a threat or a sign of vulnerability.
I want to make changes when I move, small changes that may bring the person I wanted to be if my youth had not been stolen.
I want to build on my love of popular culture, love of trivia and love of being in small moments that make a society.
I have always loved history and English literature, I want to find groups to feed that part of my brain.
I am obsessed with the joy of classic American films, not on the intellectual level, but for the stories and entertainment.
I want to go to sports events, say Plymouth Argyle, Somerset Cricket Club and Exeter for rugby.
As a child, I was a birdwatcher, as well badgers and foxes – maybe I can remember how to be that still.
I want to eat and drink out, and use that as a way to people watch and maybe chat. The pubs are great in Devon.
Mostly I want to be with my sister, who is the person who behind me in this move.
We have planned Wine Fridays, that she may teach me how to cook, and we will be in the same town but not in each other pockets.
I need to change, coz I more than the prostitution woman.
To do my work, I need many non-related things to do.
I am proud of this work, but it very draining and isolating.
So please know this move is scary but highly positive.