This post is very important to me, and is something I thinking about for round a year or so.
I live inside fragmented memory, and surrounded by parts of my family who cannot believe that I was prostituted.
These individuals are folks that love me deeply, and I love them too.
This has lead to having many questions and no answers about whether I prostituted or not.
This what I will try to explore in this post, and if you read this and feel I have let you down in any way, I am just trying to be honest.
I am very unclear about whether it was prostitution or not.
I know that many sadist men who did know me or even look me in the eye consume me and throw me away.
I did not have a pimp or pimps.
I was rarely paid or given much money.
I did not work in brothels or on the streets.
I was tortured in flats, hotel rooms and rooms above clubs or pubs.
Maybe it was my self-driving towards sadist men and dangerous places – maybe it was part of prostitution.
My fragmented gives me so little that is solid – just endless rooms, snapshots of endless forms of torturing, and a pain saying this is your truths.
I feel I want this blog to more general and less personal.
I may have to more distance.
This blogis not a diary, or poor me autobiography.
No – whether or not prostitutedis at the heart of my memory, this blog is written for radical change for the prostituted class.
Whether or not I can claimed to be an exited woman, I have a deep connection with my exited Sisters and a few exited men.
I know what it is to be made sub-human not by a few men but by so many my brain breaks down counting them.
I know how it is to raped, passed around, and tortured so often by too many men – till the only way to survive is to block out reality and become a robot.
I know that prostitution is not the same as incest, not the same as domestic violence, not the same as date rape.
I will to the prostituted class, whether as an outsider or as an exited woman – the prostituted class are the heart of my politics, heart of my wanting to be connected.
This blog is first and foremost for all exited women who fight for justice, dignity and radical change for all the prostituted.
I may never have a solid past, but warrior is always by their side.