I have been unable to write after my move to Devon.
This is because my mental energy is focus on moving and trying to fit in.
Now, I am wanting to write and be inside the Abolitionist Movement.
I have had a crisis of doubts that I can belong or even have the right to speak my opinions. But slowly, I am reaching a place of peace and acceptance.
Recently, I have been made to say that I was never prostituted for there is no evidence.
Instead it has decided that I am autistic or damaged from childhood mental abuse.
This made me scared to write.
But I was prostituted, and doubt that I am autistic.
I can never prove I was prostituted, only know it is every cell of my body and mind.
All I know, it is normal for exited women to be told by those who claimed to love them that it was never prostitution.
Who wants to believe a loved one is constantly raped, tortured and on the edge of death?
How do see that your loved one was made sub-human and into sexual goods?
But this disbelief is part of the silencing that is around the truths of exited women.
It comes from a place of refusal to see the impacted trauma that is the legacy of being prostituted.
Yes, many exited women were abused as children, and a few may of had previous mental issues – but the constant violence and hate that is prostitution is the root of most of that trauma.
Trauma is push deep down by the lack of belief, trauma is built on a lack of justice and a root back to dignity.
To not hear or believe that your loved one was prostituted is to block her route back to being fully human.
I and other exited women understand your lack of belief, we know it hurts too much, we know it is the unthinkable.
Do not try to talk as around to your way of thinking.
Do not tell us we must be lying or misremembering.
Do not diagnose us without factoring in impacted trauma.
Do think your stereotype view of what a prostitute is the only way to be prostituted. Think of the opposite and know both are true.
Do teach yourself the multiple ways women and girls are prostituted.
Do listen to exited women without judgement or preconceived ideas.
Do be open to change and ideas that hurt to the core.
Then you may on the start of believing.
To believe is sad and hurts – but to believe is freedom and a part of the hammer that will destroy the sex trade.