Breaking In

To be prostituted is constantly to be broken down and broken in.

To be prostituted is lose humanity and be made sexual goods.

This breaking of the soul is essence of who and what the sex trade is.

This breaking of all the prostituted is why I am an radical exited prostituted woman.

I want abolition of all the sex trade and their allies, I cannot compromise knowing my prostituted are being broken minute by minute.

I was introduced into the world of the sex trade by a continual line of punters raping me for six hours.

I was 14.

This was one punter after another.

This was gang-raping as others watch, and were even filming.

This was every hole in body conquer, left bleeding out and leaving a silence in the room.

This was a beginning of a trauma that now shadow me still.

That was my introduction, and for millions of the prostituted everywhere that is a tiny example of how the sex trade produces sexual goods.

For to be the ideal prostitute, it is vital to have no safety, have no rights, and no access to support or help.

To break down the prostitute is to make her isolated, and that she forgets she is human enough for anyone to care if she lives or dies.

All that matters to the sex trade, is that the prostitute is consumed by endless punters with sadist fantasies – hell, that where the real profit is.

That is the reality of prostitution, not the pipe dream that the sex work lobby feed you.

 

Silencing

There is a constant stubborn silencing of the multiple voices of exited prostituted women. This is not new, this is not in one country or culture – this a an ancient world-wide tactic of the sex trade and its allies.

From the moment that the sex trade found it could make females into sex objects, they have made sure the voices of the enslaved is silenced.

Recently in Spain, women have written to me of how the sex trade lobby is refuses exited prostituted women to speak out.

This is a small example of their desire to control the so-called debate round the conditions of prositution and how society can speak to it.

The language of the sex trade/work lobby is a silencing of those conditions, a silencing of responsibilities of punters, silencing of male violence to the prostituted, silencing of embedded classism and racism of prostitution, a silencing of all wisdoms of the prostituted class.

The screams, the whisperings, the knowledge of the prostituted is frozen in this silencing.

This silencing have been there since the first caveman exchange goods to rape a cavewomen.

This silencing is in the streets of Delhi, the brothels in Nevada, the escorts firms of all computers – the silencing of the prostituted is everywhere but made out to be nowhere.

Instead the sex trade/work lobby speak loudly for punters and sex trade profiteers, ignoring those they claim to stand for and with.

Nothing said by this lobby does anything to help the prostituted class, rather it keeps them enslaved, with no rights, in horrific conditions and constant threat/reality of all forms of violence.

The sex trade/work lobby is the authentic voices of those who would profit from the expansion of all forms of prostitution, and it is also the voice that all punters want to hide behind.

I have had enough of their control, their arrogance and their callous disregard to the basic human rights of the prostituted.

I want the 21st century to be the century of the liberation of all the prostituted.

This must lead by the multiple voices of exited women if this freedom is to be solid.

 

Back in the Day

Remembering prostitution is a way to know why I am an Abolitionist.

Remembering is a way to drag my warrior spirit to the surface.

But

Remembering is a to know hell.

Remembering back in the day of punters owning, controlling and making me nothing is the only way to face truth.

I remember not to heal.

I remember not to forgive.

I remember to speak truth to power.

I remember to see, feel and be clear about the conditions of prostitution and dismiss the myths.

So what are the important things and points that I remember.

I remember that all punters wanted me to be non-human.

I remember so much pain that I have closed most of it down.

I remember rooms full of sweat, semen, fear and lack of an exit.

I remember every hole in my body being conquered and penetrated.

I remember no protection, no access to safety.

I remember being filmed for amateur porn.

I remember being exchanged through word of mouth of punters who wanted a sex doll.

I remember being closed to death as punters laughed.

I remember dreaming of suicide, or being a failed suicide.

I remembering drinking and drinking and drinking.

I remembering women and girls disappearing – maybe murdered.

I remember never making it rich.

I remember in fragments, I remember too much and I remember too little.

I know what hell is.

So I remember to fight on.

 

The Killer In Me

In memory of Aileen Wournoes

 

Yesterday, one prostituted woman who killed was given a reprieve.

This is wonderful, but it does stop the everyday violence done to the prostituted worldwide.

Every moment of every day, a prostituted female is being tortured, serially raped and too often murdered, and that is non-news.

But if one prostituted female cannot bare the trauma any more and fight back, if she kills a punter or a sex trade profiteers – then there a fury to punish her for daring to protect herself.

Well, what surprises me is that the vast majority of prostituted females do not kill, do not beat up punters, do not attack sex trade profiteers.

This is truama, this engrained terror, this is lack of hope.

Inside the vast majority of prostituted women and girls, there is a killer wanting to come out.

How can it not be when living inside constant torture, erosion of Selfhood and the moment by moment threat of death?

Inside the prostituted soul is a desire for punishment, for pain to be place on all the men who make the choice to buy or sell her as sexual goods.

Everytime as punters force their porn-dreams into her, she can imagine his lifeless body and try not to smile.

Hell, how often did I fake sex noises or movements whilst dreaming of putting some of pain into the scum that was paying to rape me.

That is normal and a survival mechanism for the prostituted – but we rarely act on our murderous dreams.

We are better than the sex trade profiteers, better than the punters, and better than all those who support the sex trade.

We do not throw away the men who raped us, the men who torture us, who murdered our prostituted Sisters.

Unlike the punters who do all this violence, and throw into the trash when they are bored.

We do not make other humans into sexual goods, with no human rights, cut off from all those who could love them or give them back dignity.

That is left to the sex trade profiteers to do with few if any consequences.

We do not hide beside the language of sex work, claiming prostitution must be the answer to female poverty, saying all work is slavery so why worry, and stating it must better than being a cleaner.

No that honour goes to the sex work lobby – made up of mainly white middle-class women who have never experienced prostitution in the raw, but think they know better than exited women.

I am furious that every day in every continent the prostituted are allowed to be sunk into Hell.

When is truly reported about the everyday torturing that is what makes prostitution?

Is not being serially raped, anally abused, gang-raped, forced to be in porn, being keep on the point of death, and all others abuses punters feel entitled to do – is that not the fundamentals of torture?

Is this torturing not one of the largest human rights emergency known to all human history?

No, we choose to make this horror invisible, and by blaming the prostituted we allow    the punters and the sex trade to get away with literal murder.

We brush away all talk, all reporting and recording of the everyday murders of the prostituted females.

Every place or culture that normalises the sex trade is guilty of allowing these murders to be made unimportant.

If you are a prostituted female is is rare to live till your 27th year, for the death rates are at the least 12 to 20 times higher than females of a similar background.

That is to state that almost every country is the world has piles of murdered prostituted females that are made to disappeared.

They are unnamed, unremembered and tossed away.

But when one prostituted woman react to her living hell by killing a punter or sex trade profiteers – that is newsworthy, that is shocking and that must be punished with the full force of the law.

Is that not hypocrisy?

Mr Big Stuff

As I listen to Christmas Soul, Mr Big Stuff comes back on, and I think of my Christmases as a prostituted woman, think of the arrogance of punters buying any prostituted woman in these holidays.

Most punters who consume over the Christmas period are rich, are in family units, and want to pour violence into the prostituted.

Yes, these punters are scum, and traitors to their families.

When inside prostitution, Christmas can mean nothing – it is the main reason I have reinvented Christmas for myself and make a happy in the presence time.

In prostitution, the punter demand can grow, and often it be a throwing away of their money for access to no consequences torturing and raping.

I know these men hide their violence, thinking it is nothing of importance for it only to the prostituted, who are never seen as humans with basic rights.

In a true Christmas spirit, we must hold in our hearts what is happening to the prostituted.

See the torture reframe as consensus sex.

See the rapes made invisible by the exchange of money or goods.

See the hate that fuels each and every man who makes the choice to consume the prostituted.

See the sex industry and its minions named sex work lobby, that only speaks for more profits, punters and keeping the unsafe status quo of prostitution – having no interest in the welfare and rights of any of the prostituted.

See it in your neighbourhood, see it is a global emergency.

This Christmas imagine a worl with no prostitution.

A world with generations of men and women unable to understand why we thought buying and selling of humans for male orgasms was seen as a good idea.

A world where slowly we see all women as fully formed human, not sexual goods.

A world where porn is throw into a deep pit, as we learn how wonderful fully consensual and equal sex can be.

This Christmas, I hope more people join me in fighting for abolition, that is my wish.

 

Hiatus

I moved to Devon last October, and my work went into a hiatus. I hope that soon, post-Christmas, I will get back into work.

I needed to stop, to slow down for my mental welfare was shattered.

Being in a small town has changed me in so many positive ways, and I want my loyal followers to know some of those changes.

I am calmer, happier and finally believe that I have a real home.

Being close to my sister is wonderful, of course we have sisterly grumpy times, and need our own space – but to get back my sister is the best thing in my life.

I love being an aunt to adult nephews and nieces, it such an honour to be part of their growing into brilliant people.

I have been able to renew friendship with other relations, and find that I am a family person, just not with my mother – and that is fine.

I was getting mentally disturbed in Manchester, coz I was isolated and could switch off from prostitution issues and my grief round that.

My move to Tavistock has ease my mind to think in many different directions.

Nature, landscape and the quiet life is the norm in Tavistock.

I can see the edges of the moors from my flat, can see a woods ful of crow’s nests, see amazing sunsets.

Tavistock is very traditional, with seasonal food, a pannier market, many local shops.

It is very old-fashioned about Christmas, which makes so happy.

The lights are simple and elegant, there is a Dickens night, and lots of community plays.

I have learn to go walking, especially canal and river walks. I go into town to relax every day, maybe not Saturdays and Sundays.

I am becoming a country type, a Devonian – there are loads of eccentric folks here.

Finally, in Tavistock they are able to offer help long-term round mental health, I have a befriender who is non-judgemental and I really like.

I hope to get to be back campaigning soon, I am getting there.

Never Be Safe Enough

I thought I would write about how prostitution can never be made safe or even safe enough to be framed as a job. Instead the conditions of prostitution is the definition of slavery or trafficking.

The sex work lobby will endlessly claimed that only some tinkering will transform the sex trade into a caring employer- who will have deep concern for the physical, sexual and mental welfare of all the prostituted.

This is a horrific lie, which is recruite and brainwash the vulnerable into the sex trade.

It is a lie for the purpose of prostitution is turn the vulnerable, mainly females, into subhuman sexual goods.

That is to break down the woman physically, mentally and sexually by violence, by hate and by degradation.

In that environment there can never be a safe form of prostitution, or a safe place to be prostituted.

See what prostitution is. See it through the eyes of punters. See what is demanded from those punters.

Punters are not demanding sex – they are demanding the right to fully control and dominate the prostituted.

In their porn-fuelled minds, it become their right to rape, torture or kill the prostituted- for it not a human that is harmed, just goods that he is consuming.

How in that environment can prostitution ever be made safe.

It is not laws that makes prostitution unsafe. It is the mythical stigma that makes the prostituted unsafe – it is the entitlement of the punters that are danger.

There is nothing abstract about the violence and hate that these punters do – see that pain, terror and cutting away of humanity in every prostituted woman that has been invaded by their poison.

The serial rapes of the prostituted is real.

We know rape is horrific, may be worse than murder, for death could be a release.

We comfort or fight for justice when a woman is raped once – but when a prostituted woman is raped beyond remembrance that she can remain human. Raped by punters in the thousands, raped till she all as one face – raped till she loses connection to her own body.

The prostituted woman is raped so many times and with such sickening violence, that it is made to unspeakable – being unspoken it is unrecorded and unreported, making punter violence invisible.

It is normal for the prostituted to be used to living with torture.

Usually this torture is extreme, everything from gang raping to waterboarding. Every form of torture is placed into the minds and bodies of the prostituted.

The prostituted have all form of torturing rehearsed into their bodies, we have known all evils that porn said can be done to women – it is embedded in every cell of the prostituted.

Lastly, the violence ends with high levels of deaths of the prostituted. These are deaths through suicide, through ill health or through being murdered by punters.

The murders are made nothing, as they are rarely recorded or reported.

The prostituted are made to disappear with no written evidence that they ever existed.

Our deaths have importance – just trash to be tossed away.

So how can prostitution ever be safe.

Wake up, and stop this violence and hate.