Excuses, Excuses

In this post, I will try and see punters with a clear eye.

I will use their constant whining and justifying to see who and what they are.

Most punters imagine they are sex gods.

Many imagine they are kind to the prostituted.

All know that, in reality, they view all the prostituted as sub-human sexual goods.

All know that owned the prostituted, and that in that ownership all the prostituted lose access to basic human rights.

Therefore there is no such person as a good or decent punter – all are paying to create sexual slavery.

But most punters find excuses for this behaviour, excuses that normalise their violence and hate.

A common excuse is that men cannot survive without unlimited access to sex.

It is as if his penis would go green and drop off, if he cannot get unlimited and easy access to the prostituted.

This myth is emboldened by the false reasoning that if punters are excluded from consuming the prostituted – then he will have to rape or sexually torture “real women”.

Remember that the prostituted are stripped of their humanity – so in the minds of punters, they are impossible to rape.

Money is consent to all punters – but more horrific, money is a shield to torture, to mental abuse, to murder and to creating a genocide of the prostituted.

Punters know they can do any form of mental/physical/sexual on the prostituted, and it will be made invisible.

The motto for punters is Nothing is Happening to Nothing.

Many punters will speak with anger and horror when “real women” are raped – as their pour porn-fuelled violence into the minds and bodies of the prostituted.

I have been with punters condemning child rape, as they are happy to torture sexually an underaged prostitute.

I know punters will gang-raped the prostituted as common practice, but curse gang-rapes when it not inside the sex trade.

Punters ease themselves with these contradictions, buoyed by the sex trade and its allies.

Many punters imagined that their sexual prowess is god-like, that all the prostituted are gagging for his visit.

These punters are often extremely violent, often want sexual acts that cause pain or ignore the prostitute as a full human.

These punters want to conquer, owned and often destroy the prostituted.

He becomes a Man by eliminating the prostitute as a human.

These punters enjoy the terror, the pain and the lack of hope that they place into the prostituted.

Many punters want to think they are the good guys, that they respect the prostituted.

This is bullshit.

No-one who buy another human for his sexual wants is a good man, or know what respect is.

To be a good man would start with never consuming any part of the sex trade, including porn, strip clubs, phone sex and especially all forms of prostitution.

To have respect for the prostituted could start with campaigning for abolition of the sex trade.

Respect is given by demanding full human rights for all the prostituted – that is the right to safety, the right to exit, the right to full humanity.

Respect is given by knowing the prostituted are highly unlikely to freedom to choose.

The prostituted cannot choose whether they will be raped, sexually tortured or murdered – that choice is always controlled by the conscious decision of the punter to be violent or not.

The prostituted does not choose the constant erosion of her humanity by the flow of punters stealing her right to safety and life.

I do not care if an individual punter justify his actions by imaging he must be decent and a gentleman.

Every punter is at any time capable of rape, torture and being a murderer.

Each punter is part of the slow gang-raping of the prostituted that erodes her soul and desire for hope.

I shall end by stating that all punters are the root of all the hate and violence that is the norm for the prostituted.

We must keep our focus on these men, for their demand and sexual greed is the reason the prostituted are scared to even imagined hope or freedom.

 

 

 

 

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Tired of Being Tired

In this post, I wish to explain my blockage to writing.

I have put on rock and roll music, coz my mood needs bucking up. I feel sickened at my lack of campaigning, lack of writing and dead soul.

Recently, I have been disabled from Facebook, which has made disconnected from the joys of the net – that my hobbies of anything to do with 1870’s to 1940’s, plus my obsession with American music.

Also, Facebook give me a deep connection to some of my supporters and fellow Abolitionists.

I would love to get back onto Facebook, so if anyone knows how – it will not accept my email or phone number, and I want to keep them.

Well, bum poo piss to that – I must write to why I am finding campaigning and writing so damned difficult.

For a week now, I have getting rid of all pro-sex work lobby from my Twitter account.

Their lack of logic, their hate-speech, their attacks on exited folks and their personal attacks have made so tired.

I know that the sex work lobby will keep on attacking and spreading propaganda, but I choose to ignore their white noise.

I will try to get back on my campaigning bike, and the only good I see in the sex trade lobby, is that their nonsense makes me want to fight harder.

I am tired of their propaganda, I am tired of their blatant lies, I am tired of their attacking exited folks, I am tired of their worshipping of punters.

Christ, I am tired of their shite.

The sex trade lobby has its voice in all media, in most institutions with power – but it plays the victim.

What really maddened me and many other exited folks, is their claim to the voice of the prostituted – when they speak the language of sex trade profiteers, speak in the interests of punters, have no interest in sexual/physical/mental welfare of the prostituted, and give no routes to exiting.

The sex trade lobby spends the majority of its time and energy not in campaigning for the prostituted – but in attacking all who may be Abolitionists, attacking survivors of the sex trade who dare speak to the conditions of prostitution.

This is not for the prostituted – this is the language of making the prostituted into sub-human sexual goods to make profits. This is the language that justify punters destroying any human rights that the prostituted may have.

I am tired that their shite is believed.

So many who are claiming to be feminists, so many Leftists, so many who fight for human rights believe the propaganda of the sex trade lobby.

It becomes a Alice Through the Looking-Glass scenario – white is back, right is wrong and lies becomes the only truth.

Often those who believe in the nonsense that the sex work lobby spread, will be strong supporters anti-rape and anti-domestic violence, but then separate prostitution from all other forms of male violence to females.

Think on this carefully.

Do you think most battered women can be brainwashed to thinking their partner will stop if they just behave carefully.

Do you considered that rape is one of the worst crimes that exists.

Do you think being rape only once can be traumatic.

Do understand that it is highly common that battered find it almost impossible to leave.

Think – would you say similar for the prostituted women, or would makes different rules for them.

Would you say prostitution is freely chosen.

Would you say rape is impossible if money/goods is exchanged.

That it is not believable anyone be raped by thousands of punters and survived – so survivors of prostitution must be lying.

Would you say it is easy to leave prostitution.

Think and say any of that and you are making the prostituted not fully human.

This is sickening.

No wonder I am so exhausted.

 

 

 

Invisible

I am hurting, hurting coz disbelief and or belief in only the stereotypes of what it is to be prostituted, is constantly making the prostituted or exited invisible.

The image of what is and what is not a prostitute discounts the majority of us.

It is an image divided between sex slaves and women who need money so offer out sex. There is no middle ground, no complicated drives into the sex trade, and no listening to the exited.

It is an useful silencing tool, for it feeds into our trauma and fragmented memory.

Sadly, these myths are often held by people who we love, hold in respect or want long- term relationship with.

Often being disbelieved come from a place of love, or desire to help.

But, there is no listening, just speaking around, through and over.

Even if an exited woman appeared to be heard, there is no real listening, just wanting for the gap to say how and why she got it wrong.

Most of the exited fall back into silence, and learning to keep their heads down, in order to keep friendship or family relationships.

I have few words about this, and may write more later.

 

How Do You Think It Feels.

This post is dedicated to all survivors of the sex trade who lost for words when saying their truths.

 

To be an exited prostituted woman is live in fog of memory.

Trauma steals our memories, steals our emotions, steal our ways to speak our experiences.

Some part of brains are destroyed by the constant male violence, by the endless lack of real hope.

There is a hole in our minds that cannot be filled.

Ask us – How did it feel to be prostituted – and words cannot express our grief, pain or despair.

Too often all that left to say is the abstract, the general, or just old theories.

Words cannot hold what it is to prostituted – maybe it comes out in expression arts, maybe through our nightmares, maybe it plant itself far back in our subconscious.

I just know the linear, logical conscious mind spills out words that feel inadequate and leaves me empty.

The language of the conscious mind leaves wondering if I will ever make it to being fully human – or did the sex trade destroys that for me and my exited family.

For, the truth is we have lived through the unspeakable – we have known Hell, and words can never express that reality.

But, it is my mission to try to fit words to that reality – to try and communicate in simple language how surreal and life-draining it is to be prostituted.

The most important thing is draws all language from ideas of sex or sexuality, and speak to the language of human rights, power imbalance and torture.

We must avoid the language of work – speak to slavery, speak to trafficking, speak sexual expliotation

Therefore all the words of sex work or workers is lies and propagana – and is slowly destroying the prostitution by encouraging punters and sex trade profiteers to be unseen and blameless.

My route to understanding what it was to be prostituted was through the words of humans rights, the words of indigenous peoples, the words of classic horror, the words of poetry, the words of shell-shocked soldiers, the words of those who survived concentration camps, the words of the tortured, and the words of silence of lost hope.

All these words frame my way into my Hell, but still I am lost for adequate words.

To be raped by so many punters that they lose faces, lose the how there was tearing at my mind and body – where are the words that fit that.

To know such constant raping, that the body refuses to compute pain or terror, and sends signals that it is of no importance – where are the words for that.

To be tortured in the mind, tortured in every cell of the body – tortured by sleep deprivation, tortured by punters killing you and bringing back to life, tortured by threats and lies, tortured by any means that porn has invented – where are the words for that.

That is the surface of prostitution – that is the day in, night out reality of prostitution, which is happening to millions of the prostituted as you read this.

Our silence is not complicence or sign that it did not not matter.

Our silence is a trauma so deep that animal screams would be inadequate to say our truths.

All that I say is our pain, our grief and our Hells are so embedded in us that we seeks words but find only each word appears a drop of water in our ocean of trauma.

Prostitution is, was and always has been torture, dehumanising and a form of slavery.

Prostitution is never liberating, never empowering and never a route to feminism.

Prostitution is the oldest opppression, the oldest violation of basic human rights.

We must find a language that fits that.

 

If it Quacks like a Duck

There are so many ways to pretend that prostitution is not prostitution.

In this post, I will focus on how child sexual exploitation is disconnected from prostitution, even when often they are clearly one and the same.

If a girl is being paid for by punters, if there is hundreds of these punters – that is both sexual exploitation and prostitution.

If groups of men are grooming those girls to be sex objects for profits – that is both sexual exploitation and prostitution.

These are the norms of CSE, but for some reason is cut away from the world of the sex trade.

In reality, it is internal trafficking to all forms of prostitution and other routes into the sex trade.

But, when these exploited girls are embedded into the sex trade, they become invisible and unimportant.

They are labelled as having chosen their lifestyle, being a happy hooker.

Once, a girl is trapped inside the sex trade, she loses her right to be a victim, her right to be a to a child.

To be made a prostitute, is to have no connections back to having basic human rights.

An exploited girl can be pitied – a prostituted girl is constantly up for it.

An exploited girl who is a prostitute must never be heard, seen or made fully human – in case, seeing her means we may say all prostitution is exploitative.

So, now we see CSE as on-off tragedies – whether in Telford, Rochdale, Newcastle or Oxford – but refuse to joined the dots.

We refuse to see that most adults prostituted girls started as exploited girls.

We refuse to connect that money is the roots of most CSE.

Instead, we see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil as our girls are raped, murdered and tortured.

No More

I have campaigning for real justice and dignity for the prostituted for so long, and every time small progress is made, I see how trapped the prostituted are.

There is a long road to true justice for the prostituted, I have enough of the few crumbs we are meant to be grateful for.

I fight for the Nordic Approach to cover every country in the world.

But that is brilliant start, but nowhere near the end to gain true justice and dignity for all the prostituted.

It is vital that we criminalise all men who choose to buy other humans for their sexual greed.

That is a good start, but we need to dig deeper into showing who these are punters.

We need more than a standard fine for punters.

We need to fine on a scale of their income, such as 10% of their wages or benefits.

We need to have serious jail sentences for sadist punters and punters who consume the prostituted on a regular basis.

We need stop shaming the prostituted, and place all the blame and stigma onto the punters.

It is vital to criminalise all those who profiteer from all forms of prostitution.

But again, we must do more.

We must accept that there is little or no difference between profiteering from trafficking or so-called freely chosen prostitution.

We must see that all forms of prostitution, whether indoors or street-based, is structured on profiteering on rape, torture and disregard of the welfare of the prostituted.

That is there no safe variety of prostitution.

And, if we get the Nordic Approach, it must be with holistic and long-term approaches to how the prostituted can exit.

If we are to offer long-term therapy or counselling, it must be designed to be specialist to understand the trauma of surviving prostitution.

We must give the exited routes back to employment or education, routes to a safe place to live.

We may need to build ways for prostituted women to get their children back.

All that is vital and life-affirming.

It not good enough to just be an internet warrior who types how great the Nordic Approach is.

The prostituted are inside a genocide, so hiding beside a computer, and saying how sad that is is never enough.

I stopped writing, coz despair was in my heart.

Do more please.

 

 

 

Not the Same

In this post I will speak to Margaret Baldwin’s wonderful essay in “Not for Sale: Feminists Resisting Prostitution and Pornography”, which is “Strategies of Connection: Postitution and Feminist Politics.”

I will go through it thoroughly for to me it give hope and a route to revolution.

INTRODUCTION

”Feminist activists confront profound challenges in crafting strategies against prostitution, and for prostituted women. Those challenges require putting into action the greatest and more demanding strengths of feminism: forging connections among women, confronting the political meaning of our silences, and refusing to abandon any woman by the side of the road. a feminist political approach to prostitution must begin from these strengths, and be tested against the standards set by them…. This paper attempts some modest answers to these large question.”

I use this blog and my talks to confront feminists with their isolating of the prostituted, their abandonment of the women who know male violence from the insides of their guts.

I am a feminist, but a despairing feminists as daily I know my feminists Sisters are othering my prostituted Sisters.

ON CONNECTION

”In feminism, we are committed to promoting solidarity among all women. We do this based on the belief that our experiences as women are linked, and our destinies shared…. The history of women’s oppression is likewise a tale of fine distinctions made among us: who deserved it, who asked for it, and so on. The history of feminism is, in turn, the history of our resistance to those distinctions.”

Here we see the beginning of the Othering of the prostituted.

”… That men hurt, despise, and exploit women and girls in and by prostitution should be enough reason for solidarity with survivors. My question, though, is whether more is demanded of us in forging a connection between prostitution and other sexual abuse – and between prostitutes and other women – beyond an initial understanding that prostitution is abusive, too.”

This is my springboard to revolution, that there multiple differences between prostitution and other forms of male violence against women.

We must know the differences to destroy prostitution as an institution, and not to abandon the prostituted class.

”This is no to suggest that all women are the same, or experience the same kind of victimisation as women. Certainty, not all women are prostituted, and that is a good thing. Not all women, that is, turn tricks for money, five times a day, thirty-five times a week, with two thousand men a year, while suffering at least the usual incidence of incest, rapes, beatings, and sexual harassment that other women do. The prostitution is on top of that. Many women have to endure only pieces of prostitution. Many women are subjected to unwanted sex from men who objectify us, but not typically from two thousand men a year. Many women suffer serial battery from husbands or lovers, but not typically also at the hands of hundreds of relative strangers. Many women receive money from aharassing boss in the form of a pay check, but not typically in a context where harassment is the the job. Each of these transactions shares something in common with prostitution, but none of them is prostitution. We might observe, too, that none of these transactions is exactly like the others, too. Rape is one thing, domestic battery another thing, sexual harassment another, prostitution another. All of them, nevertheless, involve some expression or manifestation of sexual ownership. Each of these practices, understood this way, is like a particular tactical weapon in the arsenal of male dominance – each can be deadly, even if differently deplored.”

This a stark reminder that we must stop saying that prostitution is just too many rapes, just the same as domestic violence, is just sexual harassment at work.

It is more, on the scale of genocide, and like all genocides it done to those who considered to non-humans, so our pain, grief and fight for just justice is discounted.

”… For underlying each of our principal strategies in rape law reform, in domestic battery and self-defence work, and in sexual harassment resistance, is an assertion crying out to be believed – we are not prostitutes. Our rape shield rules are crafted to distinguish in a juror’s mind between the woman testifying that a man raped her, and the prostitute who presumably has sex with anyone, consensually…. “

All violence to the prostituted is nothing happening to nothing.

Our pain is blow into the wind, our humiliation is crashed into dust, our right to grieve our loss of humanity is laughed at.

We cannot be raped, we cannot be battered, we do know torture and our murders are not even recorded.

Nothing is happening here.

”… Like women in prostitution, feminism has been channelled, deprived, punished, and cajoled to maintain certain limits, to please in certain ways – conditions which may have come to seem normal for us, and which some of us will at times enthusiastically say we chose.”

ON SILENCES

”The biggest silence maintained by the anti- prostitute design of our sexual violence work is silence about johns. In reality, they are mostly white, married men with at least a little disposable income – real people, that is. Emperical research on johns is almost non-existent. Since johns are rarely arrested, their identities remain shielded from public disclosure, as well as from criminal sanctions. Even johns try to avoid the label. In prostitution transactions, johns frequently adopt a variety of sexual roles – as boyfriend, as lover, as father, sometimes as punitive avenger of the public good. By insisting on these roles, a john aviods seeing himself as just a trick. On all of these fronts – academic, legal, and personal –  who johns are, why they buy women, and their culpability for doing so, are evaded questions”

This lack of centring in on punters is the biggest betrayal to the prostituted class.

Punters are your brothers, your work colleagues, our radical allies, your teachers, yours pastors or priests – heck punters are everywhere and nowhere.

But punters are allowed to not exist as criminals, or to be seen to do actual violence.

Their rapes, their torturing and their murders are purposely made invisible in order to make that nothing is happening to nothing.

”Prostituted women and girls themselves, who have the most insight and information on johns, have also been silenced. The prostitution itself takes its toll in despair, depression, denial, drug abuse, isolation, torture, and murder. Many women do not survive. Women who do survive prostitution usually find recalling and retelling their experiences enormously painful and disturbing. The law, too, plays a role in silencing survivors. Criminal records, mental health treatment histories, and substance abuse issues compromise a prostituted woman’s credibility, assuming she ever gets to talk at all about the men who buy her…. The obvious beneficiaries of the suppression of prostituted women’s voices, again, are the johns who use them.”

The grim reality of being an exited woman is our knowledge it was a toss of a coin that we survived.

We live alongside the ghosts of the majority of the prostituted who were thrown away, did not have the ability to stay sane or alive, who were made to disappear.

We live with the ghosts of the prostituted whose murders were unreported, who were tortured into losing hope, the ones who committed suicide.

To be exited is luck, our inner strength and warrior spirit is as strong as the millions of the prostituted who are lost to us.

”… Perhaps non-prostitutes,  especially white, middle-class, married women, have some stake in this separation, too. It is uncomfortable to think of your nice husband or retired dad as a guy who buys women and girls for sex. Maybe this is a reason, however unconscious, for non-prostituted women, especially white, middle-class, married women, to keep separating themselves from prostitutes and their own abuse from prostitution.”

”Moreover, we know that some of the realities of prostitution are not confined to prostitution itself.”

”… One man is not the same as two thousand.”

This is my revolution, that the scale of the prostituted bodies is carrying the thousands of nameless and faceless punters pouring rape, tortures and deaths into them as their norm.

This is not normal for the non-prostituted, even though rape, battery and harassment in almost every women’s lives.

What hurts our experiences are dismiss and silenced.

One or three rapes garnered sympathy from feminists, but to be raped to when you lose counts or that you have a skin is too be ignored.

To be battered by a man who is known is a crime and access if lucky to shelter – but to battered by endless punters is just part of the job, or reframed as S/M sex.

We are being sold down the river.