Oldest Profession

The stupidest myth or belief about prostitution is the oldest profession.

I could scream till my head explodes as I hear everywhere and from every type of person.

It is not a profession, it is not work.

If you think being a prostitution is a career, why don’t you spend six months in a brothel or as an escort.

If it is a profession, where is the training schools, have you found apprenticeships for prostitution?

I think you know you speak bullshit when you say prostitution is sex work or a profession.

To call it work, means you speak harm reduction or the language of health and safety – rather facing all the violence done to the prostituted is because they are viewed as goods rather than workers.

To be made into sexual goods can never be classed as work.

You cannot clean that up by saying it is a profession.

Let’s look at the idea that prostitution has always been with.

So has murder, wars, child abuse, battery, rape and multiple male ways of staying in control and entitlement.

Hell, why not say being a serial killer is a profession, say incest is just sex work, or rape is useful skill.

Why not, after in the profession of prostitution – all the work hazards are every form of male violence, and this made invisible.

Instead, the sex trade lobby backs a system of harm reduction rather than confronting the male hate.

Harm reduction is about placing bandages on a half-dead body of the prostitute, then sending back into danger.

I call the harm reduction approach – the coffee and condoms brigade.

Handing out leaflets, coffee and condoms may seems kind, but does little or nothing to end the sadism of the majority of punters.

How can you read leaflets when just remembering to keep breathing is a major task.

How do insist a violent punter puts on a condom when he is not caring if you are dead or alive?

Also, many punters will put holes in condoms, will pretend they are wearing one – it is impossible to get a punter to care enough to wear a condom if he see you as non-human.

There is a strange theory put across by the sex work lobby that a prostitute can train herself to spot the ugly mug, that is the bad punter.

Sorry, all punters are bad punters, just some hide behind the mask of not being too violent, the mask of pretending he sees the prostitute as almost an human.

So the sex work lobby has a fake idea that there can be a course in health and safely, and then the sex trade can carry on as usual.

In this fantasy, it is thought a prostituted woman can see in the body language of the punter that he is an ugly mug.

Jeez Louise, what utter crap.

We know that most batterers can appears kindly and normal in public, or as they are grooming their partner. That is the same in acquaintance rape.

We know women can live with violent men for many years without seeing any signs of his hate and sadism.

But prostituted women are meant to have some special gift to see punter’s identity depths.

Even if a prostituted woman does see or feel warning signs, what the hell can she do.

Must prostituted take place in isolation, or surrounded by people who gain by ignoring her pleas for help.

The majority of punters know they have full entitlement to any violence they can imagine, and any health and safety rules are just made trash.

And that is call a profession.

It makes me sick and so furious.

C’mon England

Yesterday I cried when I heard Ireland had got the Nordic Approach.

So England why are you still lagging behind?

I am tired of living in a country that makes invisible the slavery of the prostituted.

I am tired of living in a country that makes invisible that torture is happening in every place where prostitution is made normal.

Harm reduction is no answer, we cannot stop a genocide by placing bandages on the bleeding.

We must fight harder and with more energy for the Nordic Approach.

After all if Sweden, Norway, France, Canada, Northern Ireland and Ireland see the Nordic Approach as a logical approach – maybe we can stop burying our headers in the sand and think about real change.

I am sick of living in a culture that thinks prostitution is funny, that prostitution can made neat and tidy.

I am sick of the old refrain that prostitution has always been with us- there is no archaeological proof that is a fact.

But even if I thought there was some fragments of truth in that cliche – so what murder has always been with us, men have always raped women and children.

Do we just make they cultural choices to do nothing about murder, rape and child abuse when it occurs in the non-prostituted population?

Of course not – but we make all male violence to the prostituted invisible.

I refuse to accept that the country I happened to be born into be so chivalry about tossing away the human rights of the prostituted.

No, I want more from this country.

I want to see generations of English males to be in a culture where the concept of buying another human for sexual greed is seen as bizarre and an sickening act.

I want to live in a culture that knows prostitution can never be sex work.

A culture that knows that no amount of harm reduction will prevent punters from murdering, torturing, mentally abusing and serially raping the prostituted.

A culture that see that this male violence is no accident or sudden whim on a night out –  it is pre-planned and often organised.

I am exhausted by the constant excuses made for punters.

They are not lonely or unable to chat up “real women.

It is not ok to service disabled men with women from another oppressed class.

Prostitution does nothing to prevent rape of the non-prostituted or domestic violence.

There is no such thing as underground prostitution, for it always available to punters to find, so follow their trail.

All punters are violent, for they paying for the right to own and fully control the prostituted.

He is paying to rape without consequences.

He is paying to make another human in sub-human sexual goods.

He is paying to torture or murder, knowing the sex trade will clean it all away.

No punter is innocent. No punter can dare to reframed himself as a victim.

All punters are serious criminals.

So the Nordic Approach is logical- c’mon England get your act together.



Anger of a Whore

I live with fury.

A fury that is so quiet it can scare me.

A fury that could burn down the cornfield.

My fury is my own, my fury is connected to all my exited friends, my fury is made from  the centuries of destruction of all my prostituted Sisters.

What I find hard to understand or even sympathise with is how many so-called feminists look at the conditions of the prostituted with detachment and/or pity.

Those reactions do little or nothing to end our suffering, instead it just play into the hands of sex trade profiteers and punters.

There is too much shutting down or hiding away when exited women speak to those conditions.

There is vague recognition that prostitution is bad for all women, sadly diverting the conversation to all women but the prostituted.

This is a constant refrain when thinking that rape only happens to women outside the sex trade.

It becomes the “real problem” only when punters rape non-prostituted women.

This silences exited women who want or need to say their truth – that to be prostituted is to be raped so often and by so many men, that it no longer rape but torture.

It is a silencing of the basic truth that to buy another human for sexual greed is rape.

There is no consent for the prostituted – unless you think money or gifts can replace consent.

A punter knows it is rape, but he chooses not to care.

Instead he reframe the public image of his violence and hate. His reframing becomes the language that is normalised the consuming of the prostituted.

Let’s reflect on punter’s justifications and sense of denial.

This is something that exited women know deeply, it is under their skins, in every piece of trauma that travels with them.

Please read and listen to all my exited Sisters, whatever our backgrounds, however we enter the sex trade – we are all branded with the lies punters drummed into us.

We see the punters for what they are,and they hate us for that, and want to not just silenced us but wiped us from the face of this world.

Most punters want to paint themselves as victims, as misunderstood.

Some punters seek the role of the conqueror, the man who will rape and pillage because he considered himself to untouchable.

Many punters disappear into being ordinary and act as good men to all outside the sex trade.

I will speak to the many types of punters I have in me, and speak to their lies and self-justifying.

In other words, I speak to that fury that slowly burns out all the poison they place in me and my prostituted Sisters.

There are the punters who tell themselves that the prostituted enjoy violent sex.

That it is the nature of the prostituted to endure sadism that “real” women would label as rape or torture.

A common belief with these punters is the prostituted do not feel pain, can never be humiliated – no, in their minds, he is being forced by the prostitute to do shameful violent acts that he could never do to women he loves or consider to be part of his status.

So as the punter rapes, mentally abuses, tortures the prostituted; he makes himself the victim, for he reframed his violence as the prostitute controlling him.

There are the punter who see buying the prostituted as some kind of art or great cultural statement.

These punters often collects the prostituted from many forms of prostitution, from many countries – they make it a hobby to consume the prostituted.

These men pretend to themselves that they are sexual outlaws, that they are anarchists – when in reality, they are highly conservative like the majority of men who make the choice to be sexually violent.

The punters who think they are artists have many illusions or reinventions of what it is to be prostituted.

It is these punters that invented the concept that the prostituted are goddesses, and live in some abstract detached higher plain.

The whore-goddess was invented to stop made him having any guilt or shame, or to know that he is a criminal.

To be a goddess is to be sub-human – it is have no access to pain, no access to grief, no friends or family that care for you, no home to call your own.

To be a goddess-whore is to only live to serve the punter’s every desire however sadistic or life-threatening

In other words this is no spiritual belief, just another form of slavery.

But the punters who decide it a form of art to consume the prostituted, see no oppression only place the whore on a pedestal.

He places his fantasy into poetry, into paintings, into films, in novels, in reportage – always hiding his violence behind his money and roses.

There are the punters who enter and hide inside a group of men on the prowl.

This is usually stag does or other forms of sexual tourism.

These punters pretend they were forced by other men to do what they know was bad.

They are liars – for there is always time and space for any man to choose not to buy the prostituted.

I do not care how drunk he is, how much peer pressure is placed on him, or whether he thinks it be ok coz it is not in the place he lives in.

All men can make the choose never to be a punter.

It is not hard to say no – so speak the truth, the reason you choose to be a punter is coz  you refuse to care or see the prostituted as fully human.

There is nothing I and my exited Sisters hate more than the constant whining and self-pity of punters.

Grow up and be a man, and just take full responsibility for your criminal act of consuming the prostituted.

I can go forever about who punters are, but I stop here.

My Heart is Breaking Up and Free

I am inside trauma, inside a place that I hope many of you do not know.

Trauma for me is the ghost that follows me.

Trauma for me is my stomach ripping itself apart without the release of being sick.

Trauma for me is laying in bed with the weight of punters fucking me to waiting to die, with no-one else in the room.

Trauma for me is being on the edge of a headache as my silent terror screams in me.

Trauma for me is drowning when nowhere near water.

Words need to describe this hell.

Words must compare, must paint poetry, must reach past the brain into deep grief and pain.

I will not invent words, but use common words to write blood and guts that is trauma.

I do not look for supernatural goddesses or gods to rescue you, I cannot find philosophises to fit this pain.

No I reach into words that do speak to a single truth, but using fiction to explore the complex nature of trauma.

I reach into novels to see people as complex, I reach into ghosts stories for the sense of not understanding or knowing solid ground.

I reach into testimonies of slaves, of soldiers, of survivors of too many genocides, of native people, and hidden histories of the oppressed.

I reach into diaries and letters of those who seen the evils that men do to women and girls.

I read the histories of the prostituted knowing to read between the lines as it was recorded by those who gain by the status quo of the sex trade.

I search hard to find the hidden words of the prostituted and honour their survival from censorship or being written over.

I do not use or trust statistics and facts that are shape by hiding the male violence or making it small enough for others to handle.

Instead to get inside trauma, we must go beyond simple facts and into the world of emotions or the world of being excluded from emotions.

Trauma is being dead but fighting to live with joy every moment of every day.

Trauma is wanting to remember but knowing it is too broken to see with the clearness of knowing full truth.

For the truth of trauma is knowing in the body more than the mind.

The truth of trauma is seeing small moments as you want to close it down, but at the same time want to yell it out or act out in order to show the injustice.

Trauma is going back to rooms where the unspeakable was commonplace.

Trauma is going back to so many punters they have no faces, no names and just are fear landing in you.

How can write to trauma, only by going back into it till it becomes complex and not simple so others think they understand.

Trauma is always slipping away.

Memories are Made of Blood

I can remember being prostituted in red.

I don’t remember in pictures, I feel the reality of that time from my stomach and the aching of my vagina and anus.

I remember as I freeze before eventually getting into sleep

I remember as the words of the sex work lobby poison my brain.

I remember when I recognise the cold stare of those still trapped in the sex trade.

All memories of that time courses through my blood.

I was never born to be prostituted, it was never a dream of mine – but those years change me and made me into a fighter.

Prostitution changes all the prostituted mainly by stealing their humanity and making into goods.

There is no good that can found in the regime that is prostitution – you cannot find a silver lining that helps you to turn away from our oppression.

I know there is a desperate search for the good side to prostitution, a search to find the unicorns of the good punter, the kindly sex trade profiteers and the happy hooker.

In this fantasy, indoors prostitution is made safe – well safe enough to be ignored.

In this fantasy, all the prostituted enter as adults not from poverty, had never been abused in childhood, are not addicted to drugs or alcohol, are white and middle-class.

In this fantasy, punters are gentlemen who would report any trafficked women or under-aged prostitutes.

In this fantasy, sex trade profiteers respect the prostituted, as they give them decent wages, proper access to health care and routes to exiting if it is asked for.

This fantasy is killing the prostituted every moment of every day, for it is used to keep hidden the hate and male violence that is our reality.

The more you choose to believe the lies of the sex trade lobby – the more rapes, the more torturing and the more murders of the prostituted becomes the norm.

Your need to want a fantasy is an enabler to the genocide of the prostituted.

You are creating our bloodbath by your apathy and ignorance.

Sorry, if that offends you, I am remembering in blood as you can keep a safe detachment.

I have been in rooms where memory had to cut away in order to survive.

I have been in rooms with punters who had paid to make my body know pain beyond thought, pain that enters and pollutes my body without end, pain where words lose meaning.

I have been alone in rooms with punters who with one look control my will and turn into their sex doll.

I have known torture in all forms, I have been raped beyond counting, I have known of prostituted women and girls who disappeared – I known death was expected, that my survival was just a toss of a coin.

That is the reality of being prostituted – don’t fall for the fantasy.



Time of Untruths

We are under the oppression of having Trump as US President.

His philosophy is to tell as many untruths as possible until he has brainwash a nation to follow his way.

It is the philosophy of a pimp-thinker.

So in these Trump years, what hope is there for liberation for the prostituted.

Trump is a man who has no respect for women, no interest in helping poor non-white women, no interest in runaway teens.

Trump is a man who refuses to connect the dots of how and why there is a sex trade.

He thinks like a pimp, and acts likes a punter.

All his marriages are made disposable as he knows he is entitled to screw as many women as he can possess.

That is punter behaviour, for he makes women into sexual goods that he throws away.

His body language is that of a pimp.

See how he pushes women aside, how he does look them in the eye unless it to control and bully, how points and threatens even about minor events.

Trump needs to control, rule over and silence all opposition – real or imagine.

This is a dangerous environment to be an Abolionlist, dangerous to be an exited women and dangerous for all those still embedded in the sex trade.

This a time for celebration for sex trade profiteers and punters.

In a land of untruths, pimps and punters can triumph. For their lies and mental manipulation becomes the norm.

l will speak to the endless untruths made to control and mentally abuse the prostituted.

There is the untruth that indoors prostitution, especially escorting, is an easy way to get rich.

What is easy about being trapped in a room with a punter who has paid to owned and control you?

What is easy when at any that punter can choose to be as violent as he desires?

Where the riches, when most escorting agencies take huge cuts and use fines to control?

There is the untruth that some forms of prostitution can be made safe, or at the minimum safe enough to make outsiders think prostitution is acceptable.

How can prostitution ever be safe, when all punters view the prostituted as sexual goods to consume and toss aside?

Prostitution can never be safe as long as punters have that entitlement. Instead,the sex trade will become more skilled at making the constant murders, serial raping and torturing of the prostituted invisible.

That is living in the kingdom of untruths.

Please if you fighting Trump and his reinvention of the how we allowed to think, please remembered the prostituted.



Inside My Soul

I have put my soul music, music that I know so well it is in my blood, so I can get back to writing.

Soul music is my soother, my root back to a past I wanted but never had, and soul music speaks to my silences.

I have been beyond upset, I have been frozen away from work or remembering what made me who I am now.

I need to reach down and grasp hold of my soul and let it scream out its silence.

To know the parts of me that find language so hard, I must see and know the conditions of my past, see and know those who gain by my silencing, and see and know that abolition is not a dream, but an urgent reality.

I will start in the middle, with those who gain by my and all exited women staying silent.

First and foremost, all punters gain normality and lack of stigma, if exited women have no voices.

They can pay to rape, pay to torture, pay to mentally abuse, pay to murder with no consequences or public shaming.

Punters want to viewed as good guys, or as victims – they hate our voices for we expose them as sadists and criminals.

Then there is the sex trade/work lobby and their cronies – they have a full-time in silencing all words of exited women.

They cover this up with disingenuous phrase –

We must only listen to current sex workers.

Please look carefully at those words.

Think about the conditions of prostitution, and then think what access prostituted women have to use their own words to describe their lives.

When we work in domestic violence, we know many women will speak of loving the man that battered them, we know many women stay thinking they can change his behaviour.

We do not take them at their word.

But we are meant to think every prostituted is right if she said she is empowered, she is in control, that her punters treat her with respect.

This is the language of sex trade profiteers and punters, it is the language of survival when you are prostituted.

I and most exited women used that language when we were prostituted.

We used it to convince ourselves that it was normal to be prostituted.

We used it to forget the constant hate and violence put into our body and soul.

We used the language of our oppressors for we knew no other words.

Part of the joy and liberation of becoming an exited woman is discovering there are many other words and we can invent anew language.

The language of abolition, the language of human rights, the language of self-determination, the language of freedom.

To understand why abolition must be the aim, we must see and fully know the conditions of prostitution.

This not about being graphic, or wanting shock for the sake of it – it about knowing what are fighting about and for.

We must know all prostitution is the conditions of trafficking, that there no form of prostitution that can be made safe.

As long as it is normal for puntersto know they can buy another human for their sexual wants, no prostitute will ever be safe.

No punter cares or wants to know how the prostitute can to be there – he is just a consumer who pays to control and own his sexual goods.

The puntershas no interest in her past, no interest in any injuries on her body, no concern that she cannot speak the local language, no upset that pimps may be controlling.

That has no relevant to his sexual fantasy, or more than likely it is feeding that fantasy.

Punters will use violence on all types of the prostituted, this violence will be fast or low, this violence will be in any place.

The violence is usually pre-planned, not spontaneous.

Most violence done to the prostituted is extremely sadistic – most would be classed as torture and rape if it was done to the non-prostituted.

It is the norm for the prostituted to know torture, to be raped beyond counting, to have a constant knowledge that they could made to disappear or murder any day.

How dare anyone call that sex work!

So to end, we must speak to abolition.

We must learn from other other Abolitionists who have succeeded.

Abolition is hard, and is a long-term project, it is planting a tree that we may see.

But abolition must be real for the prostituted – no woman can free when so many women are embedded in the hell that is prostitution.