No More

I have campaigning for real justice and dignity for the prostituted for so long, and every time small progress is made, I see how trapped the prostituted are.

There is a long road to true justice for the prostituted, I have enough of the few crumbs we are meant to be grateful for.

I fight for the Nordic Approach to cover every country in the world.

But that is brilliant start, but nowhere near the end to gain true justice and dignity for all the prostituted.

It is vital that we criminalise all men who choose to buy other humans for their sexual greed.

That is a good start, but we need to dig deeper into showing who these are punters.

We need more than a standard fine for punters.

We need to fine on a scale of their income, such as 10% of their wages or benefits.

We need to have serious jail sentences for sadist punters and punters who consume the prostituted on a regular basis.

We need stop shaming the prostituted, and place all the blame and stigma onto the punters.

It is vital to criminalise all those who profiteer from all forms of prostitution.

But again, we must do more.

We must accept that there is little or no difference between profiteering from trafficking or so-called freely chosen prostitution.

We must see that all forms of prostitution, whether indoors or street-based, is structured on profiteering on rape, torture and disregard of the welfare of the prostituted.

That is there no safe variety of prostitution.

And, if we get the Nordic Approach, it must be with holistic and long-term approaches to how the prostituted can exit.

If we are to offer long-term therapy or counselling, it must be designed to be specialist to understand the trauma of surviving prostitution.

We must give the exited routes back to employment or education, routes to a safe place to live.

We may need to build ways for prostituted women to get their children back.

All that is vital and life-affirming.

It not good enough to just be an internet warrior who types how great the Nordic Approach is.

The prostituted are inside a genocide, so hiding beside a computer, and saying how sad that is is never enough.

I stopped writing, coz despair was in my heart.

Do more please.





Not the Same

In this post I will speak to Margaret Baldwin’s wonderful essay in “Not for Sale: Feminists Resisting Prostitution and Pornography”, which is “Strategies of Connection: Postitution and Feminist Politics.”

I will go through it thoroughly for to me it give hope and a route to revolution.


”Feminist activists confront profound challenges in crafting strategies against prostitution, and for prostituted women. Those challenges require putting into action the greatest and more demanding strengths of feminism: forging connections among women, confronting the political meaning of our silences, and refusing to abandon any woman by the side of the road. a feminist political approach to prostitution must begin from these strengths, and be tested against the standards set by them…. This paper attempts some modest answers to these large question.”

I use this blog and my talks to confront feminists with their isolating of the prostituted, their abandonment of the women who know male violence from the insides of their guts.

I am a feminist, but a despairing feminists as daily I know my feminists Sisters are othering my prostituted Sisters.


”In feminism, we are committed to promoting solidarity among all women. We do this based on the belief that our experiences as women are linked, and our destinies shared…. The history of women’s oppression is likewise a tale of fine distinctions made among us: who deserved it, who asked for it, and so on. The history of feminism is, in turn, the history of our resistance to those distinctions.”

Here we see the beginning of the Othering of the prostituted.

”… That men hurt, despise, and exploit women and girls in and by prostitution should be enough reason for solidarity with survivors. My question, though, is whether more is demanded of us in forging a connection between prostitution and other sexual abuse – and between prostitutes and other women – beyond an initial understanding that prostitution is abusive, too.”

This is my springboard to revolution, that there multiple differences between prostitution and other forms of male violence against women.

We must know the differences to destroy prostitution as an institution, and not to abandon the prostituted class.

”This is no to suggest that all women are the same, or experience the same kind of victimisation as women. Certainty, not all women are prostituted, and that is a good thing. Not all women, that is, turn tricks for money, five times a day, thirty-five times a week, with two thousand men a year, while suffering at least the usual incidence of incest, rapes, beatings, and sexual harassment that other women do. The prostitution is on top of that. Many women have to endure only pieces of prostitution. Many women are subjected to unwanted sex from men who objectify us, but not typically from two thousand men a year. Many women suffer serial battery from husbands or lovers, but not typically also at the hands of hundreds of relative strangers. Many women receive money from aharassing boss in the form of a pay check, but not typically in a context where harassment is the the job. Each of these transactions shares something in common with prostitution, but none of them is prostitution. We might observe, too, that none of these transactions is exactly like the others, too. Rape is one thing, domestic battery another thing, sexual harassment another, prostitution another. All of them, nevertheless, involve some expression or manifestation of sexual ownership. Each of these practices, understood this way, is like a particular tactical weapon in the arsenal of male dominance – each can be deadly, even if differently deplored.”

This a stark reminder that we must stop saying that prostitution is just too many rapes, just the same as domestic violence, is just sexual harassment at work.

It is more, on the scale of genocide, and like all genocides it done to those who considered to non-humans, so our pain, grief and fight for just justice is discounted.

”… For underlying each of our principal strategies in rape law reform, in domestic battery and self-defence work, and in sexual harassment resistance, is an assertion crying out to be believed – we are not prostitutes. Our rape shield rules are crafted to distinguish in a juror’s mind between the woman testifying that a man raped her, and the prostitute who presumably has sex with anyone, consensually…. “

All violence to the prostituted is nothing happening to nothing.

Our pain is blow into the wind, our humiliation is crashed into dust, our right to grieve our loss of humanity is laughed at.

We cannot be raped, we cannot be battered, we do know torture and our murders are not even recorded.

Nothing is happening here.

”… Like women in prostitution, feminism has been channelled, deprived, punished, and cajoled to maintain certain limits, to please in certain ways – conditions which may have come to seem normal for us, and which some of us will at times enthusiastically say we chose.”


”The biggest silence maintained by the anti- prostitute design of our sexual violence work is silence about johns. In reality, they are mostly white, married men with at least a little disposable income – real people, that is. Emperical research on johns is almost non-existent. Since johns are rarely arrested, their identities remain shielded from public disclosure, as well as from criminal sanctions. Even johns try to avoid the label. In prostitution transactions, johns frequently adopt a variety of sexual roles – as boyfriend, as lover, as father, sometimes as punitive avenger of the public good. By insisting on these roles, a john aviods seeing himself as just a trick. On all of these fronts – academic, legal, and personal –  who johns are, why they buy women, and their culpability for doing so, are evaded questions”

This lack of centring in on punters is the biggest betrayal to the prostituted class.

Punters are your brothers, your work colleagues, our radical allies, your teachers, yours pastors or priests – heck punters are everywhere and nowhere.

But punters are allowed to not exist as criminals, or to be seen to do actual violence.

Their rapes, their torturing and their murders are purposely made invisible in order to make that nothing is happening to nothing.

”Prostituted women and girls themselves, who have the most insight and information on johns, have also been silenced. The prostitution itself takes its toll in despair, depression, denial, drug abuse, isolation, torture, and murder. Many women do not survive. Women who do survive prostitution usually find recalling and retelling their experiences enormously painful and disturbing. The law, too, plays a role in silencing survivors. Criminal records, mental health treatment histories, and substance abuse issues compromise a prostituted woman’s credibility, assuming she ever gets to talk at all about the men who buy her…. The obvious beneficiaries of the suppression of prostituted women’s voices, again, are the johns who use them.”

The grim reality of being an exited woman is our knowledge it was a toss of a coin that we survived.

We live alongside the ghosts of the majority of the prostituted who were thrown away, did not have the ability to stay sane or alive, who were made to disappear.

We live with the ghosts of the prostituted whose murders were unreported, who were tortured into losing hope, the ones who committed suicide.

To be exited is luck, our inner strength and warrior spirit is as strong as the millions of the prostituted who are lost to us.

”… Perhaps non-prostitutes,  especially white, middle-class, married women, have some stake in this separation, too. It is uncomfortable to think of your nice husband or retired dad as a guy who buys women and girls for sex. Maybe this is a reason, however unconscious, for non-prostituted women, especially white, middle-class, married women, to keep separating themselves from prostitutes and their own abuse from prostitution.”

”Moreover, we know that some of the realities of prostitution are not confined to prostitution itself.”

”… One man is not the same as two thousand.”

This is my revolution, that the scale of the prostituted bodies is carrying the thousands of nameless and faceless punters pouring rape, tortures and deaths into them as their norm.

This is not normal for the non-prostituted, even though rape, battery and harassment in almost every women’s lives.

What hurts our experiences are dismiss and silenced.

One or three rapes garnered sympathy from feminists, but to be raped to when you lose counts or that you have a skin is too be ignored.

To be battered by a man who is known is a crime and access if lucky to shelter – but to battered by endless punters is just part of the job, or reframed as S/M sex.

We are being sold down the river.


Sitting Still

Oh well, sitting here listening to Otis sitting at the dock of the bay – trying to frame my mind round postmodernism and free speech.

In other words, trying to understand how and why modern feminism and students cannot see that the prostituted class deserve human rights, and that in the sex trade there is no such thing as free choice for the prostituted.

I have always I was a leftist and a feminist – but the more I become an Abolitionist and exited woman, the more distance I feel.

I feel betrayed by modern feminism and left-wing views – in the name of individualism and free choice, the  prostituted are abandoned to male violence.

This is a tragedy, for it is a genocide in plain view.

It appears all the rules of the left and feminism are shattered when it comes to the prostituted.

Let me speak to a few givens that are abandoned when it comes to the prostituted.

Firstly, I thought that to be on the left we can see we are more than just individual who can make free choices without outside interference.

That is never true.

All choice is affected by society, upbringing, position in class, ethnicity, education and endless factors that comes from outside the individual.

More important, an individual has little or no power to controlling whether others abuse them or not, whether they get caught in a man-made or natural disaster, or whether they are viewed as sub-human or not.

The prostituted as a class are made up of mostly females who have all access to free choice eroded from them.

This erosion is through being non-white, through childhood abuse, through poverty, through living in a war or disaster zone, through access to the porn culture, through peer pressure, through vulnerabilities that are a magnet to the sex trade profiteers.

This is the environment in which the prostituted are given access to “free choice”.

It is a like a a bird in a cage thinking it is free, for it can know no other world.

I have learnt the hard way to not rely on the left or modern feminism.

As the prostituted are being tortured, raped and murdered, the left and modern feminists discuss how to speak to prostitution without offending anyone or speaking to the conditions the prostituted are in.

To never speak the conditions, is to do the work of the sex trade and its supporters.

If we never speak to those hells, how an we ever truly understand what it is to be prostituted.

Free speech has become a silencing weapon.

By framing free speech as a place where no-one is allowed to be upset, where all language must framed in sex work jargon – that is tool to silence Abolitionists and exited women.

Often this is framed as a debate.

That is debate between a multi-billions institution against Abolitionists and exited women.

I cannot “debate” whilst millions of the prostituted are living in a genocide.

The Left have abandoned the prostituted, ignoring their oppression, and deciding against logic the prostituted are liberated and may even be privileged.

Modern feminists have abandoned the prostituted by saying it is individual free choice and empowering for women.

It has become the way to get females out of poverty.

It is has become the way to all disabled men access to paid sex.

It is spoken as the way to get over student debt.

Hell, in this postmodern utopia – to be prostituted has become the only way women and girls can be liberated.

I have no place in that world.




Are We Allowed to be Human

This is written as workers and volunteers for human rights groups are being accused of consuming the prostituted.

This has deeply triggered me, but also what stuns me is the shock that there is.

These men who make the choice to consume the prostituted are all the same, whether they claimed to care about human rights.

To be a punter is to decide the prostituted are not human enough to deserved rights.

This is hate – there should no place for any punter in any charity or human rights group.

There is nothing new about punters hiding in charities and human groups.

I was consumed by men who were in human rights groups, in campaigning groups for liberation, and men who said they hated torture and abuse of females.

These men preach ways to end torture as they torture my mind and body into hell.

These men call an end to rape in war zones, an end to rape as torture  as they carelessly raped me into forgetting I had a body.

Their wordsof freedom, of rebellion, of resisting were dust struck in my throat as they deep-throated me.

They spoke to me of resisting torture of political prisoners as they shown porn that rehearsed all forms of torture before they pour it into the  bodies of the prostituted.

The screams of the prostituted were nothing.

The inner and outer injuries of the prostituted were made invisible.

The deaths of the prostituted were made unimportant.

These are listed on human rights records, these are rarely reported by the liberal media, these are made nothing happening to nobody.

Instead, too many human rights groups and members hold up being prostituted as free choice and a good way out of poverty and oppression.

The poisonous language of sex work dominates all discussions round prostitution and human rights.

Look, at the liberal reaction to Oxfam workers consuming the prostituted in Haiti.

Too often it is said without logic or compassion, that being paid for sex in a disaster zone is excellent way out of poverty.

So, with that logic, all women and girls who are poor or desperate, should sell their bodies and minds for men’s sexual greed.

Or does that only apply to women and girls who we can Other – such poor black females, females from care, females who appears to have mental health issues, females who are indigenous etc.

In fact, punters and sex trade profiteers find ways to make all types of females into the Other and into the prostituted.

But still the liberal media and its supporters find ways to justify their men consuming the prostituted – ways of avoiding of connecting this with human rights.

I see hate-speech.

I could cry, but who cares about the tears of the prostituted.






Writing to the Unseen

Trauma is a pain that is silenced, made invisible and always framed in the wrong way.

In my blog, I try to say trauma in plain words.

Say that extended desert with no end.

Say how pain is so normal it no longer allow to be real.

Say being alert and waking in the night is printed in my skin.

But my personal trauma is a tiny part of why I became an Abolitionist.

My trauma is the the norm of being part of the prostituted class.

To have been inside the sex trade and survive is to drown in trauma.

I want all people who claim they care for the prostituted to study, listen and understand that trauma.

There can be no lasting change or route to justice, if our trauma is made invisible.

We live with impacted complex trauma, a trauma from a place of being made sub-human.

Our trauma was made from a diet of constant rapes from hundreds of men, constant mental and physical violence, and a reality of being on the edge of death.

Our trauma was made to grow by the turning away by those who could of help us have a reason to remember we were still human.

Our trauma was encouraged to hide by the language of sex work, and the constant message that we were weak if we  even for a moment thought we did not like being prostituted.

The trauma of the prostituted is the loudest silent scream that I know of.

It is a scream that the world has ignore for over 3000 or so years.

A scream that rains blood on every continent.

A scream that is shamefully made silent by all governments, all institutions hat could  help and by a public that cannot know the prostituted.

Inside that silent screaming, is a broken heart of the rejected and the search for a route to being part of what it is to be  fully human.

That is trauma in the raw.

Please listen and don’t speak over.

That would be a good start.


Back to the Track

I have been unable to write after my move to Devon.

This is because my mental energy is focus on moving and trying to fit in.

Now, I am wanting to write and be inside the Abolitionist Movement.

I have had a crisis of doubts that I can belong or even have the right to speak my opinions. But slowly, I am reaching a place of peace and acceptance.

Recently, I have been made to say that I was never prostituted for there is no evidence.

Instead it has decided that I am autistic or damaged from childhood mental abuse.

This made me scared to write.

But I was prostituted, and doubt that I am autistic.

I can never prove I was prostituted, only know it is every cell of my body and mind.

All I know, it is normal for exited women to be told by those who claimed to love them that it was never prostitution.

Who wants to believe a loved one is constantly raped, tortured and on the edge of death?

How do see that your loved one was made sub-human and into sexual goods?

But this disbelief is part of the silencing that is around the truths of exited women.

It comes from a place of refusal to see the impacted trauma that is the legacy of being prostituted.

Yes, many exited women were abused as children, and a few may of had previous mental issues – but the constant violence and hate that is prostitution is the root of most of that trauma.

Trauma is push deep down by the lack of belief, trauma is built on a lack of justice and a root back to dignity.

To not hear or believe that your loved one was prostituted is to block her route back to being fully human.

I and other exited women understand your lack of belief, we know it hurts too much, we know it is the unthinkable.

Do not try to talk as around to your way of thinking.

Do not tell us we must be lying or misremembering.

Do not diagnose us without factoring in impacted trauma.

Do think your stereotype view of what a prostitute is the only way to be prostituted. Think of the opposite and know both are true.

Do teach yourself the multiple ways women and girls are prostituted.

Do listen to exited women without judgement or preconceived ideas.

Do be open to change and ideas that hurt to the core.

Then you may on the start of believing.

To believe is sad and hurts – but to believe is freedom and a part of the hammer that will destroy the sex trade.



Hard to Handleut

OK, I have Spotify soul on, so with those classics at full pitch, I am going to write to my subconscious mind.

I start with James Brown for my title, going into Motown, Stax And Philly Soul, as I try to reach back and deep into my prostituted Soul.

No-one is born to be prostituted, it is never a freely made choice – to be prostituted is come from a place of vulnerability or a place where all self- made choices are stolen from you.

Yes, to survived the years of prostitution it is normal to shout loudly it was your free choice, and that no- one has the right to say otherwise.

The prostituted will want to be the Happy Hooker, want to imagine they have full control, want to know they can come and go as they wish.

No prostitute want to see the reality of the sex trade when she is inside it.

Who can cope with knowing you are inside a death machine – an institution that makes rape and sexual violence your work, an institution that steal your pay, an institution that make you dead as you are still breathing.

Sex work has no connection to being prostitution, therefore that term has no meaning.

Prostitution is slavery, all prostitution is the conditions of trafficking, prostitution is pure male hate.

To say it is either sex or work, is a major betrayal to all the prostituted class.

To say the term sex work, is to confirm that the prostituted are not worthy to be fully human and to have human rights.

I have been crying off and on for a week, coz I see so little that the prostituted are seen as fully human.

I am finding it impossible to write so I will stop.